Have you ever known the woman to leave the family home and leave the kids behind? (title edited by MNHQ at request of the OP)

[Iliketocallthemsmilelines]

Or did you leave yourself?

It seems to be very rare, but it surely must happen

You may have explained what happened in the case of my maternal grandmother. I know that she was taking antidepressants when I knew her in the 1970s.

I had always wondered about what she did.

I’ve never forgiven my mum either.

Yes my partners ex wife left 3 young children, with him getting full custody. And carried on being a waste of space right through their childhood. Even on Christmas Day she favoured the pub over spending time with them! Unbelievable.

A friend was a teenage mum and left her family, baby and country behind. I didn't know her at the time and I've never know anymore than those basic facts. I always assumed she had some kind of breakdown. She has a relationship with her adult child now. He was brought up by extended family and seems to have had a very loving and privileged (in terms of wealth) upbringing.

When I was a child, (60's) there was a corner shop over the road from our house kept by the most terrifying man who was a single dad to two boys. Their mum had walked out and never returned leaving her sons with the dad. As i was little at the time i did not know all the ins and outs but years later my mum told me that he was violent to her and that was why she left. We hated being sent to the shop, he would bellow at you, I was terrified of him as were a lot of the adults. The sons were older than me and I only knew them to say hello but when I think about it now they must have had such a difficult childhood and I am sure it left scars

Someone who was in my village did this.

it was, and still is, a gross display of entitlement.

left a lovely DH and 8 year old to live with a vulnerable woman 10 years younger who was quickly introduced as her ‘other mum’ and paraded all over Facebook in the name of ‘freedom’ and ‘true love’. Long Facebook posts ahowing off about how she doesn’t feel the need to show off on Facebook and how much better this makes her than everyone else. She has a few ‘yes’ people because of her work and ignores/calls out anyone who challenges her decisions.

her whole family is odd - very entitled and grabby - and it’s just an extension of that.

Child, now 10, clearly has issues stemming from mums behaviour and I can imagine that these will only get worse as she gets older.

Exact same situation for myself and my sibling.

My mum did 1989.!
I was 13 brother was 11 we didn't know where she was she just disappeared and took everything she had, I came home from school and found stuff missing literally 3 days after I turned 13 !
We had no idea where she had gone for weeks when she finally got in touch we found out she had left for the chap she had been having an affair with !
We hardly ever seen her there was many excuses as to why !
Dad bought us up !
Brother ended up taking his own life I've become the parent she couldn't be and I'm happy and at peace now !
Not everyone is a good.mum !

And me!

My mum left when I was 12, and my siblings were 14 and 16.

Looking back now it's obvious how bad her mental health was/is and that she's a narcissist. My brother and I are no contact. My sister stays in contact out of guilt, much to the stress it causes her. It's all one way, my sister has to message her and organise get togethers.

My lovely sister in law made the mistake of getting into contact with her behind my brother's back before their wedding. She comes from a functional family and couldn't believe that anyone could be such a shit parent. Sil knew where she worked so dropped in a message introducing herself as the mother of her grandson, that they were getting married and her number.
She received the most rantiest phone call from her. All about hard done by she is, how we didn't call her when she left, what a shit deal her divorce settlement was. She didn't once ask about the grandson she has never seen, any wedding details or anything at all about sil, or even my brother.

Yes. Boy and girl at my school. Wife left because the husband was just awful to her but (and hard to believe) a good father. Apart from being late to the deodorant party they both turned out great.

My aunt left her husband and young daughter for a married man who left his wife and four children. It was terribly sad. They are still together decades later. She had no contact with her daughter. The man she left was a lovely man.

A former friend's mum left the family home to be in a relationship with a woman. Left him and his older brother with their dad: I think they were about 12 and 16 respectively. I only knew him as an adult, and he was not in contact with her but his older brother was. My friend couldn't forgive her for it (he was quite a difficult person in his own way) but I often felt quite sorry for the woman: it wasn't her choice not to be in his life and I think she just couldn't live a lie.

I know two, from knowing as adults the children they left behind. This would have happened in the mid-'60s, so extremely rare then.

One left for another man who (according to her) 'wouldn't allow' her to bring her children so she chose him over her kids. She did see the children but the OM wouldn't have anything to do with them so she would see them infrequently, either away from her home or when he was gone. She's dead now, and the one son I know had a very distant relationship with her as an adult. He's had a lot of therapy to come to terms with it.

The other just decided that wife- and motherhood wasn't for her so she packed a bag, left, and 'dropped off the face of the earth. No OM involved. The children's father later remarried. According to the daughter I know (again as an adult) said that her dad was wonderful and had married 'the right woman' who later adopted the DC. When the children were in their 40s their mother contacted them wanting to 'reconnect'. Two didn't bother to reply. The other one listened to her 'sob story' and then told her to fuck off and never contact him again.

So sorry about your brother.

My nephew's wife did just this. She dropped the 2DC to school.and packed her bags and left to be with another man who wanted her but not her 2 DC. She never said a word to my nephew about being unhappy or leaving. He got a call from school one day saying could he collect DC as they had been unable to contact their Mum. He got them, took them home and realised she had left. He was a self employed electrician so had to significantly cut back his work hours to accomodate DC. Their mother went overseas with new man and didn't leave forwarding address. She changed her phone so no one could contact her. Her Mum, stepdad and Aunt all disowned her. Eldest DC was 11 and youngest 8. Both grown up now eldest Son is electrician like his Dad and youngest going to uni in September. Mum has not been heard of sinse leaving. My nephew's mil and his Mum helped him raise the boys by giving childcare and the occasional weekend. It took years for my nephew to get a divorce because nowhere to send papers.

My mum did (before I was born in second marriage), it screwed up her relationship with her kids permanently.

I left the marital home, but have 50 50 with ex with kids.

My step sons fiancee left him with 3 under 5
She couldn't cope with the kids and he had to give up his job to stay at home with them.she would have 1 at a time for a good year or so until they got easier to care for.

my dads cousin upped and left in the night, her husband was on nights, and her young daughter in bed. she left for another man. I have 2 friends this happened too. One mum left my friend and her brother with the dad and upped it to America. Another friends mum left her and her older brother on the rug in the lounge for their dad to find when he got in from work, they were babies.

I have, personally, known two people who have done this. The first one ran off with a man, to another country, leaving a young boy behind. The father remarried and the boy had a difficult relationship with his stepmother. The young lad had a very troubled life, sadly. The mother cannot fathom why the child did not want a reconciliation with her. Zero accountability or empathy.

Another woman, had a Shirley Valentine holiday romance and left her kids to move abroad with someone who was, obviously conning her. The worst thing about that was she walked out on her teenage daughter, who was very vulnerable, and had some mental health issues (unsurprisingly). I think she returned to the UK after being fleeced by her lover. Another one who accepted no responsibility for her appalling behaviour

That might be because courts often order 50/50 now. It is the "starting point". I know a few mums who ended abusive relationships, kids went with them, and then when the dads took them to family court it was ordered 50/50 contact. And also have a relative whose ex was awful and abusive but not physically to her and said he'd take her to court so they now have a 50/50 arrangement as well. All of these women are really unhappy with the 50/50 arrangements but they risk losing even more time if they don't comply as it is contempt of court. My relative just couldn't face family court and it would have likely been 50/50 ordered anyway so she agreed to it in a sort of "pick your battles" way.

Whereas when I was younger the kids I knew with divorced parents they were usually with their mum and saw their dad on a Friday night or something. Sorry am getting sidetracked from the post.

One girl I went to school with "didn't have a mum" and as we got older she shared her mum had walked out. She lived with her dad and his mum.

From what I see from an outside perspective the families I'm referring to seem happy with their arrangements, both parents have good jobs in an affluent area and relationships seem to have ended due to relationships failing rather than abuse etc. all looks very balanced from the outside. No love lost between the parents but massive efforts made to coparent well

Yeah, my MIL. She basically stole loads of money off people they knew and they lived in a tiny village at the time so she pretty much got chased out from what I can piece together.

She left and left the kids with FIL. SIL hates her for it.

She would have DH and his siblings (that would go) in half term. DH didn’t really know what had happened and she led him to believe his dad had an affair. It wasn’t until he was older he learnt what she actually did.

My neighbour growing up. Mum left dad for another man, left 3 children, from memory two were in primary and one high school. The middle child, a daughter, got pregnant at 15 so the dad also raised his granddaughter.

I don’t know the ins and outs of it but they are all very close with their dad as adults (unsurprisingly).