Have you ever known the woman to leave the family home and leave the kids behind? (title edited by MNHQ at request of the OP)

[Iliketocallthemsmilelines]

Or did you leave yourself?

It seems to be very rare, but it surely must happen

I know two people who had their Mum walk out on them.. one when he was 13 and another when she was 11... He is now dead, went down the drug and alcohol route and he never made a meaningful romantic relationship because he trusted no one..and she, who is a lovely person, but attaches herself to people like a limpet to friends or romantic partners alike.

Yes, my mother walked out when I was sixteen and left me alone as an only child with my father.

Yes. My first ever serious boyfriend at 16. His mum left when he was a few days old. His dad raised him single handedly. Mum was an awful person, he saw her about once a year and she was cruel to him on every occasion. I am in contact with him, 40 years on. Nowadays it’s clear that she’s a Narc and probably other things, but mostly just a vile human. I’ve never known anyone else like it.

I could never do that. You divorce your DH not your DC.
I know someone who did that, left 2 children for a man and later on, when they were adults she couldn't understand why they didn't want much of a relationship with her.

A friend of a friend did this. She has the kids every other weekend which is no different to many dads after a relationship breaks down. She has a high powered career working long hours. I can remember being a bit shocked when I heard about it but I don’t know why, if a man did the same then no one would bat an eyelid

I think it says it all that when a man leaves it’s bc he’s stressed, can’t cope, doesn’t like the life he now has and wants to get away and be apart from the family home but still interact with the kids on his terms, and it’s just accepted, but with a woman it has to be MH related for it to be deemed acceptable/ understandable.

My beautiful friend did. Not my story to tell so won’t share further details but trust me when I say, her children may not see it now but what looked “selfish” to an outside perspective was ultimately done (and I agree with) with their long term happiness in mind and was not an easy decision for her to make.

if a a woman gets pregnant (despite using contraception) she can choose to abort or have the child adopted, so she's only likely to keep the baby if she really wants to have it, meaning she is less likely to walk out.

Women get PND and motherhood can be completely different to what they were expecting, especially if they have no support and/ MH issues. They may have really wanted kids but the reality kicked the shit out of them.

My mum walked out on us, 2 girls, 7 and 10 yrs old. She had an affair but told everyone it was my father’s fault.

I used to wonder things like that but found mine in adulthood, we were 3 and 1. She’d remarried after the split, was raising his kids my Dad had told me that while I was in juniors

My brother's ex wife did this. Left him and their kids to live with her affair partner. Married and had kids with him and then did exactly the same.

My husband’s mother left, took his sibling and left him with his Dad; in all honesty it was probably the best thing for him, he’s highly driven, has very successful sports career and is the most wonderful, empathetic man who is the best Dad; his sibling on the other hand, not so much 🤷🏼‍♀️ we try to keep contact as low as possible with her, she’s a malignant Narcissist!

My son never wanted to talk about it. Although one of the times he was in trouble, his case worker came for a chat with him and I went to leave the room but my son asked me to stay. I was in bits when he was asked about support and he said that I was the only one who was always there for him. Another story but he isn't talking to me (been 2 years now) and lives the other end of the country to me. He has 2 children, one I've met twice before she was 2 (shes nearly 8 now) and I've never met his 4 year old boy.Hopefully one day we'll reconnect. I just needed him to do the right thing and move back near his children, which meant me basically not allowing him to live with me up here anymore as I knew he would hardly get to see his children. As it is him and his partner are getting on well and he gets to see his children a lot (my daughter keeps me updated).
My daughter and I are very close, I've actually just had her 9 y.o son here for 3 weeks of the school hols and she facetimes me every single day and has done for about 2 years (since I became ill and had to stop working).We've had chats, not the full story yet, but she sort of gets it. But as I said I can't ask if she forgives me as I'll never forgive myself. But tbh I prob don't believe I deserve being forgiven and I'm ok with that.

My best friend in primary school, her mother left her and her dad. Her grandmother helped her dad raise her, they moved in with her. I remember her granny fondly, she was a lovely lady. Granny seemed ancient to me but she was probably only 60’s at most looking back
I remember one day friends mother came to the school to see her, I think I must have realised how significant it was for her to see her mother because it really stuck in my mind, they called her out of class to see her for probably ten minutes at most.

I’ve known four separate people whose mothers walked out and left them with their fathers. Two uni friends, one of my now-neighbours, and one in my family. I don’t know if that’s because it’s actually more common than you think, or because it’s remarkable enough that any friends whose dads left just haven’t mentioned it that much.

I worry that the one in my family (a teenage boy) will find relationships difficult because he has not seen a healthy, respectful one from his parents. Although it is far better they are apart than together, no matter which is the resident parent, it was very toxic.

Yes happened to one of my best friends (her mum left).

My MIL did. She ran off with a lover. My husband was sent to live with paternal grandparents suddenly without explanation. He was put in a bus by himself in the middle of the night. The grandparents were good people and gave him stability.
MIL took an older brother with her (both brothers were very close so it was wrenching for them), I suspect because older brother was easy-going and my husband’s ADHD was problematic for her. He was aged 10.
she was there with the lover and my husbands older brother for 2 years until she ran out of money and her relationship broke down. I suspect the two happened at the same time as she is lazy and not keen on working.

theres a lot more to the story.., the lover came back into her life recently and it meant my husband had to relive a lot of trauma and lies.

she claimed my FIL held my husband hostage and that she was only gone 3 months, not 2 years. She’s an emotionally manipulative woman

My mum walked out on me aged 2. It’s interesting how people criticise men for abandoning their children, but women are often treated differently from my experience.

With the exception of mental health issues/ domestic abuse I believe both parents should be involved in parenting. I’ve found it very difficult to forgive my mother…

Yes , MIL, SIL (like daughter like mother as they only met up when they found each other after adoption so It must be genetic)
And An old school friend whose mother left them all when they were at primary.

My mum did

The woman my ex husband had an affair with walked out on her two teenage boys. He left me and our three teenagers for her. They both abandoned their kids, behaving like teenagers themselves. Fast forward 15 years, they are married, but neither trust the other. Their relationships with their kids are fragmented at best.

At least this selfish self absorbed pair ended up together, so they didn’t cause more havoc and heartbreak on other decent people.

DP’s mother walked out on yim and his sisters when he was about two, He spent some time in Barnardos but was not thriving so went to live with his grandparents. Then his first wife walkd out on him and his 18 month old son. He is compassionate and lives outwardly a balanced life, but the hurt still haunts him.

Yes, when I was a child in the 90's a women lodged with my Auntie and Uncle who had left her husband.
He was controlling and set traps for her in the middle of the night. He was horrible to her.
I have limited knowledge of what else went on as I was a child.
But she left behind two boys one same age as me approx 12 yo and and older teenager.
Both boys also were abusive towards her.
She had nothing to do with the boys when I was a teenager. No idea if they reconciled.

But I'm pretty sure she had no choice but to leave especially as her children were involved in her abuse.

I sort of did.. Had 3, took youngest, aged 4, left the two teens. Youngest chose to spend a lot of time back there. Gran was good at bribery .
It was a farm, both wanted the space, freedom, animals I could not take to a rented flat.
They came to me off the school bus for tea / dinner after school then I’d run them up to the farm. Middle stayed over one weeknight a week.
They had their grandparents on the farm as well as their father. They could provide more than I…trips abroad, going on shoots, fishing boat, and space for dogs, rabbits, ferrets, pony .No contest . Eldest soon went to sea up by the Arctic Circle on a trawler , earning big money, like £800 to £1000 take home a week aged 17 , in the mid 1990s through his father’s contacts . A lot of money back then

Yes. My mum left. I was 21 and already moved out but she left my three brothers with our dad. She moved in with another man - a friend of my dad's.