AIBU to feel uncomfortable after builder helped himself to fridge drinks?

[Furrypaws18]

So we have builders in, everyday I give them pop, biscuits- on hot days lollies and a bacon butty on a Friday. They have toilet access/tea/coffee facilities readily available . I have purposely avoided access to my fridge so everything is out separately.
After thinking we were going through lots of drinks/snacks etc my husband decided to install a camera, to find the assistant looking through fridge and taking 2 cans for the journey home, so we think it’s been a habit. It felt like a violation. Problem is the job is otherwise going quite well, the gaffer is very respectful of the house and toilet etc but feel a bit like a soft touch now.
Boss 99% has no idea because it’s always been after he’s left. Don’t want to sour the job/their relationship etc but want him to know it wasn’t acceptable without a big showdown. Would also like to use them again, but the trust is tarnished. It’s only been drinks/food I think but still feels like a liberty. Am I being dramatic, have I given the impression it was ok? 🤔

How about saying to the boss "I saw on the camera that the guys have been taking drinks home, can you let me know their favourites so I can get the right ones in?"

He'll tell them to stop.

That would annoy me but as they are good otherwise I wouldn’t want to lose them over a few cans. I would just remove them out of the fridge and put back after they leave, or put them inside a bag in the fridge with a big label that has ur name on it, I think I’d opt to leave it out as these cheeky beggars will prob still go in the bag regardless

Did you actually bother to read the thread. The OP left out a lot more than 'some cans'.

Why would they assume it's Okay? If someone gives you a cup of tea, would you assume you had access to someone's fridge if they offered you a cup of tea? I'd just put a post it on the fridge saying "please don't help yourself to this without asking" or similar. They will think you've worked out that the cans are going missing or just say "smile, you're on camera".

I’d put a sign in the fridge to designate their drinks. I’d probably pretend it was for the family: ‘Dear family- please leave these 2 drinks for the builders, the others are for you’

Honestly if this was the worst issue I had with builders I’d let this one go and just stock up on more pop.

On the surface this is not acceptable. However I think there may be the potential for some miscommunication. If you are bringing pop out and saying ‘help yourself’ then I can see how a junior assistant could assume it’s also okay to go to find more in the fridge. Most people who are socially aware wouldn’t but an inexperienced assistant might mistakenly think it’s okay. Could you have a word with the assistant? A sign could look odd to the other people who are not helping themselves to drinks etc.

I haven't read all the replies although wanted to add imo give the guys a break. They helped themselves to what they deemed to be your generosity. I would have left more the next day.

omg the OP has done this!! She has provided loads!! Can’t you read?

What 😂

😂😂😂

Just buy some supermarket own brand cheap cans and keep the nice ones hidden at the bottom in the drawer or something….

If this lad seems generally like a nice person, I would expect he is just confused about what he is and isn't allowed to take. I would be slightly confused too. I honestly don't mean this to sound critical - you have been generous to an extent that is probably quite unprecedented in his experience I think - why are you buying expensive branded drinks for these guys that you can't afford to give your own family? If he has noticed this he is probably quite taken aback (as am I).

Cooking sandwiches for them is also well beyond what I imagine they usually encounter. And therefore he may assume that, given your generosity with the expensive drinks, sandwiches etc, you don't mind him grabbing a couple of drinks from the fridge?

I never before came across anyone who felt that accessing their fridge felt like a violation. Your feelings are your feelings - not saying they are wrong - just that it's perhaps not typical to feel like this? Personally I would find it tiring and expensive to keep an ice bucket topped up with ice all day and would prefer just to use the fridge for their drinks, but each to their own. You are perfectly entitled to ask them not to go in your fridge, or anywhere else you want to keep private.

So just tell him? I expect he just didn't understand the set up. I don't think this has to be a big deal or involve notes on the fridge or anything....

Anyway, more importantly, I assume you mentioned the cameras, so he must know he is being filmed? It's not OK to film people without their knowledge - that is very violating - but I assume you haven't done this.

If you have, I think you can expect the builders to be really upset. If I was working somewhere and found I was being filmed without my consent and knowledge that would be a huge problem for me. In fact, I am not entirely clear on this, but I have a feeling that as this is an on-going contract you are legally expected to inform them of the presence of cameras. The AI I just consulted on the topic suggested that they have the right to refuse to work, walk off the job and demand payment for their time if they spot an unnanounced camera.....

We've had lots of work done on our house and I've always provided tea, coffee, cold drinks, biscuits and I bake cakes for them every few days and once a week I make them bacon/sausage & egg sandwiches.

What I've found from this is that it depends on the people you have in.

A lot of people see niceness as weakness and will take advantage.

We had a few like that, but we also had some that were really appreciative.

We had one of the appreciative ones back for some other work, maybe four years later, and he was still talking about the lemon drizzle cake I'd made for him previously. 😂

@Furrypaws18 YANBU, though. I would not appreciate them helping themselves to the family fridge, especially as you've already provided them with a cooler full of cold drinks every day, plus all the other bits.

I think a lot of ppl are missing the fact that you are already providing multiple 2l bottles of branded soft drinks for them every day, which is kept in a big cooler filled with ice and the drinks, and which they can help themselves to, as well as tea, coffee and bacon sandwiches

You have no issues with this, but rightly aren't comfortable with this guy going into your personal fridge in an area of the house he doesn't need to be in in order to help himself to several cans of pop, plus other things for his journey home.

I do the same in that I set up a little table area with a small fridge, mugs, glasses, plates, spoons, kettle, tea, coffee, milk, squash, water, biscuits, and homemade cake, etc, and let them know that they can help themselves to these, but I'd take a dim view of someone then going into my kitchen to help themselves from my family fridge.

Next time install a small bar fridge and stock it with water, pop etc and a sign asking workers to please inform you when the water runs out.

On hot days workers could put their own lunch and drinks in the fridge.
It is a hot season.

@Furrypaws18 or just don't have them in there.
I think you put unclear boundaries and as for the camera evidence ffs it's hardly the family jewels.

After the boss has gone or when he is not around - go out and politely say “guys I just wondered if you’d been having any of the drinks from the fridge?”

If they say no, clearly they know they shouldn’t have been in, but will know not to do it again when you say “ah ok, no problem. We must be getting through the cans quicker than normal.”

If they say yes, then “ah ok. If possible please can you not access the fridge and use what’s on the side? If you want a cold drink squash or water on the side to help yourself too.”

This doesn’t need to be a big deal. I think a misunderstanding as you’ve told them tk help themselves.

That’s crazy. My brother runs a building company, he prefers if staff don’t take anything from the client. They are supplied with insulated mugs for their own drinks. They’ve a kettle in every van with tea and coffee supplies. It’s spoils the job if the workers are greedy. They leave site for lunch so they have no need to expect a sandwich.
The sneaky camera is crazy too. Tell them there is live cameras and you forgot to mention them earlier.

Absolutely this, I think a few cans are worth the peace of mind. The weather is also very hot, it feels so refreshing to get a cold drink at the end of a hard day (& I just wfh!). Just replace them, there are lots of offers on at the moment.

Doesn't anyone drink water these days? We keep a bottle of tap water in the fridge for hot days, but that is about as good as it gets.

I agree.

You sound lovely OP and very generous and thoughtful. YANBU to feel uncomfortable about them taking things straight from your fridge. That is plain rude.

However, because of the many snacks and drinks you give out, they’re obviously getting an inch and taking a mile, they’ll think you either A) won’t notice or B) won’t care. They’re taking advantage of your kindness. And grown ass men are more than capable of bringing a packed lunch from home and a large cool flask/cool cup for water or juice.

Set up a cooler for them. Don't whine about a couple of drinks.

They work incredibly hard. Far, far, harder than you ever have at your desk. If you treat them like they are scum they will work to rule. Treat them like they're people and get the best from them.