Have you ever known the woman to leave the family home and leave the kids behind? (title edited by MNHQ at request of the OP)

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Or did you leave yourself?

It seems to be very rare, but it surely must happen

My friend did, she was the one who wanted out of the relationship. She went for 50/50 custody though… as she explained to Ex… she left him and the house, but not her children

I did this .
My marriage was bad for the children . My ex H would not leave under any circumstances because he would have been seen as a failure .

In the end we agreed I would leave so that the children could live in peace in their own big comfortable home and continue with their education uninterrupted. I could not provide any of that by myself and my ex H often said he would make sure I was in the gutter if I ever left . I appreciate I had rights but I couldn’t face fighting for them knowing it would put my children through even more . My ex H loves his kids , he just didn’t love me .

Following the split , everything went pretty much as you would expect had a man left the family . I paid child maintence , my children lived with me every other weekend and half the holidays .

It was the only solution I could find that suited 3 out of 4 of us i, because it sure as hell , didn’t suit me .

My children are thriving , my ExH met a woman who he really loved and they are very happy . I reconnected with someone from my past and we are very happy. As blended families goes we also thrive . My DH loves my children and we provide a beautiful home for them . My exH wife treats my children like the children she could never have and I’m grateful to her for that .

But , and it’s a big but , getting to this point where I can say everything seems to have worked out ok took 12 years . It’s not an option for the faint hearted and I do still wonder what the consequences will be further down the line.

I love my children with all my heart , I left because I felt they would be happier without both parents in the family home . I look back and wonder how I found the strength to not live with them every day .

It still feels like a massive sacrifice but I often used to say to myself , when going through hell , just keep going. It really did feel like there was no other way .

I knew a couple who split up they had 3 very young kids one still a baby. He left her with the kids and didn't help at all I think she was struggling to deal with them on her own. He came around and she just left him with the kids. It didn't end well he was alcoholic and the toddler would end up wandering the streets in the middle of the night when he was passed out drunk. They all ended up in care

It can’t be that rare, if this thread is anything to go by.

I know someone who has because her husband is absolutely refusing to leave the marital home and despite how he is to her, he adores the kids ans is good with them and their home set up. She finds it very difficult. She has an apartment nesrby and she is constantly in and out finding it extremely difficult.

My brother’s friend’s wife did. She was a lawyer and the main breadwinner, worked away a lot. She left to be with the man she was having an affair with. I only ever heard his side of the story, and of course she was all the terrible things under the sun. Although he was primary carer for their two kids when they were together, he always had trouble holding down a job, and the jobs he did have were minimum wage, despite him being quite a bright guy. He was always a bit of a waster so I dare say that caused problems in their marriage. She did see the kids regularly, but I’ve no idea how they get on now.

Yeah two, one I don’t think she really wanted children but was trying to make her DH happy, still in contact but lives in another country. The second I think just got fed up of him and his family and has the child on weekends.

Neither left for another man.

Yes. My old boss had an affair with a man she worked with and walked out on her husband and 3 young daughters. It took them til their 20s to forgive her.

I knew of one when my boys were in primary. The dad was the best dad ever and the kids were lovely. I see them as happy adults now but still think of them as poor wee souls because their mother walked out.

You were in a hellish situation though. Could you tell your children how you feel?

My mum did

Yes, my aunt walked out on her 3 children (2,4 and 6) 30 years ago. I suspect drugs and addiction were involved but my parents still refuse to discuss it. The kids tracked her down years later and she refused to acknowledge them. Complex issues and a complete inability to cope with her own life let alone the 3 children she brought into the world.

My mum did this in the 70s. She left us 3 kids aged 8,10 and 12 with our dad and went to live abroad. I didn't see her for many years.

Yes my mum did. I was 18 and my brother was 11. We both knew why she had to do it.

My husbands mum left a DV relationship.and left hwr first child, her family supported the husband (this was back in the 70s) so she ran and started a new life. I dont think she ever had a great relationship with the child she left.

My husbands ex moved to marry somebody and husband told her he wasnt happy with her taking his daughter so far away so she left hwr with him.

One of my friends did. Left her two children behind. She now has a new partner but her children want nothing to do with her. They feel like she abandoned them.

My Mum did. I was definitely the only person I knew 40 years ago whose Mum had left, although tbh I hardly knew anyone whose parents were divorced at all. I was 7. I found it really hard, but I understand that it also wasn’t easy for her. Just a sad situation all round for us, and one that still impacts our relationship to this day, although I love her dearly.

Sorry, I havn’t read all the other responses.

Yes, my great grandmother left my great grandfather and toddler grandmother.

Yes, there's a lot written about the taboo surrounding women who choose to do this vs the men, whether by divorce, separation, suicide, clubbing...whatever. My closest friend from school did this, re conciled with adult kids and husband now. She had an affair with her boss.

And I know someone whose mum did

My nan did.

I know very little about it (i.e. if it was because of domestic violence or an affair) other than she had two young daughters that she left behind with their father. She then went on to have 4 more children with my grandfather. This all came out very late in her life (I believe through a private investigator), and was a great shock to her second set of children. Nan died suddenly a few years ago, so I don't think there was much closure for anyone. Her first children did come to the funeral, but did not attend the wake.

My MiL left her daughter and son (my now husband) when they were young teenagers as she’d been having an affair. It had been going on for a year or so and moved out of the family home and in with the other man only when she was found out. It has created huge problems for my husband who has really suffered over the years as a result.

Yes, a guy at work I dated for a while was a single dad with 100% custody. The mother has barely seen the kids in a decade, and only rings occasionally. It is unusual, but does happen. He is doing a great job with them.

My Grandmother left my Grandfather and their 8 children, the youngest was three, my Mum (who was the eldest) had to leave school at age 12 to help care for them all.

I have experienced this twice through other people. They both don't have much contact with there mums but as they get older they seem to be seeing them more but when they want. Trust is an issue will the person attend functions will they come for visits when they say