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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask a driving question?

145 replies

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 10:04

If I passed you when driving (passing each other going opposite ways) and I flashed my headlights at you and made a thumbs down sign, would you understand what I mean?

Context- I thought this was well-known, DP has never heard of it, so we're wondering if it's local to my area.

OP posts:
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Zippidydoodah · 09/08/2026 10:04

I’d check if I’d left my full beam on by accident and if I hadn’t, I’d probably think “what the fuck; fuck off!”

Seeline · 09/08/2026 10:05

Not have a clue.
Sounds as though it probably contravenes the Highway Code regardless of meaning.

Zippidydoodah · 09/08/2026 10:06

I learned the hard way that flashing and moving hand palm down means slow down as there’s a police car round the corner. I didn’t think fuck off then to be fair, I was concerned and had no idea what they meant.

Dermatologically · 09/08/2026 10:06

No. I'd check I didn't have full beams on like a previous poster but if it wasn't that I'd be clueless

Tittyfilarious · 09/08/2026 10:07

I'm guessing here but slightly different hand gesture where I live , slow down police speed check coming up

Divebar2021 · 09/08/2026 10:07

I wouldn’t know either. I would assume my lights were on full beam or there were police ahead doing speed checks.

DDivaStar · 09/08/2026 10:07

Flashing is normally a warning of a hazard ahead. No idea about the thumbs down and not sure I'd even see it.

There is a particular busy country road I drive and people always flash lights if there's a broken down vehicle or pedestrians on the road ahead as a warning.

ChagallsMuse · 09/08/2026 10:07

I'd think you mean speed trap.

Although I would immediately panic that I had a cup of coffee on my roof/ left the boot open/ was accidentally dragging a sheep behind me.

Purplecatshopaholic · 09/08/2026 10:07

Yes, if I didn’t have my full beam on by mistake, I’d assume there were traffic cops round the corner. Pretty standard in central Scotland.

Dermatologically · 09/08/2026 10:08

I know moving your hand palm down means slow down so I'd assume police or an accident for that one

dizzydizzydizzy · 09/08/2026 10:08

I would think my headlights were not on or were on full beam. If it were daylight, I would wonder if there is some obstruction ahead so would slow down.

MagneticSquirrel · 09/08/2026 10:09

No idea! Never heard of it or seen it! (And been driving decades)

Ncforthis2267 · 09/08/2026 10:09

Not seen the thumbs down, but a flash and palm down movement if there's a hazard ahead.

Actually did it this morning as there was a horse and rider on a winding fast paced road.

wombat1a · 09/08/2026 10:10

I'd assume the road ahead had an issue/accident, so to be ready to turn around.

CrikeyMajikey · 09/08/2026 10:10

I’d assume so sory of hazard or speed camera ahead.
Not sure about the specifics of thumbs down though.

Loulou4022 · 09/08/2026 10:12

I've never been flashed and then thumbs down, during the day id think there was a speed camera or police further ahead if at night that I assume I’d not got my lights on or had left my main beam on.

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 10:14

Super quick replies!

Yes, to me the flash means "hazard" or "you've left your lights off/full beams on" but the flash with a thumbs down means "police speed trap"

DP had never heard of it and now has to do a speed awareness course!

OP posts:
timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 09/08/2026 10:17

I would have no idea, but I'd guess it meant speed trap.

A general "flash" around here normally means hazard - as we're rural, that generally means walkers in the road, sheep or cows being moved, or a tree branch in the way.

theneighboureatmysalad · 09/08/2026 10:18

I would take it as a warning of something coming, and if I see nothing in the next 2 minutes, I'd thought you were an idiot who didn't know how to pass cars 😂

Mischance · 09/08/2026 10:18

I flash for a hazard - live rurally and narrow lanes. But I never warn of a speed trap - let them get caught and learn their lesson and perhaps make us all safer.

Vaxtable · 09/08/2026 10:20

Yes I know but it’s illegal to do it and why would you. Speed limits ae there for a reason and speeding is my pet hate, so I would never warn anyone

theneighboureatmysalad · 09/08/2026 10:20

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 10:14

Super quick replies!

Yes, to me the flash means "hazard" or "you've left your lights off/full beams on" but the flash with a thumbs down means "police speed trap"

DP had never heard of it and now has to do a speed awareness course!

why on earth would you warn people of police presence ahead?

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 09/08/2026 10:21

It's illegal to warn others, and I don't give a shit if someone gets caught so wouldn't warn them anyway,

theneighboureatmysalad · 09/08/2026 10:23

It's not even just "speed" which is bad enough, the police can have very different reasons to be stopping or waiting for some cars.

You have to be a special kind of idiot to warn people

Of course they know someone will warn others immediately, but it's still idiotic.

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · 09/08/2026 10:27

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 10:14

Super quick replies!

Yes, to me the flash means "hazard" or "you've left your lights off/full beams on" but the flash with a thumbs down means "police speed trap"

DP had never heard of it and now has to do a speed awareness course!

This is a good thing. The speed awareness course will help him be a safer driver and reduce the likelihood of him destroying your life by killing himself or someone else through bad driving.

For the same reason, warning other drivers of an imminent speed trap is an unkind thing to do. If they reduce speed just for those few seconds and then go back to speeding, they learn nothing and are just as likely to kill someone (possibly themselves). About 4 people per day die in road traffic indicents. The majority of incidents are caused by or contributed to by speeding. If you warn a speeding driver so that they don't get caught, you are indirectly contributing to causing those deaths.

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