Stepchild wants to see finances and money spent on his stepsiblings.

[Greenhairedmonstor]

My late FiL who I never met, left school at 15, fell into the right crowd while he was doing a labouring job and ended up with a little empire.

There is something in place that is not quite a trust. It allows SiL to choose to live frugally without working, and has enabled my husband and his brothers an income which supplements their incomes.

Their children will benefit after their parents’ deaths when whatever is in place will be dissolved.

My husband has his own business as well.

My stepchild is 18 and will go to university next month. I also have another stepchild who is 13.

The eldest has asked that now that they are an adult that they want to look at my husband’s finances. Essentially they want an account of any money that is spent on my children and they wanted my husband’s estate to be reimbursed from my share of the house when he dies.

Now Mumsnet always asks, no I was not the other woman, my ex meets more than his share of his financial responsibilities and I also work and rent out a house that I own in my home country that I will eventually return to. Husband’s ex is comfortable and I don’t believe this has come from her.

Inevitably my husband subsidises our life.

This has been a bitter blow to my husband and he doesn’t see how his relationship with his child(ren) will recover.

I haven't even told my own kids about my will, nor do I intend to. It's nothing to do with them at this stage while I'm alive. Having said that they are respectful enough not to ask.

Please buy the SC the book "The Richest Man in Babylon" for his birthday, the entitled little pr*ck.

Is s/he legally entitled to that information?
If yes, give it.
if no, tell him/her to jog on.
Are there restrictions on what the money can be spent on? If not then again, s/he can jog on.

It isn't his/her money. If there is anything left after the beneficiaries die, then a portion of it becomes his/hers.

Maybe it needs spelling out so they stop thinking it's their money.

If I was your husband I would write him out of the will.

There’s way more to this than the OP is letting on!
id be interested to hear the other side!

No way, cheeky git.

That’s how I’m reading it too…

Has there been any large purchases benefitting your children that might have rocked the boat?

The absolute definition of a person who needs knocking down a few pegs.

If my own 18 year old son made a request like that, I’d laugh in his face (or something less polite!).

However I am curious as to what you think the underlying reason for his request is. Could he have the impression that your children get treated more favourably than he does? Do they get more holidays, live a more lavish lifestyle? Rightly or wrongly, something is breeding resentment here I think?

How old are your children, OP? How long have you been together? Do you have any joint children?

True, sounds like they don't along very well to start with.

So do they have to wait for all the siblings to die? Or does a quarter get dissolved when each sibling passes?

Any assets generated from their grandfather is theirs.

My husband is really upset and thinks this is the end of their relationship and it will affect his relationship with his younger child as well.

I am tempted to talk to them generally that while my lifestyle for want of a better word, is subsidised like most married couples I also am not without resources and my children have a father.

Your DH needs to be firm and tell DS to jog on. But first find out how this request came about. He's going to university, so potentially getting into a lot of debt.

This is very hard to comment on without detail of the Trust and what the legal entitlements of children/grandchildren are. For those saying it is grabby well yes but so is the father living off the Trust. It would be different morally if it were the son asking the grandfather as the grandfather earned the money. However the moral argument is two people (son and grandson) both arguing over inherited money.

So your husband's share of the income is his to do what he wants with until he dies (and his siblings die) and then it goes to the next generation. The step children have no right to any of it till then and their father can leave his own money and assets any way he wants, which wouldn't be the one causing all the trouble at the minute. He has absolutely no right to see his father's finances or make any demands about them.

Yup never as clear as it seems if this is the case then the grandson has every right.

The grandson/SS hasn't inherited anything.

Their father has inherited.

What is left over when all the siblings are dead will be divided up and at that stage the grandson/SS will inherit their portion.

Grabby isn't living off a trust, grabby is thinking you're entitled to it, when you're not.

What a jumped up little prick your stepson is 🤣🤣🤣

In DH's place I would not say fuck off but I would take him out for a drink and explain he is way out of order questioning his dad like this. 18 is very young and goes with some idiotic behaviour.

If your DH isn't doing anything that depletes the assets, then surely whatever he spends does not affect his son's' inheritance?

Has your DH mentioned this move by his sub, to his siblings (the others benefiting from the current income) to get a sense check from them?

Absolutely do not do that! He has no right to your justification or explanation. I wouldn’t engage at all.

If the son asked to see the finances and his dad said no why is it at the ending the relationship stage? That sounds very dramatic and unnecessary.

I imagine it would be impossible to tell which money your dh is spending on what. Given that your SIL is using the money to fund her life without working, your dh could take the same approach to his finances, with his trust money paying for HIS essentials (contribution to mortgage, share of household bills, food, his car, clothes, phone etc.

So there's money from your income, and money from his trust going towards household bills.

Then anything else that is a luxury (a bigger share of the mortgage, holidays) or any money spent on your children is accounted for as coming from his own personal business earnings. Totally his choice how to spend his work income. Nothing to do with your dss.

Was there no precursor to this? How is the relationship normally? He feels that his dad is spending lots of 'his' family's money on your child and feels that should be reimbursed? It would amaze me if this has come out of nowhere.

I don’t think this is the case. Potentially the grandchildren have inherited with the children having a lifetime interest. Very different scenario.