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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask if heartbreak gets easier after five days?

131 replies

TheOpalFox · 08/08/2026 09:45

He left me 5 days ago and it’s the worst
most excruciating pain of my life. Like so severe . I have lost a stone and I can’t eat or sleep of
ficntion
he’s now blocked my son. Someone please tell me this gets easier ? It’s horrendous living like this and the pain? So severe 💔💔💔💔😰😰😰😰

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 16/08/2026 16:32

This isn’t love.

TheOpalFox · 16/08/2026 16:42

Wolfiefan · 16/08/2026 16:32

This isn’t love.

I know, I feel obsessed :( not
helqhthy is it
just wish the pain would stop

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 16/08/2026 23:08

It will in time. For now you need to focus on other things.

Millytante · 17/08/2026 02:43

TheOpalFox · 16/08/2026 10:45

I’m struggling but im
ok. It’d the worst pain in the world isn’t it?

No, it really is not!
I only comment now because I think that your keeping on telling yourself over and over that this pain after separation is the most unbearable agony anyone can suffer is actually making you feel ten times worse, and preventing you from moving on from the day of the split.
Try to stop quantifying, or measuring this awfulness, day to day, and just acknowledge its presence; then sort of avert your eyes from it, as it were.
Sure, it’s still there, but you really do not have to be assessing it every five minutes!
That gives it power over you, and makes it appear much stronger.

Let it be, and just get on with the necessities of family life (you've your dad and your son with you, so there must be demands on your time) and be like a woman with broken ribs or a fractured arm: part of you really hurts a lot but you can’t just sign out of life because of it. You KNOW time knits our fractures back together. So let it.

Im convinced that the best way to get through the pain you have right now is to go through it; let it do its thing but with no help from you (ie, no constant checking, describing, querying etc) and just grit your teeth and fight your way forward, as though it were a dark tunnel-type shape between you and where you want to be.
Accept its sudden flashes and other hurts, that’s just its way, and par for the course, but every day is draining away a bit of its original power.

If you leave it alone, and you determine to keep on keeping on, right through it, you will be out the other side of it sooner.

LBFseBrom · 17/08/2026 05:53

I hope you are OK.

TheMrsCampbellBlack · 17/08/2026 06:08

I'm 9 weeks into my husband of 28 years telling me he's been prolifically unfaithful among various other things. It will get better OP. First few days were a super struggle but I got up, put my face on went to work and held it together till night time where I allowed myself 60 mins to dwell and have a cry then I'd have a bath or shower, and stop it. Repeat for a few days then I realised I didn't need 60 mins some days I just feel sad but don't cry etc. Its ok to grieve the end of the relationship but you will get over it. Make some plans, get out and do something with your little one, join a library or go to an outdoor market etc. Just do stuff. I'm still sad inside but its getting better already.

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