Have you ever known the woman to leave the family home and leave the kids behind? (title edited by MNHQ at request of the OP)

[Iliketocallthemsmilelines]

Or did you leave yourself?

It seems to be very rare, but it surely must happen

I literally know more mothers that have just up and left and had nothing to do with their kids than men. Ive know more men to leave the home after a break up but I know 4 women (or know the kids) that have just left and never saw the kods again and only 3 men that has done that.

Im not including men that are weekend dads in this. Its very rare but it does happen.
Also I will point out that one of them mothers left when she found out her 12 year old daughter had cancer.

My sil. She left my brother and their two small dc for an old flame. (Not her first affair either). When it didn't work out she got the dc to beg my brother to let her come back. He did take her back eventually, but she left him again a few years later.

Yes. My ex boyfriend. Married a woman who already had one baby, and they had 5 more. Then when he was at work one day, she packed her bags and left. She even left behind her first-born, who was not even his. If my memory serves me, they were aged something like 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and 5 when she left.

Luckily his mum lived two doors away and looked after them all whilst he was at work.

The police did trace her, found she was well and happy and had no intention of ever returning home. By the time I met him, 8 yrs later, his youngest was 13. And in all that time, she had never once made contact with any of them. Extraordinary.

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I also know a few people who were left by their mums.

The most notable ones were

a friend’s wife who walked out on him and their toddler;the toddler was born with a disability and the wife/mother said having a child with a disability wasn’t what she signed up for.The saddest part is that her own mother left her as a child leaving her with her grandparents to raise.

Another was a relatives NDN up and leaving the kids due to an affair;she had a child by the AP;her oldest kids are mid/early thirties and the younger one is early twenties.

About 40 years ago I was a childminder and the woman who wanted me to care for her children, 2 girls. I knew her as we were both pregnant with our 1st children. When her daughter was born she ended up in the local mental health hospital where she stayed for 6 months. She had wanted a boy and found it hard to bond with her daughter.
When she had her 2nd daughter things deteriorated and the girls were torn between both parent She found herself a flat and left her husband and the children. Devastated the children, especially the youngest, aged 4, husband was a good dad as far as we could tell, wife was a drinker, who showed no interest in her girls.
After a year mum came back as she realised she was going to be denied custody but a year or so later they divorced and dad had full custody. Very sad for all concerned.

I have only heard of it once - my friend and her two siblings were all under 8 when their mum left the family home. They grew up with their dad and after he remarried a few years later, they had a stepmother. She never lived with her mum again. I don't know the details but my friend (now aged 60) still sees her mum, dad and stepmother fairly often (they are all now mid 80s).

DH's ex wife left him with 2 young DC (2 and 6) for another man. She moved an hour away to live with her affair partner and sees the kids EOW still. I've never understood her and gave up trying to once I had my own babies.

My best friends mum did. Left her and her autistic brother with their dad to go be with another man. It’s been about 15 years and she doesn’t have contact with her mum at all.

I know of two siblings that this happened to. They came home from school one day and mum was gone. It was a very big shock as she was a stay at home mum who was very involved. She had ran off with a man she had met on the internet to live in his native country. It transpired that she was sick of her DH having affairs so decided to up and leave. Both siblings were very affected by this in different ways - it must have been devastating to have their mum just disappear. They do have a relationship with mum now as she did make contact after a couple months but she never came back to the UK or offered to take them with her.

My ex and the OW both left their kids behind when their affair was outed.

Dear God…

Yes my aunt left when we were kids. Left her 2 girls at 8 and 12 with my uncle and was never seen again until the girls were adults.
It messed one of then up good that to this day openly blames her mother leaving for her bad behaviour and the other never had kids after what she went though and watching her sister.
No one has anything to do with one of them (including her father and sister) she isolated herself from her family until everyone gave up.

Sad all round. I couldn't do it but it happens.

Edited to add she didn't leave for someone else. I think my uncle would have been hard to live with but she left her girls behind to put up with him.

Happened to my workmate. He has deep rooted abandonment issues.

After saying up-thread that I only knew one example of this, I've just remembered that my cousin's wife had an affair and left the family home, although in her case she did still see the kids. The children stayed with her for a couple of nights each week but their main home remained with their dad. That was over 10 years ago and the kids are now mid-late teens - I don't know what their relationship is like with her now (I live in different country).

My husband’s ex wife walked out and left him with 3 kids

Yes. My mother left when I was doing my GCSEs. Ran off with the man she was having an affair with.

it was horrendous and I think the mental health problems I’ve had since then are down to this, at least in part

This happened to my friend, whose mother left for an affair partner, and to a little girl at nursery who was 2 when her mother left for her affair partner and moved a good 2.5 if not 3 hours away to the other end of London. I felt so sorry for the dad, but a couple of years on he had a new partner who was a lovely woman who acted like a mum to the little girl.

My mum did, left me at 7 and my sister about 4, late 80’s early 90’s. Great full every day to my dad

A school friend of mine up and left her then 7 year old and 11 year old.

The children to this day are shell shocked, whilst all the other children their age have stability with either parents or parent, these children now live with their abusive alcoholic father and a grandmother who’s trying her hardest but age and other factors contribute to a limited capacity role.

Said school friend was in a very abusive relationship and I try not to judge but I would have hoped and prayed she was able to take the children with her.

She lives about 30 miles away now with a new boyfriend and the new boyfriend has two children that she’s involved with, which makes it sting even more for the children she left behind.

My dad's mum did. She left 5 children and took the youngest two. The father was violent and then went on to sexually abuse all the children. He eventually went to prison when my dad told his teachers what was happening.

Yes , I knew one woman who did this .
It was a long time ago .
I’m 50 now , was about 22 at the time .
A neighbour of mine at the time , close friend was having an affair with her husband .
Her “ friend “ was married with 4 children, my neighbour was married with three .
Her friend left her husband & 4 kids, & my neighbours husband left her & his kids & they took off together to another part of the Country.
They lasted a few years & split up , I’ve no idea where any of them are now .
And how anyone can leave their children I will never ever understand..

My mum left when I was 7. I was unaware until after she’d gone. No explanation ever given. I saw her every other weekend but she was usually at work so I’d be at her neighbours/ family/ friends for most of the weekend. She then remarried and had a child. No more weekends for me as the extra bedroom was taken.

Your description strikes a chord for me (see earlier post), as I know my great-great grandmother had no independent means of support and was forced to give the children up and put them in a children's home - and my great-grandmother, who was brought up in a children's home, was in the same situation with her husband holding all the power and all the money. So maybe she had to leave the children behind in his care when she returned to her own country. There was no other choice, if she wanted to get away from him.

Those two children were brought up in a foster home. I don't know how often they might have seen their father.

This thread is fascinating, with some sad and tragic stories, and it's really interesting to hear about all of these situations where the mother left, leaving her children behind.

Yes. I knew a couple where the man was Indian and the lady was white. Everything seemed OK from the outside, but on the day of their daughter's last GCSE exam, she and her younger brother got home to find the mum had moved out and was in a relationship with a woman...