Whats the point of consent and asking permission if you get lied to

[MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe]

Whats the point of consent and permission ? friends meal and they cover the cost, they said here is x amount get what you want, so permission is asked what the limit is eg £20 and i can get whatever food / takeaway with it, the yes permission is given that i can buy what i want within the budget.

turns out a day or two after wards a sarcastic comment was made because i had 2 jacket potatoes with different toppings, so i said why is that an issue and it turns out that they still thought id get one instead of two ,

so i said i asked permission of what the budget was and i did ask what i could get then all i got was oh id still thought you would get 1 so i said why then say i can get x why not just say and be honest.

i guess this is more me moaning but why do people do this, say yes to x then they actually want you do to x instead its like why ?

before anyone asks we usually do a weekly meal out, and no they are fairly wealthy

its basically i ordered 2 poatoes instead of one,

That makes so much sense

There’s clearly a lot more context though so would be interesting to hear your friends take

do you live together? Is it a family member?

@MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe are you ND?

Is your friend ND?

Did your jacket potatoes cost £7 for two?

Tbh yes.

But I have seen this trait in autistic people - OP doesn't want to learn anything from what happened or why her friend reacted.
I have seen this before as well. Black/white not able to refect and move on to a better way of interacting with other people.

You weren't shafted. At all.

because the point im making is when did yes become no or no become yes etc that was my original point in the op

Of course two baked potatoes is 2 separate meals! You won't see two on the menu together.

Paying for her own meal would sort all this aggro but this clearly won't be happening and OP would rather keep taking her friend's money and playing the victim over it. I mean look what title she's given this thread!

it felt like it after i asked permission to order what i wanted

I think people for whom it comes naturally find it hard to understand how it can be so difficult for those of us where it doesn't. It's confusing and you can't always take what you've learnt from one situation and apply it to another.

Oh get over yourself will you?

why is it right for a person to ask permission to do x they do x then get moaned at for it ?

Can you give another example as you say it happens a lot? One that doesn’t involve this particular friend.

that was the point of the thread

You keep saying that you were treated unfair. You weren't.

You are using this ‘literalist’ peg on which to hang your whole badly conditioned attitude.
Incapable, so you claim, of understanding anything not spelt out to you in words of black and white (so to speak) has the curious effect of getting you everything you want without your having to offer anything yourself. Funny, that.

You are claiming a behavioural privilege throughout your thread which toddlers hold, but they sure as hell learn the ways of the world before many more years have elapsed. We give and take, and we exert ourselves to understand what might not be fully expressed in order to spare friends discomfort or embarrassment.
By refusing to register your part in this social lubrication, you are forcing your friends to do what you want, always, rather than ever have things their way, because they are too polite to adopt your tactics.

It's a funny thing gifting. I think sometimes people will give gifts with genuine good intentions but sometimes the parties involved have such different norms and expectations around it that doesn't work well. Sometimes you can make it work by clarifying what's expected. Other times there's nothing to do but admit that it's not working and say, let's just not do this particular thing.

Tbh it’s more this thread where people have explained the friends perspective but she can’t let it go

the initial event was clearly a misunderstanding

thats why i did the asking so rather than presuming i thought if i asked can i order what i wanted then it would be either i could or could not to me there was only 2 answers needed

Move on and pay for yourself. Case closed.

my point is why do people do this, why not answer with a proper answer when asked then stick to it.

true its a pitty though that you cannot trust people to say what they mean and be honest

Well give another example

Because in this example you’ve had many people answer that you misunderstood the etiquette of the situation

Oh you can infer what they want when it suits you.

Are you going to stop making your friend pay for you every week or continue to take her money and bitch that she's tight?