Made a promise I can’t deliver on

[Rulesforthesakeofrules]

I promised DD that she could get her ears pierced after primary school. Her new school doesn’t allow earrings. I’ve been told that studs need to be left in for eight weeks…so basically she can’t have them done until she leaves secondary school…or sits in isolation room for a fortnight after a summer holiday (another child and parent were told this). Transparent earrings or plasters over them aren’t allowed either. It’s a school that seems to pride itself on going further on petty dogma than other schools in the borough, but not going as far where more important stuff (clamping down on bullying, standard of teaching) is concerned.

Yeah, unfathomable to me but it seems a big thing for some people.

DH’s reaction to being diagnosed with a fairly rare form of cancer and warned that he would be in hospital for months was ‘great, now I can finally get an ear pierced’.

He worked in a formal environment and had to remove his earring when in the office.

I hate how schools dictate what kids can do to their bodies. It's only lobe piercings ffs.
I'd just get them done and try to cover them with her hair.

Explain to DD like you have here. She will have many school mates in the same boat.
I would see out the first year.
The weekend before school breaks, might be a good option. Your DD would have to sit in isolation room from whenever they notice her ears under her hair until the end of term.

Similar at the start of the next year.

Ridiculous of the school to not allow earrings at all as if the break is only six weeks then it means effectively, girls cannot get their ears pierced until they leave school at 18, which is overstepping into their private life. I'd do it at the very end of term as @user1492757084 says.

DD1 went to a superselective girls grammar and they allowed two small studs in each ear.

You’ve wrapped up your anxieties about the school into this promise about earrings. Do not present it to your dd that way.

To her it’s just a promise about earrings and you’ve already missed the ‘after primary’ moment and are half way to secondary school now. Sorry, we’ll do it next summer, let’s buy a new school bag / nice pens or something instead.

My son has been accepted in to a selective school, too. They're allowed two small studs, dainty necklaces and even a nose stud.
Whereas I went to a school that would really punish you for any type of jewellery. I find it so odd.

Thing is if she’s not allowed to wear earrings won’t they close up? She’ll have to put them in every weekend if she can’t wear them the rest of the time surely
You could do it asap and take the school up on the isolation. Serves them right tbh.. what’s wrong with earrings? Is it risk of injury

This. Life is disappointing at times

Have them pierced on the first day of the holidays next summer. 6 weeks should be long enough.

How long is her hair?

Clear studs will not be seen unless she has really short hair or a ponytail.

I hate how parents choose a school then moan about the rules of the school that they chose!

If you don't like the school rules then find another school that does allow earrings.

well you’ve certainly left it too late now. Even when I had mine done 40 years ago the recommendation wasn’t 8 weeks. Do it at the start of next year’s summer holidays and it’ll be find by the time school starts

Why can't she get them done 1/2 weeks before the end of the summer term? Are they allowed to cover them with tape for PE at primary?
Alternatively 6 weeks should be fine to take the out during the day and put them in as soon as she comes home and leave in overnight.
DD took hers out for an activity weekend about 3 months after having hers pierced and she had to have one redone because it closed over so although they heal after 6 weeks it can take longer to stay open

If it's 3 weeks, then you could explain the school situation and say she can have it as an early Christmas gift instead.

Who told you to expect a number of detentions? That seems extreme. Just for your child or everyone?

Absolutely agree. There are very good health and safety reasons around the wearing of earrings.

Its actually what they can wear to school, the pupils can do what they want and wear what thay want outside school - and the reason they think they can dictate on it, is that they can, as this school has shown

Six weeks should be fine. Why don’t you get it done start of the week she leaves primary? Where I live that gives you 7 weeks. Should be enough - she can put them back in after school every day so they are in 4pm to 8am (16 hours).

Clearly for any child that knowingly is breaking the school dress code, why would it be 'everyone' that got detention for that🙄?

I do find some schools very strict when it comes to piercings. A friends school has the same policy so she had her daughters done right at the end of the school year and they healed enough for the re start of school in September.

My daughter had her 1sts done at the end of year 5, her seconds at the end of year 7 and her 3rds at the end of year 8 and her belly button done at the end of year 10.

Her school only ever asked her to remove them when she wore anything but studs and for PE, I don’t think they even knew about her belly button piercing.

Why is she going to have a number of detentions? If she behaves and follows the rules then she’ll be fine!

It varies so much. My dd got hers done when she was 14 and they grumbled on with problems for about 15 months. Then they’ve been fine for years.

My daughter had her ears pierced on the day school broke up for summer holidays. Six weeks later, she was fine to take them out for school. I have never heard to leave them in for 8 weeks, but l guess things change

She already said they're looking for another school.

It just seems odd to me that schools dictate what kids bodies look like out of school as well as inside school. It's the opposite of bodily autonomy which is something we try to teach our kids.

Are you a stickler for rules then?

It does need to be 6 to 8 weeks yes, so she will need to wait to next summer, get it done in first day, do the 6 weeks then take them out for school and back in on return for 6 months

howvee as she won’t be able to wear them to school she may no longer wish them done, get her some good clip ins.