Have you ever known the woman to leave the family home and leave the kids behind? (title edited by MNHQ at request of the OP)

[Iliketocallthemsmilelines]

Or did you leave yourself?

It seems to be very rare, but it surely must happen

My mum left my dad for the man who would eventually become my stepdad, when I was 15, my sisters were 9 and 12. Initially, my younger sister went with her, but she came back for 6 months or so before leaving again, and that time my youngest sister stayed with us. I did hate her for a while, but as I got older, I understood why she wasn't happy with my dad. However, he tried to do his best for us, he wasn't aggressive or abusive, and I really wish she could have put up with it for a few more years until my youngest sister was a bit older.

My 'mother'.

Actually I do know another. I’ve only ever known him as a single dad so forgot.

1st wife -4 kids. Split and had 40:50.

2nd DP - had baby. She left. He was a single parent to a toddler and then his other 4 kids all decided as teens they wanted to live with him!

I know someone who did. They left for maybe six months then came and swapped over once they’d taken some time to figure out what they wanted.

I had a friend whose mother left her and her brother when she was quite small. Her father brought them up and she adored him. She had no contact with her mother and always said that she was fine about it because her father was so loving. She didn’t exactly know why her mother left, though she spoke about it as though her mother wanted her own life. As she was so young when it happened I don’t think that she really knew the reason

My nephew's mum did.
She said that she realised when her son was about 2/3yo that she had made a terrible mistake and wasn't ready to settle down and be a mum and was still needing to be young and single and carefree. Left the dad (my BIL) to parent 100% solo. He had to give up his job that he loved because the hours weren't compatible with childcare, and he retrained in a new much lower paying job that had more flexible hours, topped up with benefits.

She went off and had about 5 years more of the carefree liberty lifestyle - marred only by contributing the bare minimum of 15% of her income CM for the upkeep of her son, then married a divorcee bloke with 3 sons of various ages that he has 50:50 residency for. Nephew started having EOW contact visits with his mum but didn't really get on with step-brothers so contact became sporadic.

I don't have any contact with her and would consider it rude and goady to ask if she has any regrets if I did, so can't really say.

My mum did. Woke up one morning and she had just vanished. No trace of her left behind. 5 kids, I was 15. Didn’t hear from her for nearly a year. But my father was a monster and she did it to save her life. As an adult I do understand but then again she left us with him so she threw us into the deep end and saved herself. I was the eldest daughter and had to grow up overnight. Cooking, cleaning, raising my younger siblings. I also became the object of his anger. He started bringing random drunk women into the house and became a raging alcoholic. I had to steal from his wallet while he was passed out to feed us. My 12 year old sister tried to take her own life a few months later because of it. My father was on holiday in The Maldives while she lay in a coma in ICU. All 5 of us siblings have spent our whole lives trying to heal from everything that happened to us. My sister took her own life in 2023 which broke me. None of my brothers speak to my mum and they’re all alcoholics. I’m 40 now and have a really good relationship with mum (it took a very long time to get here). Don’t speak to my father at all, he’s still a monster. It’s all a bit of a shit show.

My friend's mum did. 40 years ago. She's never really forgiven her. She says it's absolutely the v worst thing that ever happened to her, a rejection she's never recovered from. Especially since becoming a mum herself, she can't fathom a woman walking out on her kids.

Yes, my friends mum at school. 4 kids. She died about 10 years later due to alcohol abuse.

I'd also add that working in children's social work, I've come across a lot of mum's who have left children behind. Some have been genuine mental health issues and/or fleeing controlling relationships. There's also been quite a few where its because they want the lifestyle of a non parent, or they've never adjusted to being a parent (sometimes but not always when they've not had a good parent to role model to them)
Sadly there's been a few where babies have been left at the office, or referrals from family members where they'd agreed to babysit and the parent never returned.

Going by some of the responses on this thread they are judged less harshly. Many posters insist on seeing women as victims, no matter how poorly they act.

My mom did when we were teenagers. My dad made things incredible difficult for her and wouldn’t be the one to leave the family home.

My sperm donor, my brothers and my mum's all left us , before we were born - I didn't meet mine until I was in my 30's and both mine and my brothers (different dad) both had many children to many different women. My mum's was a leftover American serviceman, so he probably did too.

That's just my immediate family, plenty of stories to go around.

Don't bother trying to put this on my mum , she was young , vulnerable and never asked them for anything.

Nice try though 👍.

Mum did. Never saw her again. She’d done the same thing before…..

Not me but i know or know of four women who did.

Great aunt. Left husband and two small children for another man. Remarried and had another child who only found about her mums previous marriage and kids in her 40s when the mum died. The older kids did ok but were quite "hardened" by it.

Colleague, her mum left on boxing day when her kids (4) were all quite young. Never returned, never explained. Colleague never had kids as she felt she couldn't trust herself to be a good mother.

My BIL's dad ran off with a woman who also left her marriage and two small children. Stayed in touch but lived in another country and never returned. Both her kids (boys) and BIL have done ok, but some hurt and trust issues.

Friend of ours, his wife instigated divorce as she was in love with someone else. Was meant to be 50/50 (she was SAHM) but gradually she said she couldn't have the boys this week or that week because she was busy, or had mental health issues. Now both permanently with dad. One has done ok so far. The other is a school refuser though (ND) that might have happened anyway.

I knew someone who left her kids and emigrated to Australia with another man. She was a friend but I could never get over the fact she had abandoned her kids like that.

A work colleague did this. She came to talk to me in my office just after I started so I was clear on the facts before I heard any rumours. This was thirty years ago and I was a bit shocked (but hopefully hid it) but I don’t know why really when I’d known of several men who’d done the same thing. This colleague had left her two children aged around 6 and 8 as far as I remember, as she’d been having an affair with another colleague. I’m fairly sure they got married but sadly she died in a car crash a few years later. I felt sad for her but I hadn’t had any kids at that point. Now I understand the pressures a lot better and I don’t judge.

I'm so sorry, that's so brutally unfair. I hope things are better for you now?

It’s recently happened with one of DS (primary school age) friends. I don’t know them well enough to know exactly what has happened (DH is friends with the dad so knows them better than me), but I know she left her husband and 2 kids about a month ago. She’s sofa surfing with friends about 100 miles away and has been back to see the kids a couple of times.

To be fair, Frances Shand Kydd lost an intensely fought custody case, in which her own mother gave evidence against her. The children had been living with her but John Spencer refused to return them. She’d left him for Peter Shand Kydd so perhaps, given the sensibilities of the time, that’s why she lost.

I have read that Diana always remembered the sound of her mother’s shoes on the gravel as she walked away and also that Diana remembered her father being violent towards her mother.

That is heartbreaking for the two year old 💔

I left the family home, we have DD 50/50 as it should be in any breakup where abuse is not a factor, and life is great.
I live in a house I prefer in an area I prefer and have the time and headspace to start a Masters degree/ promotion.

I don’t know the circumstances but one of the people I went to school with’s mum left him and his dad when he was about 7

one of my friend’s mum left when she was about 10.

My mum did too.

Yes, my dil did