To want one child-free day where I can do something for me?

[FunPartyIdeas]

I tutor term-time only but have a 6 yo of my own. No pay in school holidays so very limited re holidays and days out.
AIBU to want just one child-free day? Or even afternoon? Or am I being selfish in wanting that little break?

@bloblob
Aw thank you.
I've looked at my local area and they do offer a free scheme - but we don't qualify unfortunately.

@AnonyMumAuDHD The main reason I had my daughter at 39 was because I didn't meet my DH until I was 34!!! 😄

@Hobbitfeet32 I only do drop offs then off to work so it is hard to make new mum friends, especially as I am significantly older than most of them! They are young and don't want to hang around with 45 year old ladies! 😆

Yep, was the same reason many of my older mum friends had theirs between 39-44. You can’t win can you? Find a good ‘un but your both now too old!

@AnonyMumAuDHD Tbf I had my first one in my 20s with a wrong 'un and that was infinitely worse!!! 😆

Can yiur eldest not look after his sister for a few hours or a day?

@BudgetBuster No. His dad would go mad if I asked him to.

Isn’t he an adult? In which case he can make his own decisions, surely?

What age is he? What has his dad got to do with it...

Honestly you'll never have the break you want if you just keep making excuses for every solution offered.

SEN. Eldest is the girl and I am FT carer. She can’t be left alone due to significant MH issues. Someone has to be on call, sadly and it’s unfair to make that her younger brother (also AuDHD). In fact we are getting him into uni accommodation even though he will be less than 10miles away to ensure that he no longer has that burden.

Sorry I was referring to the OP who said she had 2 much older kids.

@BudgetBuster He's 16. Lives with his dad half of the time. His dad would say it's unreasonable childcare and kick off. Not worth the hassle.

He's 16... lives with you half the time... you're his mother... his dad can f the f off.

Clearly you don't want a break as much as you want because you've had more excuses on this thread than anything else tbh.

what is stopping you doing this op?

it seems a perfectly reasonable and entirely achievable thing to do.

DH is free!

What on earth?!? It’s totally normal for 16 year olds to watch their siblings whilst their mum pops out for a walk. And how could he kick off? You don’t live with him!

@OnlyUsername What is DH?

@arethereanyleftatall He would tell his dad when he was back with him. And all hell would break loose. Absolutely not worth the stress.

That would be the lack of choice

I think there must be something else you’re holding back op (like the fact that your dh is disabled for the first 8 hours) because there isn’t any normal reasons at all why you can’t binge watch a tv series in your pjs.

@arethereanyleftatall His disability doesn't mean he can't have her for some of the day. It does mean he can't do a full day when he is bad bad. For me to stay in and binge-watch realistically he would need take her out.

Haven’t RTFT but cannot comprehend why your DH can’t just take her out on a Saturday for the day, so you can do your own thing? What’s wrong with him?

My DH has our Toddler for one and a half days a week, every week, entirely alone so I can work and we can save nursery costs, has done since he was 10 months old. On the one day a week we’re both off we usually spend it as a family but every so often one of us goes and does something for ourself.

@CheeseWisely He has a limiting spinal condition.

The finances also don’t stack up.

you earn £32ph term time only. Let’s say 9-4, 5 days a week, 39 weeks a year. That’s a ££44k a year salary.

Your dh also earns a full time wage. That’s at least £25k a year, that’s the lowest it can be.

after tax that’s combined £57k a year, or loosely £5k a month. Your rent is £1500. You can’t afford a holiday. You don’t have any childcare costs. You don’t have any hobbies. So where is that £3500 a month going?

@arethereanyleftatall My salary is nowhere near that!!!!