Made a promise I can’t deliver on

[Rulesforthesakeofrules]

I promised DD that she could get her ears pierced after primary school. Her new school doesn’t allow earrings. I’ve been told that studs need to be left in for eight weeks…so basically she can’t have them done until she leaves secondary school…or sits in isolation room for a fortnight after a summer holiday (another child and parent were told this). Transparent earrings or plasters over them aren’t allowed either. It’s a school that seems to pride itself on going further on petty dogma than other schools in the borough, but not going as far where more important stuff (clamping down on bullying, standard of teaching) is concerned.

i thought the new places said you only needed them in for three weeks now? I’m sure that’s how long my nieces took to heal. Why didn’t you take her at the start of the holidays if this was the deal?

edited to say just asked my SIL and she said she bought this and they healed in three weeks

https://www.lovisa.co.uk/products/studx-advance-spray-100ml-xeuk

I always front it was 6 weeks for ear piercing? You’ll just have to explain to DD that while you promised unfortunately due to school
rules she won’t be able to.

So you explain to her that unfortunately circumstances have changed, this cannot happen, and you’re very sorry about that. Then ask her what treat she might like instead! I can’t see this being a huge deal?

It’s much quicker than 8 weeks. I’ve only seen 6 weeks. Do them at the start of the holidays and they’ll be fine to take out by September. For the final 2 weeks, just put them back in straight after school, overnight.

It’s 6 to 8 weeks, so I think if you did it at the start of the summer holidays next year you could probably get away with wearing the studs outside of school once term starts and that should be fine. Obviously too late for this year though.

My school had this rule so we had ours done at the very beginning of the holidays. Most of us were healed after six weeks, but it was a private school so we did have slightly longer holidays than a state school.

You just tell her she can’t get them pierced yet because school doesn’t allow. It’s good for resilience to learn to manage disappointment. She can choose something else maybe

If you think the school rules are pettt whilst the quality of teaching and bullying etc are a problem then whether DD can get her ears pierced should be least of your worries. I would get on a waiting list for a better school and hope she isn’t still there at 18!

Studex have a solution , earrings can be removed after 3 weeks . I think it’s sold in Superdrug or look on line .

Has she just finished y5 or y6? If it’s y5, I’d have them done towards the end of the summer term next year. If it’s y6, you’ve left it too late really, she’d have to wait until next July. (And you can see how strict they really are)

Can it not be just before the end of term in Primary?

So she can't have her ears pierced. You made a promise but unfortunately you can't keep it. Be honest and tell her that. School is more important and sometimes we have to deal with things beyond our control that mess up our plans.

Why on earth do schools think they can dictate what students do with their own bodies?

If you knew this, why didnt you get them done on the 1st day of the school holidays?

If school does not allow pupils to have pierced ears, she cannot have them. It's not your fault, you cannot be blamed for it so she will understand.

It seems archaic but I suppose they want to avoid having pupils with piercings all over the place and it's easier to have a blanket ban.

What happens with pupils from a background in which ear piercing is traditional? I suppose their little holes are of longstanding and they can wear their earrings in the evenings and weekends as well as holidays.

The same way some employers legally can.

I am. She’s number 43 on the list.

She’s a good kid, but we’ve been told to expect a number of detentions.

Just explain to her and have it done on the very first day of next summer holidays. I think you'd be alright to take the original studs after the 6 weeks with invisible studs for the first couple of weeks of year 8 with wearing her hair down they'll probably not notice.

If you know she’s going to have “a number of detentions” anyway then I’d be tempted to just go ahead and do it!

It doesn't take 8 weeks.

So you tell her what you've said here. Are you worried about her reaction?

Wow I thought it was donating a kidney or something...Christ. it's earrings. Tell her you've screwed up, next summer holidays you'll get it done day one and it will be ok come 6 weeks later if she takes care to keep everything clean

It was six weeks when my DD had hers done and all the girls went at the end of Y6 (no earrings allowed in junior school but studs allowed in senior). Doubt it’s eight weeks but bit late now anyway!

All primary schools in my area are really strict about no earrings. My DD got hers done on the first day of the summer holidays and left them in until the first day of school in September. We put them in for bedtime every night and removed each morning - they've been fine.

This.