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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask a driving question?

145 replies

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 10:04

If I passed you when driving (passing each other going opposite ways) and I flashed my headlights at you and made a thumbs down sign, would you understand what I mean?

Context- I thought this was well-known, DP has never heard of it, so we're wondering if it's local to my area.

OP posts:
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6
FunPreventionOfficer · 11/08/2026 15:20

Mischance · 11/08/2026 11:31

Exactly!

The signal is not the rider telling the following car to slow down, but the rider indicating that they themself intend to slow down/stop.

If *HangryBrickShark *thinks she is telling the driver behind her to slow down it is no wonder that there have been near misses.

An indication that you plan to slow down or stop is an invitation to pass.

Unless you are riding a horse, then as @HangryBrickShark has said quite rightly it’s an indication telling the driver to slow down.
Even my 80 year old mother knows that.

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Mischance · 11/08/2026 16:19

FunPreventionOfficer · 11/08/2026 15:20

Unless you are riding a horse, then as @HangryBrickShark has said quite rightly it’s an indication telling the driver to slow down.
Even my 80 year old mother knows that.

If you look in the Highway Code it is an indication saying that YOU, the rider, plan to slow down or stop.

The information on the above video is quite simply WRONG!

There is no signal for any road user to tell another road user to slow down ..... driver. cyclist, motorcyclist, horse rider whatever - none of these have a signal to tell anyone else to slow down.

These ambiguities and misunderstandings can cause accidents.

luckylavender · 11/08/2026 16:35

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 10:14

Super quick replies!

Yes, to me the flash means "hazard" or "you've left your lights off/full beams on" but the flash with a thumbs down means "police speed trap"

DP had never heard of it and now has to do a speed awareness course!

that's because he was speeding not because he didn't know some obscure hand gesture

Seeline · 11/08/2026 17:57

FunPreventionOfficer · 11/08/2026 15:20

Unless you are riding a horse, then as @HangryBrickShark has said quite rightly it’s an indication telling the driver to slow down.
Even my 80 year old mother knows that.

Wrong.
The HC clearly states that the hand signals are the same for motorists, cyclists and horse riders.
It also clearly states that the hand signals should not be used for any other purpose.
Attached is the HC instruction

To ask a driving question?
Mischance · 11/08/2026 20:22

Seeline · 11/08/2026 17:57

Wrong.
The HC clearly states that the hand signals are the same for motorists, cyclists and horse riders.
It also clearly states that the hand signals should not be used for any other purpose.
Attached is the HC instruction

Indeed so. FunPreventionOfficer's mum is wrong!

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 11/08/2026 20:29

I drove into London for the first time in a long time and I loved all the 20 mph roads.

It made driving so much easier especially as I didn't have to keep changing from 20 to 30.

goingtotown · 11/08/2026 21:02

It’s illegal to flash drivers to warn them there’s a police speed trap ahead.

FunPreventionOfficer · 11/08/2026 21:05

Mischance · 11/08/2026 20:22

Indeed so. FunPreventionOfficer's mum is wrong!

😂😂😂

FunPreventionOfficer · 12/08/2026 15:46

Mischance · 11/08/2026 20:22

Indeed so. FunPreventionOfficer's mum is wrong!

I saw my friend today who’s a police sergeant and he says that my mum is right. However….
That said, if you look online there are a few articles related to the ambiguity of The Highway Code in that it refers to horse riders hand signals but doesn’t specify them which makes it confusing due to the only description is for vehicles slowing using the hand signal referred to. So it is completely understandable why we’re disagreeing because the HC needs clarity. Safe to say that as long as all drivers proceed slowly giving as much room as possible when passing horses hand signals won’t be required. 🐴👍

alexdgr8 · 12/08/2026 15:54

Why would you want to align yourself with people who are anti police ?
I don't and I've never seen this sign nor would understand it.
I might think it was a negative comment my driving. At a stretch.
I would never warn anyone of a speed camera.
But I would if there was an unexpected hazard or obstruction on the road.

Mischance · 12/08/2026 18:24

FunPreventionOfficer · 12/08/2026 15:46

I saw my friend today who’s a police sergeant and he says that my mum is right. However….
That said, if you look online there are a few articles related to the ambiguity of The Highway Code in that it refers to horse riders hand signals but doesn’t specify them which makes it confusing due to the only description is for vehicles slowing using the hand signal referred to. So it is completely understandable why we’re disagreeing because the HC needs clarity. Safe to say that as long as all drivers proceed slowly giving as much room as possible when passing horses hand signals won’t be required. 🐴👍

Can he tell us where this appears in the Highway Code?
Everything in the code is about letting others know what you are doing. There is nothing about telling others what they should do.
I would be very interested to know what he says.

Maray1967 · 12/08/2026 18:44

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 11:21

Gosh I forgot that noone on MN has ever driven a mile over the speed limit. I'm so glad there are so many perfect drivers on here.

Come on,people don’t get caught doing one mile over.

Shade17 · 12/08/2026 19:00

FunPreventionOfficer · 12/08/2026 15:46

I saw my friend today who’s a police sergeant and he says that my mum is right. However….
That said, if you look online there are a few articles related to the ambiguity of The Highway Code in that it refers to horse riders hand signals but doesn’t specify them which makes it confusing due to the only description is for vehicles slowing using the hand signal referred to. So it is completely understandable why we’re disagreeing because the HC needs clarity. Safe to say that as long as all drivers proceed slowly giving as much room as possible when passing horses hand signals won’t be required. 🐴👍

The arm signals are very clearly laid out in the HC. This police officer has no idea what he’s talking about.

Seeline · 12/08/2026 19:41

FunPreventionOfficer · 12/08/2026 15:46

I saw my friend today who’s a police sergeant and he says that my mum is right. However….
That said, if you look online there are a few articles related to the ambiguity of The Highway Code in that it refers to horse riders hand signals but doesn’t specify them which makes it confusing due to the only description is for vehicles slowing using the hand signal referred to. So it is completely understandable why we’re disagreeing because the HC needs clarity. Safe to say that as long as all drivers proceed slowly giving as much room as possible when passing horses hand signals won’t be required. 🐴👍

The HC specifically says that the hand signals are for horse riders as well as cyclists.
Nowhere does it say that ordinary civilians can make hand signals to tell others what to do.
And it would be totally ridiculous to have the same signal mean two different things.
I think your policeman friend needs to do some training!

Seeline · 12/08/2026 19:44

From the HC:

To ask a driving question?
SquashPenguin · 12/08/2026 20:31

I’d assume there was a speed camera up ahead. I tend to flash my lights and people get the message without the thumbs down though.

FunPreventionOfficer · 12/08/2026 21:32

Seeline · 12/08/2026 19:41

The HC specifically says that the hand signals are for horse riders as well as cyclists.
Nowhere does it say that ordinary civilians can make hand signals to tell others what to do.
And it would be totally ridiculous to have the same signal mean two different things.
I think your policeman friend needs to do some training!

I have explained that the HC is not clear regarding this issue here’s the part of the code and a petition to update it for more clarity. You can disagree with me on here as much as you like I just hope that everyone passes horses slowly and at a distance.

To ask a driving question?
To ask a driving question?
Shade17 · 13/08/2026 18:40

The HC may not be clear in suggesting what signal to use to ask drivers to slow down but it is crystal clear that the waved arm up and down means “I am slowing down”.

FunPreventionOfficer · 13/08/2026 21:18

HangryBrickShark · 13/08/2026 18:00

The fact that we’ve both shared articles regarding the request for clarification from the riding community appears to be irrelevant. Some people can’t bear to admit that we could be correct.

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