Butt on display at lunch in south of France

[flipperfizz]

I am currently having lunch in a beach restaurant and a girl with a lovely toned body is wearing a tiny thong with full ass on display. This seems to be a fashion thing and there are lots of women wearing the same cheese cutter! People are staring and some women are laughing. I find it a horrible trend and I am wondering what others think.

See also, harmful or uncomfortable sexual behaviours being normalised, and young people increasingly being groomed into thinking that they're normal, expected, and fun - deep throat, strangulation, anal sex, etc. All of which were done infrequently or within niche communities, in the past before porn.

But try to point out that normalising these things as a standard part of the sexual menu, and not something niche and often dangerous, is harmful to society (especially girls and young women) and you'll be leapt on as a sex-hating prude 🙄

Sorry, but if someone wears inappropriate clothing then they must expect to be judged, or even laughed at. I normally couldn't care less what people wear, but a thong in a restaurant - beach or not - is inappropriate and unless this young woman was a pre-teen then she would be aware of that.

Paris is famous for the Mooner Lisa

“The only reason to get your entire bum out is to show off your bum.”

Surely if you’re at the beach the reason to ‘get your bum out’ would be to get a sun tan on it?

Well in this context at the beach I would suggest the purpose is to get a sun tan? Or am I being over simplistic in my thinking?

But what do you think the consequence of this would be? You contract an infection of some kind?
or is it just the thought of it?

Is that what you’d tell your kids @SquirrelGG ?

if someone wears inappropriate clothing then they must expect to be judged, or even laughed at.

It genuinely saddens me to think that so many of those saying that they would “hard” judge this person are probably parents.

If my child pointed out this woman (not that they would as they have raised not to ever comment on what others choose to wear, let alone “judge”) , my response would be “each to their own, we are on the beach after all!”

So when im on holiday and wesring a thing bikini bottom its really all relatrd to porn, your mistaken, its choice and yes this is the year 2026 not 1926

Whats bonkers to me is everyone is entitled to their opinion but if you dont think a thing bikini on the beach/in a beach cafe is a big deal then you are anti feminist and support the sexualising of women - welllllll thats a hell of a leap! Its beach wear, she wants to get a tan and popped to the beach cafe. Grown arsed women saying she deserves to be mocked and laughed at for dressing that way however - thats whats really grim.

Agree, dont agree, thats fine. Laughing at someone for dressing differently to you - not cool.

Choices are made in a social context, not in a vacuum. Your choice (all of our choices) are driven by social norms. In this case, the social norm is the objectification of women, a standard which many women inevitably internalise. There’s a reason why it’s normalised for women to wear much more revealing clothing than men, even though many of those women won’t be consciously thinking of that decision in these terms - because we live in patriarchy where women are excessively sexualised and have this sexualisation presented back to them as a form of empowerment.

The ‘it’s not 1926’ comment exemplifies this misconception about empowerment, as if women’s greater freedoms to display their bodies equates to a significant or linear improvement in gender equality over the last century. The reality is much more complex, and while prudery about bodies is not a good thing, prudery is a different thing from uniquely gendered expectations about physical display and the packaging of the female body for the male gaze.

This isn’t a criticism but a critique (see my previous post) and I say this as someone who has also internalised these standards and sometimes worn revealing clothing.

I don't know why anyone would want to tan at all, given skin cancer, and how dreadfully sun exposure weathers and ages the skin, or why they'd want to tan a specific body part that only they and one other person would see, but sure? I guess tanning could be a reason?

Oh dear. What a dreadfully persuasive argument

All the worthy sermons about the patriarchy and porn are of course valid and I agree to some degree.

The point is many spoilt their arguments by sniggering about 'poo smudges' 'anal splicing' and many more such sneers,

So yes let's all agree dress should be appropriate for a setting but do try to leave out the mockery and derogatory comments about young women because that makes you sound like misogynists not feminists.

There was a video in my TT feed just the other day where a British mum recorded herself ranting at 'jealous and middle aged' women for judging her daughter for wearing a thong.

They were at a resort in Spain and the teenage daughter was wearing a thong around the pool. It seems this caused looks and commentary that resulted in a video being made that accused older women of being bitter and jealous.

I am mostly indifferent about what people choose to wear on their holiday. But I did find the ire of this woman misplaced and littered with misogyny. A beach club in Mykonos is one thing, a pool in a resort full of families entirely another..

Thongs are all about showing off though. The very nature of one being worn as outerwear is to attract attention.

'But try to point out that normalising these things as a standard part of the sexual menu, and not something niche and often dangerous, is harmful to society (especially girls and young women) and you'll be leapt on as a sex-hating prude'

Not one person has said that. Just choose your words carefully. You don't mock young women, we'll you shouldn't but here we are.

“I guess tanning could be a reason?”

Well on the beach that would seem to be the entirely logical conclusion wouldn’t it?
As for skin damage, that of course is an entirely different and unrelated topic. Personally DP and I don’t like going home from holidays with tan lines. It’s not about who sees those bits, I just prefer a uniform colour.

I think you’ll find this is a very specific thing we’re relating to porn,

I know? It was a tangential aside on a related subject, picking up on something @Calliopespa said. I didn't accuse anyone on this thread of doing it.

I'll choose my words as carefully as I ever do, thanks. Are you trying to imply I've mocked young women with my posts? I'm not sure how your last sentence applies, otherwise, but I have not, in fact, mocked any women – young or otherwise – for showing their bums.

As someone who doesn't tan, and wouldn't if I could as I live in a country where skin cancer will get you in five minutes flat if you let it, tanning is genuinely something that doesn't occur to me and is terribly unhealthy.

But if you wanted to, you could just hoick your pants into your bum crack for the twenty minutes you're laying out, or whatever people do. No real need to wear a thong.

Yes, exactly. I think we’ve lost the ability to question what is becoming normalised without immediately being labelled prudish or anti-feminist. My original post was really about the context and the setting rather than telling an individual woman what she should wear.

In light of your repeated remarks on the subject please could I also request an end to the ‘worthy sermons’ about ‘mocking young women’, which is very largely in your imagination. None of my posts do that, and I’ve seen very few which do.

But - since you’ve raised the point - why shouldn’t young women be mocked, along with the rest of us? Someone on here had a bit of a mock at 50 year old women…are they exempt too?

No-one is exempt from mockery if they do something which amuses other people - that’s the human condition, like it or not.

“But if you wanted to, you could just hoick your pants into your bum crack for the twenty minutes you're laying out, or whatever people do.”

Well no, because you’d still have tan lines then wouldn’t you?

What’s wrong with it? This is normal IME.

Gracious. You just want to get every inch, don't you? I can't imagine (given as I don't tan). Genuinely, though I hope you'll make sure to get mole maps done over the years.