Have you ever known the woman to leave the family home and leave the kids behind? (title edited by MNHQ at request of the OP)

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Or did you leave yourself?

It seems to be very rare, but it surely must happen

My grandma abandoned my mum as a newborn at her parents house until she was 7 years old. Then out of nowhere came and picked her up one day and took her away from them. They were distraught. My mum called her granny "Mam" her whole life.

My OH mum left him when he was the same age for another man. His dad and grandparents raised him. He saw his mum sporadically over the years until she died.

In both cases I dont think they wanted to be mothers. I think the babies were accidents and they felt trapped. Both my mum and OH have abandonment issues and are still tormented as to if their mums ever loved them. So very sad.

You have to be living under a rock not to have heard of this happening. My mother did it mid 70s. She turned up recently and doesn't understand why I'll have nothing to do with her - no meets, no reading of letters etc. I don't even know what she looks like.

I know 5.

My aunt left her 2 DC aged 5 and 6 to move in with her affair partner. Affair partner's DW left to move in with her affair partner, leaving their 4 DC behind.My ex uncle moved in his affair partner, along with the DC he'd had with her who was 5 months younger than his youngest DC with his wife. This was in the 80s. Maybe they were all swingers together?!

An acquaintance left her 2 DC aged 10 and 12 and moved in with a boyfriend who wanted his own DC (which she quickly got pregnant with).

A work colleague's mother left her and her sibling aged 6 and 8 with their dad and moved in with her affair partner, 50+ years ago.

A friend's mum left their dad taking the youngest DC, leaving the middle DC, and giving the oldest DC a choice to stay with dad or go with her. It permanently fucked the middle DCs MH that he was the only one she chose to leave.

It's not as unusual as you might think.

Yes my mum

I know someone who did. I don’t judge her though because I know how unhappy she was and it wasn’t possible to bring her child with her (lived abroad). Her child was older though and she still sees her regularly.

Oh yes my boyfriends mother ran off in the 70s with her lover left her daughter aged 16 to look after her 3 younger brothers and their horrible father.
My mother's friend's daughter ran off and left her 4 kids with their nice father . He later married a truly wicked stepmother so mums friend ended up with all the kids

My MIL did and it did untold damage to her children (one of whom is my DH).

Yes. Neighbour left her lovely husband for affair partner .Child was 2 and was brought up by dad and spent holidays with maternal grandparents. Neighbour had 2 children with new partner and treated first son as some kind of unreasonable nuisance she was forced to see because her mother said so.

An acquaintance did when she was 20.

She lived with her boyfriend and 2 year old when she met a rich man from the next county. Four weeks later she’d left her boyfriend and son and moved in with the other man. She’s 60 now and still with the man and has never had any contact with her son.

she was the village beauty and led a nice life up to that point and i think the drudgery of motherhood and joblessness in a run down town got to her. She never worked and I often wonder if she ever thought of her son.

Sadly my friend’s mum did this. We’re in our 40’s now, but at the time my friend was 8, and she had two younger brothers around 6 and 4.

Her mum and dad were fairly young and her mum wanted to be single again, relive her youth. Who knows.

Her dad remarried a nice lady who my friend had a mother/daughter relationship with. There was an attempt at contact between her and her biological mum in her late teens/early 20s, but it fizzled out. The damage was done.

My ex-SIL ran off with her affair partner leaving her kids and dogs but taking the car. She then got pregnant and the affair partner scarpered. To be fair to her, the kids did better with my brother, she saw them regularly while they were growing up and everything turned out ok for everyone!

My mother walked out and left us with my ill prepared father. It was truly shit. We were ostracised at school and by our friends' parents because our other was a bolter.

Most famous example was Diana's mother

I, my best friend, and another good friend all had mothers who left the family home when we were 16. Technically ok I suppose, but still impacts decades later.

All 3 did it in a way that was broadly socially acceptable, and none of them thought that they had done anything wrong or expressed any regret. I think all 3 were just done with parenting ( all 3 of us were the youngest with older siblings.)

Yes two women. Both claimed domestic violence but left the kids with the husband and moved away on their own. One then had more kids with my relative, had 10 in total only saw the last 4 and 2 of the others still had some contact, she never worked and claimed various illnesses. She took an overdose and her youngest daughter found her dead. The kids have done miles better since being in foster care, attend school regularly, unlike before and are well looked after. I find the whole idea unfathomable to walk out the door and not see my kids again, it really fucks them up.

Edit as I've remembered another, my friend ast school, her mum had an affair and left the husband and 3 kids. She had another baby with the new husband. My friend never wanted to talk about it but I know she was deeply, deeply hurt. Her dad always looked shellshocked to me. So sad.

No i dont judge women or men, as i dont know the full story.

I did. He point blank refused to leave and we were both on the tenancy and I couldn't take his behaviour anymore. It was making me ill and I was afraid of my own shadow. My DC refused to come with me (teen) and I was being repeatedly threatened with being reported to the police if I tried to take them, it was the hardest decision I ever made and not one I made lightly. My now adult DC still don't seem to fully comprehend what was happening at home (since diagnosed with SEN) but we ended up 50/50.

My step siblings mum did. I was told she had depression and other mental health issues but my step dad was a controlling abusive dick so suspect that’s not the whole story. I do know one of my step siblings tracked her down when they were an adult and met her but she didn’t keep in touch.

I know of one. She was very (very) young when she had her first child with a much older man. Left him (don’t blame her as I have met him and can imagine it was an unhappy life) moved in with man 2 and had a second child all before the age of 20. Then left both children with man 2 and to my knowledge has not had contact bar a couple of letters. While the children are now adults and have moved on with their lives, I have sympathy for the mother. I don’t believe either pregnancy was planned and I think she found herself in a situation she wasn’t ready for.

This, 100%. I’m highly suspicious of stories of women who ‘ran off’ one day and were never heard from again - or only made contact with their husband and nobody else. This was the story Chris Dawson put around for years, until he was eventually convicted of the murder of his wife on the day she ‘walked out’.

My DH first DW did this
Had an affair and expected DH to move out and AP to live in presumably. He said on your bike and stood his ground offering one last chance to end it go to counselling etc.
She continued the affair and eventually left.
Did EOW once they set up home together and things settled and then went to a night here and there during the week. Went to 50:50 in Covid for practical reasons His son my DSS who was 6/7 adjusted well and they are close but my DSD 3 years older not so well and they still have a troubled relationship as adults.
She went on to have two more children with the AF and they are still together but he won’t marry her, is in and out of work and likes a drink or several…
I actually don’t mind the woman, get on okay. Its been a troubled journey for her and I don’t know if she regrets her choice but she paid a very high price for it.

Once yes. She left 3 girls and they were very young. I completely berated her (privately) but now I think I understand why she did it. I looked at her Facebook profile very recently actually and she is in touch with her daughters.

Yes. A girl DS was friendly with when he was small. Her mum had walked out on her and her Dad when she was 18 months old and moved to Spain. Dad solo parented until she was 7 when he became seriously ill, and maternal grandma stepped in to help. Dad died 8 months later and grandma took sole custody at that point. Mum did return to the UK a couple of years later and made moves to get back in daughter's life but then left again a couple of months later.

DS and girl lost touch at about early secondary age but I did bump into grandma a few years ago when girl and DS would have been 17/18 and no further contact had been made, grandma doesn't even know where mum is now.

Absolutely tragic situation.

Yes my mum did. And then, also, my dad did. They both left us kids at different ages.

My aunt left without a word. Massive shock to my Uncle. Turned out she was having an affair with a man and he was not prepared to live with her unless she cut contact with the children-which she did. Kids did not see her for nearly a decade. Then one day she turned up with a new man and tried to take the kids! "they belong with me their mom and I can give then a new Dad...". My Uncle had to fight through a very hostile court system to keep his kids. All very horrible. Rare though, mostly just the man who buggers off.

The mother of my best friend at school left her and her two younger sisters behind. As a teenager myself at the time I obviously had no real insight into what the father was like, but he seemed a fairly quiet, nice man to me. I could never understand how any woman could leave her three daughters behind, however difficult the circumstances. But my friend forgave her mother, I never did.