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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask a driving question?

145 replies

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 10:04

If I passed you when driving (passing each other going opposite ways) and I flashed my headlights at you and made a thumbs down sign, would you understand what I mean?

Context- I thought this was well-known, DP has never heard of it, so we're wondering if it's local to my area.

OP posts:
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hereforthelolz · 09/08/2026 14:10

I wouldn’t have a clue.

strawberrymatcha22 · 09/08/2026 14:19

Everyone who gets caught speeding always claims to have only been 1 or 2 mph over the speed limit, it’s never oh yeah I was doing 50 in a 30. I just think it’s bollocks. You’re not getting done for speeding doing 32 in a 30, I just don’t buy it.

Thebinisrightthere · 09/08/2026 14:21

Never heard if it

The fact that your OP has never heard of it either is irrelevant. He was caught speeding so needs to face the consequences

Cantthinkofanewusernameffs · 09/08/2026 14:44

I remember my uncle telling us someone had flashed their lights and made a palm down gesture to warn him of a speed camera. That must have been over 40 years ago, so it's not new.
A lorry driver flashed and did a thumbs down at me a few weeks ago, so both gestures seem to be universal code for a speed camera.

I always flash to warn people, regardless of whether or not they look to be speeding.

ColdAsAWitches · 09/08/2026 14:54

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 13:46

Personally I warn people who appear to be driving at the correct speed as it is very easy to be 1 or 2 miles over and not notice. It's very different to dangerous levels of speeding.

Seriously? You flash your lights at people that are doing the correct speed? That's definitely not normal behaviour. If I was driving properly and you flashed me I wouldn't have a clue why. How is that helpful?

Mischance · 09/08/2026 15:29

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 11:21

Gosh I forgot that noone on MN has ever driven a mile over the speed limit. I'm so glad there are so many perfect drivers on here.

Sarcasm and joking have no place in my mind for this subject.

Seeing the mopped up bodies and, worse still, trying to support the desperate relatives. A car is a loaded gun ......

canklesmctacotits · 09/08/2026 15:50

Another way in which country/ rural/ suburban driving and city driving require quite different skills! I wouldn’t have had the first clue!

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 15:53

strawberrymatcha22 · 09/08/2026 14:19

Everyone who gets caught speeding always claims to have only been 1 or 2 mph over the speed limit, it’s never oh yeah I was doing 50 in a 30. I just think it’s bollocks. You’re not getting done for speeding doing 32 in a 30, I just don’t buy it.

If you get a speed awareness course you can only have been doing a couple of miles over. That's part of tbe criteria.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 09/08/2026 15:53

DDivaStar · 09/08/2026 10:07

Flashing is normally a warning of a hazard ahead. No idea about the thumbs down and not sure I'd even see it.

There is a particular busy country road I drive and people always flash lights if there's a broken down vehicle or pedestrians on the road ahead as a warning.

This is what I would have thought too - lower speed as hazard ahead. But the thumbs down would mean nothing.

FunPreventionOfficer · 09/08/2026 16:27

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 13:45

Exactly this and same in our area. The handheld speed checkers are notoriously more sensitive than fixed cameras so you can get a ticket for 1 or 2 mph over the limit (which is what happened to DP despite posters who seem to assume he was significantly speeding)

Unless the limit was 5mph, I don’t believe that your DP has been done for 1 or 2 mph over the limit.

Somersetbaker · 09/08/2026 16:46

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 13:45

Exactly this and same in our area. The handheld speed checkers are notoriously more sensitive than fixed cameras so you can get a ticket for 1 or 2 mph over the limit (which is what happened to DP despite posters who seem to assume he was significantly speeding)

Handheld and fixed cameras have the same degree of accuracy. The law says the limit is what is displayed on the round sign, no where in the road traffic act does it say "the speed on the sign plus a.bit for luck". It is illegal to have a speedo that under reads, so you will know if you are speeding. I've been caught, I've done the course, now I take more care.

ShowOfHands · 09/08/2026 18:39

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 15:53

If you get a speed awareness course you can only have been doing a couple of miles over. That's part of tbe criteria.

*The police will consider the following grounds when assessing your eligibility for the driver awareness course:

  • your speed narrowly exceeded the limit and falls within the guidelines set out by the National Police Chief Council (NPCC) up to:
  • 31 mph in a 20 mph area
  • 42 mph in a 30 mph area
  • 53 mph in a 40 mph area
  • 64 mph in a 50 mph area­­
  • 75 mph in a 60 mph area
  • 86 mph in a 70 mph area*

It's a little bit more than a couple of mph over.

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 19:14

FunPreventionOfficer · 09/08/2026 16:27

Unless the limit was 5mph, I don’t believe that your DP has been done for 1 or 2 mph over the limit.

It was literally on the letter he got from the police. 32 in a 30.

OP posts:
SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 19:16

ShowOfHands · 09/08/2026 18:39

*The police will consider the following grounds when assessing your eligibility for the driver awareness course:

  • your speed narrowly exceeded the limit and falls within the guidelines set out by the National Police Chief Council (NPCC) up to:
  • 31 mph in a 20 mph area
  • 42 mph in a 30 mph area
  • 53 mph in a 40 mph area
  • 64 mph in a 50 mph area­­
  • 75 mph in a 60 mph area
  • 86 mph in a 70 mph area*

It's a little bit more than a couple of mph over.

Fair but still not ridiculous levels of speeding is it?

OP posts:
FoxRedPuppy · 09/08/2026 19:17

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 10:14

Super quick replies!

Yes, to me the flash means "hazard" or "you've left your lights off/full beams on" but the flash with a thumbs down means "police speed trap"

DP had never heard of it and now has to do a speed awareness course!

If the person coming towards you happened to be a police officer you can end up being fined/getting in trouble for this. It’s happens where I Iive

MiceSpiders · 09/08/2026 19:17

Where I am it's usually a flash and an exaggerated mouthing of old Bill, maybe with a thumb gesture over their shoulder towards the direction they came from, but I live in Essex

Shade17 · 09/08/2026 19:20

Speed trap. Round my way though it tends to be multiple light flashes without hand gestures.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 09/08/2026 19:23

I think it’s reasonable to warn of a speed trap. It’s usually drivers repeatedly flashing and hand with palm down moving downwards. Not seen a thumb down. It’s reasonable to suggest to other drivers that they obey the speed limit. The police want the fine money and the convictions - not people actually driving more responsibly. You are not likely to get caught!

FunPreventionOfficer · 09/08/2026 19:36

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 19:14

It was literally on the letter he got from the police. 32 in a 30.

From my experience over many years no end of people claim that they know someone receiving a notice of intended prosecution (NIP) for 31 or 32 mph in a 30 yet whenever i have asked them to prove it they never did. Potential speedometer errors and calibration variations on the equipment used would be too easy to question in court.
I even offered to pay someone’s fine if they showed the summons wording for 32 in a 30 - it was never forthcoming. Are you prepared to show that it was a NIP from the police for 32 in a 30? You don’t have to prove it to me, you don’t know me but seeing is believing.

strawberrymatcha22 · 09/08/2026 20:22

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 19:16

Fair but still not ridiculous levels of speeding is it?

What is your definition of ridiculous levels of speeding, if not 15 mph over the speed limit?

eurochick · 09/08/2026 20:41

I’ve been driving for more than 30 years and never heard of this.

QueenOfDragon · 09/08/2026 20:42

As the daughter of a lorry driver I can confirm; it means there is a speed check up ahead!

KrazyKatty · 09/08/2026 20:43

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 19:16

Fair but still not ridiculous levels of speeding is it?

I was hit by a car whilst walking my kid to primary school on a country road. She argued in court that she wasn’t speeding but still managed not to see us and hit me and sent me flying into a ditch.

No idea of the actual speed she was doing but it was too fast for her to react in time, even though it was daylight and a straight road.

Luckily DS was ok but I wasn’t!

You may think you’re a champion for the underdog helping other drivers to avoid getting a ticket for being slightly over the speed limit. Go you!

I think you’re a bloody busybody who won’t care until someone you’re close to, gets hit by a speeding motorist!! 😢

Somersetbaker · 09/08/2026 21:20

SendforJulietOne · 09/08/2026 19:14

It was literally on the letter he got from the police. 32 in a 30.

He was speeding the limit was 30 not 32. What is so difficult to understand?

Thesummer · 09/08/2026 21:38

Don't know how you've got so many replies.

Most MNers "live rurally" and "don't drive" (it's never "can't" or "won't") and have to take their kids on 3 buses each way to get to school in the morning 😅