Have you ever known the woman to leave the family home and leave the kids behind? (title edited by MNHQ at request of the OP)

[Iliketocallthemsmilelines]

Or did you leave yourself?

It seems to be very rare, but it surely must happen

I know 3 people who have done this and I will never in a million years understand how a mother could do that

Believe me the women I know who did this have very difficult relationships with the kids they left

I know two. The first had a drug problem and mental health issues however she left her children with her abuser (their dad).

The second was just a cold woman, she left her husband and daughter on the day of the daughter’s 10th birthday party. Her (ex) husband is a lovely person and father, she was just having an affair and decided she couldn’t wait any longer to be with him without responsibilities.

I do have a lot of sympathy for the woman in the first case, she was unstable and deeply regretted it when she recovered (in her old age) but the fallout was catastrophic.

It’s just unfathomable to me, I would sooner die than leave my child. It’s unforgivable for either parent imo.

Edit: SPAG.

Fathers do all the time. Why is it so different

It is very common mums not bringing up
their children, but not necessarily because they have done a moonlit flit or met someone else. Often more substance use, undiagnosed learning needs, neglect and an inability to put their children’s needs first /safeguard them from risky adults.

Professionally what I see most the time rather than left Dads on their own with kids, however, is Maternal Nan’s/Aunts with them in their care under Guardianship Orders and such like and Dad/s visiting or ‘helping’ out - some with overnight contact some just visitation.
But that speaks to the demographic I guess of people that are open to Children and Adult Social Care so maybe that’s an answer to a different question than the the OP is asking

Not in my case I had an excellent relationship with my mum until her death.

However I did see her ( pretty much same as many kids see their dads) fairly regularly

Can't really see the big deal

My mum was fantastic. If she had left maybe she would be alive today.

My mum did. She left me and my sister with my dad for her affair partner.

Even after she left, she never really instigated a proper relationship with us. Luckily my dad was an amazing parent, so I feel that I'm not as affected as I could've been. My sister however has had no end of mental health problems due to the abandonment.

I try not to judge my mother - she had a complex issue with her own mum (my nan who I'm NC), and I even have the odd day where I dream of running away, but I could never leave my children, or not be interested in their lives.

It never leaves you though, even after lots of therapy and understanding. 35 years later I mourn having a 'proper' mum who is there for me.

I have tried to break the cycle though, and hopefully my children will agree with that.

My step daughters mum has pretty much abandoned her as well. Ironically, she said the same thing that my mum said when she left - "what will people think of me?" More concerned about their image than the damage they have inflicted on their children.

A friend's step daughter also lives with her full time, so it does happen a lot more than people think.

My mum did in the 70's. Left for her affair partner, The others had left home but as the youngest Kid I was left with dad. She made lots of excuses but at heart, I think she wasn't particularly maternal and saw a way out.

My mum did this in the 80s, left me and my brother in the family home with Dad.

My brothers wife also did it, leaving my DB with their 3 young girls.

Tell your dsis she's a queen. Truly remarkable woman.

I remember a thread on here a couple of years ago from a Sahm to small Dc (4 under 5 I think) who had just caught her H cheating on her with a coworker.
Revolting sappy social media posts from the coworker who seemed to think cheating H was soooo awesome.
H waa also completely dismissive as if having an affair was a non issue. Poor woman was shellshocked and completely tied as she had no help with the children. I was sooooo rooting for her to wait for H to come home at night and just head out the door herself for a couple of weeks. Would have love to see how the father manager to carry on his precious work and piece on the side while caring for his 4 kids.

Yep a neighbour of mine about 30 years ago. She left her husband and two primary aged boys for another man. I remember being so shocked at the time that she didn’t take her boys with her if she wanted to leave.

Im so sorry. That’s very sad.

I think that I know of three women who did this.

One was my grandfather's aunt. She went to a music concert, fell in love with the lead singer, and never went home again. She emigrated to Canada.

The second was my SIL's mother. They got back in touch when she was around 16. From what I've heard, she just isn't the maternal type, and is considered to be flaky when it comes to looking after her grandchildren occasionally.

The third was someone that my mother worked with. She had six children (two by another man). She left with those two, and then the father of the other four found out that they had been put into Care and were up for adoption. He adopted both of them, and brought all six up on his own.

In 1920 my grandmother's mother ran away with another man and left her behind. She was six years old. Her mother and the other man emigrated to Canada. I recently found out through Ancestry that they subsequently had five children together, but my grandmother never knew this. She never got over being abandoned by her mum. In later life, she wrote about it a lot in the creative writing class she attended at her care home. But she was in her seventies when she finally told us that her mum had left her. Until then, she'd told everyone her mum had died when she was a little girl.

My aunt did it, met a man in an msn chatroom and did a runner in the middle of the night, just left a post it on the family computer. My Uncle raised all 3 of the kids until he died. One of them has completely disowned her but 2 of them have/had good relationbships with her.

My mum just sent us off to live with other people. (Dad for one of us and Grandparents for the other) neither of us speak to her but she has her 3rd child and stepdaughter/step grandchildren and isn't really bothered.

Yes several, when my mother moved to SW France she lived in a medium sized village which had 3 single parents- all of whom were men. I was quite shocked , but apparently the normal pattern in france is if there is a divorce the mother leaves and leaves the kids with the Dad, finds someone else and has other children.
Traditionally the children were the property of the father,true in England also up until around 1903- if a mother left she could not take her children if the father objected or she couldn't show enough funds to support them.
So it's a cultural thing, the mother always having the children is not universal.

There's big drama in my suburb at the moment as the local Younique queen who made a big fuss about her perfect Younique life has gone off across the country to be with a new man and is very much putting her children second in this (seeing them here and there, but living 100s of miles from where they go to school and dad is very much the resident parent). I'm afraid there's a lot of judging going on.

Happened to my exH. Some time after we split up (no children), he took lodgers. Started a relationship with one, she got pregnant, and I think they were kinda forced to marry (he was older, she under 20). Strangely, we went to the same postnatal groups together!
They had a second child, then I'm not sure what happened but he was left with the kids. I think she went to her parents in another country - she was in contact wiht the kids, Facetiming them etc.. Soon after, he moved to a different country for work, met & married someone else, and now they have a combined family of 6. They all seem very happy.

Horrendous. What a shit, selfish mum. I'm so sorry. Do you have any contact now? Did she ever apologize??

That's interesting - and shocking! I think that's what happened to Davina McCall (French mum)

When my daughter was born, nearly 40 years ago, one of my neighbours had left her husband and son for another man. She then had a baby with him. The baby was a month older than my daughter so we spent quite a lot of time together.

She felt guilty about her son every day I think and really missed him. They did start to rebuild their relationship.

It was a complicated and sad situation for them all.
Have just realised she (the mum) would be around 80 now.

Didn't Zoe Ball's mum leave her and her dad when she was very young (2 or 3)?

OK I should have been more specific - Separated from my narc ex and stuck living in same house . . . . I moved into a flat down road and we had kids 50/50. Flat was a home for kids as well.

One walked out because she was bored. I don't think there was anyone else involved. Another ran off with her lover.