AIBU to ask if heartbreak gets easier after five days?

[TheOpalFox]

He left me 5 days ago and it’s the worst
most excruciating pain of my life. Like so severe . I have lost a stone and I can’t eat or sleep of
ficntion
he’s now blocked my son. Someone please tell me this gets easier ? It’s horrendous living like this and the pain? So severe 💔💔💔💔😰😰😰😰

Nothing lasts, good or bad. You’ll be okay.

Five days? Not so much. It can be like being an emotional burn victim. Anything and everything, expected or not, can can cause a sharp pang and sudden intake of breath. A sudden heaviness. It DOES get better. It truly does. But even then, a song, a scent, a face in a crowd that looks familiar may give you a quick twinge. But less and less as time goes on and as you focus your time and energy on other things that give you pleasure. I’m so, so sorry you’re going through this.

I’ve been in your shoes and wallowed and punished myself by restricting food etc.As it was the only thing I could control out of a shitty situation.As well as losing my appetite.I hope I’m not put in that position again for my own mental health.But let me tell you,you will get through this,no man is worth it really!.You’re stronger than you think,Get up girly and kick ass 🥰

When Brad Pitt dumped Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie she gave herself a day to be miserable, after that she picked herself up and got on with things. my point is don't let your former relationship/ex steal the next few months or years of your life by being unhappy, find a way forward.

It gets so much easier. You will never look back. Focus on the bad times, keep telling yourself how hurt he’s made you by doing that to you. I was at rock bottom before after a breakup, I thought I had lost everything. Turns out the best years of my life were just starting as I met my now dh shortly after. Life is too short to waste time on someone who doesn’t treat you good. Hope you’re okay.

Totally agree with this.

I've been through similar twice. It took me 3 months each time to feel recovered and great again. 3 months goes by fast 💕

Surely having your father in the house and looking after his needs, isn’t helpful if you have endured such a traumatic upbringing. Can Social Services not advise you how to disentangle yourself, and shift him into other accommodation?
It sounds dreadful, a daily reminder of what you (naturally) do not wish to dwell on.

Go for a jog or a very fast walk

Exercise - dance exercises from utube

Drink plenty of water

Practice 4 7 8 breathing

Watch motivational videos on utube which explain how to be strong and get over relationship ends

Get ice cubes and rub them on the sides of your neck

Repeat the above regularly many times a day

Make sure that your child is happy and well cared for

The pain you are in now will pass

You poor, poor young woman, Opal. I can feel your pain.

You have to go through the motions of normal life for your son's sake but you know that.

It's awful and debilitating but still very early days. Be kind to yourself, you will eventually come out of it but nobody can predict when.

Oh honey it will get easier I promise you, in another 5 days it won't hurt quite as much, and it will ease off a tiny bit each day. You need to keep busy, join a book club, a gym, a yoga class or anything that gets you out and maybe you will make some friends. Eat healthy as heartbreak can make you physically ill so you need to look after yourself. He's shown you who he is and he's shit. I know it's hard to believe it now but honestly in a few months you'll see you are better off without him. Sending you hugs.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, it absolutely does get easier but sometimes you have to fake it until you make it type thing.

I think what helps is if you detach yourself and look at it from an outsider/your future self.

You would be too embarrassed to say this in front of anyone in real life, so imagine seeing yourself in a few weeks time and looking back on how much you cried over someone else.

Imagine how cringey it would be to hear y someone else say the things that you’re saying, that they’re addicted to someone etc.

The key for now is to just not think about it.
Keep yourself as busy as possible.
Instead of going home after work, go for a 2 hour walk with headphones on.
At home download a game on your phone, read books, tidy the house.

Do not talk to your DS about it.
He’s gone and wallowing in self pity is not going to bring him back.

Do not let him waste any more of your life.
5 days of being upset is more than enough life wasted.
Imagine your son dying tomorrow or finding out you’ve got terminal cancer - I guarantee you wouldn’t spend any more time crying over this man.

No one has died - how do you think someone copes when their child or lifelong partner dies.

You can be upset but you need to accept that it’s over and move on.
You need to find a way to function like the adult you are, whilst also allowing yourself some tears before you go bed.

how old is your child? Concentrate on him. If he’s only young take him to the park or just a walk. Don’t let him be sitting in a miserable atmosphere all day. It does get better, it’s much better to get angry than wallow in sadness. One day you will wake up and realise that he was a useless cunt that let you and your son down. Until then chin up you can do this. X

It hurts becuase it’s grief. And grief is so painful. and it’s okay to be in grief as you have to move through it. It sometimes it can be helpful to only allow yourself so much time per day to the grief otherwise it will consume you. Loosing a stone in 5 days is loads hun, prioritise each day eating, having a shower and doing something nice for yourself no matter how small. Schedule grief time for 30 mins a day so it doesn’t take up all day, be angry be sad be mad but don’t let it takeover you. You need to look after yourself ❤️❤️

I’m 3 years past it now and still hurt. It hit me so so bad. I spent 4 months laying in bed at night with hypnotherapy music on to even attempt to sleep. I actually lost 4 stone in 4 months. He was my every waking thought for a year. The pain eased significantly after 2 years and now although I hurt and haven’t looked at another man life is definitely easier. I got to 48 without knowing how horrendous real heartbreak is. He left me for our neighbour though who had been coming into our bed regularly whilst I worked so it was a bad bad time

A doctor's appointment is a good starting point, but you likely need counselling to deal with past and present trauma. I am sorry some responders are being unkind. The only way you are being unreasonable is in expecting to feel better after 5 days. Having been heartbroken more than once over the years, I can tell you it can take a really long time. Meanwhile follow the kinder advice to focus on your son, take walks, keep yourself busy, etc....fake it til you make it! Good luck.

Oh hunny, it most defo does get easier. A friend said to me, ‘right now you feel your life has fallen apart take every day as it comes and I promise you this, this time next year you’ll look back and realise how far you’ve come and how much happier you are’. - and it honestly took less than 3 months not a year.

Another friend told me that you’ve got to let yourself grieve. Grieve the loss of your future plans and the life you had mapped out for yourself with that person. Then you can move past and start your future.

it will get better. 6 years later and I’m remarried with two young children and my older ones who I had with my ex have all come to terms and happier than they ever were. It wasn’t easy but it was definitely worth it.

Night times I found the hardest and losing who I thought was my best friend. But best friends don’t hurt you. Big hugs xx

You are at the start of a grieving process. Grief doesn't necessarily mean death, it can mean the end of something that you thought was long-term/forever. You are mourning the loss of a future you thought you had.

You are allowed to cry, wallow and feel sorry for yourself at this stage. Yes, it's going to hurt but the old saying that 'time is a good healer' is correct. At the moment it's early days, and you can't see that.

Your ex has blocked you and your son. There's no going back. I assume there's no real reason to need to contact each other? No shared children, home, finances? If there isn't then that's good. It means you can have a clean break. That might feel extreme but it's better for your healing process.

Take each day as it comes. Get out for a walk on a daily basis. Keep busy. See friends/family.

I’m not coping :( the pain is getting a lot worse
💔💔💔💔💔

You are being unreasonable… it takes a week.

People deal with heartbreak differently, some better than others. When I was younger I dealt with it badly. Very. I felt anxious for months. I thought about it obsessively. I checked my phone constantly. I drank. In hindsight it was ridiculous and I wish I could shake younger me and tell her: one day soon it wouldn’t matter anymore and that I would move on and never have regrets. It definitely gets better, everything does in time. I hope you don’t go through the prolonged, self-inflicted anxiety/obsessive crap that I did. Honestly, I was being ridiculous. But however you handle it going forward know that I was probably more of a mess than you are haha. I mean that kindly.

I was also trauma bonded, he was without a doubt a narcissist, probably malignant, it was extreme. It really does make for the worst breakup

Any tips to heal from this please 💔💔💔

I can’t breathe every single day 💔💔💔

You really need to get some sort of a grip OP. This is bad for your child.

OP I don't think sitting on social media is helpful.

You need to get up and do something. Go for a walk is a good start.

You have started numerous threads and don't seem to be taking any advise on board.

You have to help yourself here. No one else can do it for you. Put the phone down and go for a walk.