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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask a driving question?

145 replies

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 10:04

If I passed you when driving (passing each other going opposite ways) and I flashed my headlights at you and made a thumbs down sign, would you understand what I mean?

Context- I thought this was well-known, DP has never heard of it, so we're wondering if it's local to my area.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Fifthtimelucky · 09/08/2026 10:27

I’ve been driving for 40 years and had never heard of this. Nor have I ever seen anyone flash and give a thumbs down sign.

In my experience a flash usually means that someone is letting you out. I know that it’s not supposed to be used for that purpose so if someone flashes at me I use my judgement to work out whether they are letting me out or warning me about something. It’s usually pretty obvious, but I err on the side of caution!

HelpMeGetThrough · 09/08/2026 10:27

Never heard of it. To be honest your hand gesture would be met with a different one from me.

TheEasterBunny3 · 09/08/2026 10:32

Speed trap is what he means to me

SALaw · 09/08/2026 10:32

theneighboureatmysalad · 09/08/2026 10:20

why on earth would you warn people of police presence ahead?

Yes and with a “thumbs down” gesture. Like “bad news, you can’t speed up ahead”?!

FiveShelties · 09/08/2026 10:39

Police speed check ahead would be my understanding. I cannot remember a time when it was not used and have been driving for around 50 years. Bloody hell 50 years 😂

DancingFerret · 09/08/2026 10:40

Speed trap warning - and I think there have been instances of people being prosecuted for doing it; the offence is wilfully obstructing police from doing their duty (paraphrased).

Jackiepumpkinhead · 09/08/2026 10:42

Never heard of this, and you’re breaking the law.

Blackbird2409 · 09/08/2026 10:46

Yep Police ahead 👌🤣 I do the same 🙂

Mischance · 09/08/2026 11:11

Blackbird2409 · 09/08/2026 10:46

Yep Police ahead 👌🤣 I do the same 🙂

Edited

Tee hee - what a joke.

I spent 10 years working on a trauma unit - no joking here ....

Catza · 09/08/2026 11:11

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 10:14

Super quick replies!

Yes, to me the flash means "hazard" or "you've left your lights off/full beams on" but the flash with a thumbs down means "police speed trap"

DP had never heard of it and now has to do a speed awareness course!

Speed awareness course seems like a great idea. The hand gestures are irrelevant, he should have been observing the road signs.
Why would I warn someone of the police car? My taxes fund the police to do their job. Seems utterly silly to rob myself of the service I pay for.

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 11:21

Gosh I forgot that noone on MN has ever driven a mile over the speed limit. I'm so glad there are so many perfect drivers on here.

OP posts:
BacksToTheFuture · 09/08/2026 11:28

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 11:21

Gosh I forgot that noone on MN has ever driven a mile over the speed limit. I'm so glad there are so many perfect drivers on here.

Are you being sarcastic? It is a good thing that so many drivers don't speed.

I've never heard of that gesture, flashing lights has different meanings and clearly anything to do with thumbs isn't universally known so not sure who useful it is anyway

OhHobnobs · 09/08/2026 11:28

Zippidydoodah · 09/08/2026 10:04

I’d check if I’d left my full beam on by accident and if I hadn’t, I’d probably think “what the fuck; fuck off!”

Edited

Yup this.

I've no idea what the thumbs down means in this context.

Yetone · 09/08/2026 11:36

I am just trying to work out how I can flash and make a thumbs down sign at the same time while still managing to steer.
Sorry but I would warn other drivers unless they were driving more than 10 miles over the speed limit.

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 09/08/2026 11:37

Yetone · 09/08/2026 11:36

I am just trying to work out how I can flash and make a thumbs down sign at the same time while still managing to steer.
Sorry but I would warn other drivers unless they were driving more than 10 miles over the speed limit.

Can you not flash while holding the steering wheel? Then you would do the thumbs down with the other hand.

DrFoxtrot · 09/08/2026 11:42

I’ve only ever seen other drivers warn with a hand signal with the hand going up and down like you would naturally do for a ‘slow down’ motion. Never seen a thumbs down and wouldn’t know what it meant. I’d assume you were calling me a knob or something.

SALaw · 09/08/2026 11:51

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 11:21

Gosh I forgot that noone on MN has ever driven a mile over the speed limit. I'm so glad there are so many perfect drivers on here.

They do but probably the majority don’t drive significantly over and would like those that do punished. Warning them prevents that.

Yetone · 09/08/2026 11:53

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 09/08/2026 11:37

Can you not flash while holding the steering wheel? Then you would do the thumbs down with the other hand.

Perhaps because I have driven an automatic for many years, I always have one hand at least for nothing other than the steering wheel.

Mooselander · 09/08/2026 11:54

Jackiepumpkinhead · 09/08/2026 10:42

Never heard of this, and you’re breaking the law.

This.

Morethanadecade · 09/08/2026 11:57

Never heard of this. I’d have no idea what it meant.

AmIrightAmIright · 09/08/2026 12:01

I'd have no idea what this meant.

ShowOfHands · 09/08/2026 12:04

I would guess from the thumbs down that you're one of the wazzocks warning people about the police legitimately doing their job. Your dp isn't doing a speed awareness course because he doesn't know a gesture, he's doing it because he can't drive his car within the law.

Round here, the main gesture used - very helpfully - is an arm out the window, palm down and moving down to indicate speed reduction. Rural Norfolk so there are very often animals in the road round blind bends, plus horse riders and slow-moving agricultural vehicles.

HelpMeGetThrough · 09/08/2026 12:06

Yetone · 09/08/2026 11:36

I am just trying to work out how I can flash and make a thumbs down sign at the same time while still managing to steer.
Sorry but I would warn other drivers unless they were driving more than 10 miles over the speed limit.

Surely you can pull the stalk behind the wheel and keep your hand on the wheel at the same time? No different to going from dipped to full beam.

Davros · 09/08/2026 12:07

I would think it’s a warning that there is a speed check ahead on my side. I’d think it’s quite irrelevant these days with cameras on most main roads so you’re gonna get caught regardless of lurking Police

Ineffable23 · 09/08/2026 12:08

Flash and a palm down hand movement to me means "hazard ahead, slow down". Sometimes that hazard may be a police speed trap. Other times it's a bike in the road just round the corner, or a horse or a tractor or anything else that might require slower driving.

Not come across a thumbs down version but I think I would have guessed it meant something similar.