Whats the point of consent and asking permission if you get lied to

[MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe]

Whats the point of consent and permission ? friends meal and they cover the cost, they said here is x amount get what you want, so permission is asked what the limit is eg £20 and i can get whatever food / takeaway with it, the yes permission is given that i can buy what i want within the budget.

turns out a day or two after wards a sarcastic comment was made because i had 2 jacket potatoes with different toppings, so i said why is that an issue and it turns out that they still thought id get one instead of two ,

so i said i asked permission of what the budget was and i did ask what i could get then all i got was oh id still thought you would get 1 so i said why then say i can get x why not just say and be honest.

i guess this is more me moaning but why do people do this, say yes to x then they actually want you do to x instead its like why ?

before anyone asks we usually do a weekly meal out, and no they are fairly wealthy

You seem very passive about the ordering/paying but then when she made the sarky comment about the 2 meals you were quite happy to confront her about that

just channel that outrage the next time she insists on paying and pay your own way

You need to pick up your own bill. Simple as that.

No it doesn't help you. At all.

@MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe it might be best if you stop the catch-ups with food and just go somewhere for a coffee, then state that you’ll take turns with paying going forward.

Alternatively, stop the catch-ups altogether.

Hi OP. Do you think you are exempt from educating yourself in the very basics of social etiquette?

For example, if you were first in a group of 6 people, and a plate had 6 cakes (or whatever), with a sign saying "help yourself" would you take all 6, then claim to be baffled why 5 people moaned you were greedy and selfish? The sign said you could be as greedy and selfish as you liked right? But understanding very basic manners tell you it's absolutely not ok to do this. Not because the sign was "cryptic".

ok my error

Ok, I'm going to really try to explain this as best I can because 17 pages into a thread you are none the wiser apparently.

You should have been explicit in your questioning if you are so rigid in your mannerisms. It's nobody else's fault that you are socially / etiquettelly lacking.

In future you need to specifically say "Can I order two potatoes at a total cost of £7?"... that then gives the buyer the opportunity to clearly say yes or no. Absolutely no errors in communication then.

There is no way on earth ANYONE within social norms would ever assume that "Can I have what I want" would EVER mean two meals.

Alright, calm yer tits Shetlandish 😂 dunno why your getting so shirty with OP.

What did they actually say when they were moaning?

So why would a ND person pick up on “I have £20 to spend” rather than I will pay for “a” meal up to £20.
If it’s clearly down as a meal, singular, then the ND Op should be following instructions to get a meal surely.
Funny how “ why are people not more straightforward” seems to work in one direction for some people.

fair points on your analysis

basically because i asked can i order what i wanted upto the £20, they said yes so i ordered the two poatoes, they then moaned because i ordered the 2 poatoes then i said i did ask to order what i wanted and they said they still thought id only order 1. so i said whats the point of me asking to order what wanted

For God's sake open, you were supposed to order one lunch, not two.

It's really not difficult, amd you've been told numerous times now.

OP, can you not see that you sound like an ungrateful child?

3rd time of asking - your friend buys you food weekly, what do you bring to the friendship, what do you do for her?

You wouldn't need to if you weren't so grabby in the first place. Pay for your own food. It is that simple.

i dunno its a mystery, but it must be something about me

What were the circumstances where you got moaned at for spending too much, which then prompted you to ask "how much is my budget" this time round? What did you order that time?

So you don't do anything for her.

Shes a nicer person than I am, I would have run away years ago.

Why didn’t you just ask her for the other £13 as well? Since you insist you ordered what you wanted because she gave you a budget. You still didn't say how much you spent before that she complained it was too expensive.

You made it to Uni, you are deliberately being obtuse. All you care about is your "friend" is wealthy.

and run as far as you can

Do all of your friends pity you?

i dunno, im a strange fish

When you say they moaned what did they actually say?

I feel you are an unreliable narrator and they may have just said something like ‘blimey, you must have been hungry eating 2 lunches’ and you took that as a slight

Your friend might. Do you want to risk it?

basically because i asked can i order what i wanted upto the £20, they said yes so i ordered the two poatoes, they then moaned because i ordered the 2 poatoes then i said i did ask to order what i wanted and they said they still thought id only order 1. so i said whats the point of me asking to order what wanted