Whats the point of consent and asking permission if you get lied to

[MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe]

Whats the point of consent and permission ? friends meal and they cover the cost, they said here is x amount get what you want, so permission is asked what the limit is eg £20 and i can get whatever food / takeaway with it, the yes permission is given that i can buy what i want within the budget.

turns out a day or two after wards a sarcastic comment was made because i had 2 jacket potatoes with different toppings, so i said why is that an issue and it turns out that they still thought id get one instead of two ,

so i said i asked permission of what the budget was and i did ask what i could get then all i got was oh id still thought you would get 1 so i said why then say i can get x why not just say and be honest.

i guess this is more me moaning but why do people do this, say yes to x then they actually want you do to x instead its like why ?

before anyone asks we usually do a weekly meal out, and no they are fairly wealthy

because they usually say they pay x for the meal when i do or have offered

they were only medium sized ones, so not large

I think in this context ‘get what you want’ means choose any meal from the menu, it doesn’t however mean to choose two meals. Just because a budget was given doesn’t mean to get two meals because they are within budget. Doing this seems greedy and like you’re trying to make the most out of your friend’s generosity which is rude.

Did you get them both on the one plate?
what did they order?

i asked the budget so i could be under budget

they had fish and chips

A medium sized potatoe is normal

DH may manage a large if it’s a very active day for him

fair points but can you also understand my point about why say x when they think y instead etc

both eaten together at the meal because they were medium sized ones to me 2 made it one meal

Because they didn’t expect you to buy 2!

true but then why say x etc thats the frustrating part

Do you ever treat your mate, @MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe ?

i offer but its usually there treat etc

Op, you seem to be missing the social nuance here. Firstly, it’s unusual for someone else to pay, every time you go out. Surely, you must see that? Also, it is unusual for someone to order two full plates of food? Surely you must see that too?

they meant have what you want from the menu (1 meal) up to a maximum of £20 Which is how most people would interpret it

not here’s £20, but whatever you like

dressing it up as asking for consent etc etc is bizarre tbh

OP are you neurodivergent? Because this is exactly the kind of thing my autistic child would find difficult- navigating the unspoken rules of social interaction and realising what people mean as opposed to what they actually say. They also get frustrated when people don’t say exactly what they mean. I think you’re getting a hard time here because people think you’re being greedy or a chancer, whereas to me you just sound like you take things very literally.

Start paying for your own food and order whatever you wish. Your "friend" probably won't be treating you anymore anyway after you took the piss.

i should have just used the word permission

This is not the meaning of consent or permission.

Buying two meals is a piss take regardless of price.

Stop accepting every time. Why is it their treat? Are they your granny?

If you're friends, you should alternate. You buy one week, they buy the next. Stop taking the mick.

Maybe it’s eat as much as you want not eat as much as you can?

Because nobody would would foresee that when you are getting a free meal.every single week that you'd be rude enough to order 2! They surely weren't going to say "The budget is £20 but don't be greedy and order 2 meals"

So you offer once and when they say ‘no my treat’ say ‘yes ok’?

because if they are British they expect a bit of to and fro and you should insist!

if they are no better off than you I would be really embarrassed to accept their hospitality every time. Are there other issues at hand here?

to me taking the piss is giving confusing answers when asked

they may be wealthy but still tight with £ at times