AIBU to think a seven-year-old going alone to restaurant toilets is unsafe?

[MountainBiker]

Central London chain restaurant. Small 7 year old on the next table (definitely 7, she had a badge and a birthday balloon tied to the back of her chair) went off to the toilet on her own.
Toilets were out of sight, downstairs, in a corridor of floor to ceiling unisex cubicles.
Am I a helicopter parent or do most people think this is unsafe?
YABU: kids should be able to cope with this by age 7
YANBU: more supervision is required

No, I wouldn't let my kids do this (aged 8 and 6, girl and boy).

I’d have gone with mine at that age, she’d have been worried about getting locked in the cubicle. Can’t say I’d have judged someone else for making a different choice though.

Edit to add the lock on the cubicle isn’t the only reason I wouldn’t have done this 🤦‍♀️ the safety issue is the reason, I meant she wouldn’t have gone on her own even if I was ok with it.

I probably wouldn't let them but if they're familiar with the restaurant and there's only the one way in/out, I could see someone making a different assessment.

Is there a risk? - yes. Is it as much of a risk as her being involved in a car crash when with you or being abused by a family member or known adult? - No.

I would have taken my Dd at that age as she would have been worried about finding her way back and also locking the door.

I agree, I wouldn't allow this due to them being on a separate floor and not in sight. I would however allow a 7 year old to the loo alone if it was right by where we were sitting and I could see who was going in and out.

Supermarkets in the city local to me used to have signs up warning parents not to allow their children go to the toilets by themselves because of instances where children had been assaulted.
I certainly wouldn't allow a child as young as 7 go to a public toilet in any venue or shop by themselves.

When my DDs were that sort of age I would let them go alone but only if the door of the toilets were in sight and it was in a restaurant etc rather than public toilets.
I think 7 is quite young to go alone in this scenario.

I went to the toilet much older than this alone.I think I was about ten or eleven.

A member of the public came to my assistance, as she noticed a man walk into the female toilets, and she confronted him he was standing right outside my stall with his ear against the door. Thank god, a member of the public thought to come and rescue me.

While i was in the cubical something told me to stay put even though I finished. I could hear somebody walking around the bathroom. Wash their hands and then suddenly there was silence. So I stayed where I was.If I opened that cubicle door he would have been right there.

Definitely not. I think under 12 should always be accompanied. Even if young boy in ladies loo with mum.

Is it a risk worth taking? Also, no

I’d be reasonably happy that the child (my child) would be able to manage, but I wouldn’t trust others. To be explicit, I’d be concerned a man could attack her on the way to or in the toilets or on the way back. So I’d not let her go alone. But not because of her capabilities.

Up to 12?! That's secondary school age. Many kids are getting themselves to school at that age.

Exactly the same for me, my kids would be fine with it, but I don't trust men. As a single mum, my 6 year old son is always asking to go in the men's toilet and its a flat no from me.

I have a 6 year old boy and couldn’t even imagine this - in fact, he still comes into the girls toilets with me. But each to their own.

Did you read my post?I went to the toilets alone at 11 and a member of the public saw a man enter the female toilets after me and he was standing outside my cubicle with his ear against the door.

If somebody hadn't had the sense to see that.And follow me, in what do you think would have happened if I'd open that cubicle door to a man standing there?

Yes, I was old enough to get myself to school alone.No, I was not old enough to defend myself from a fully grown adult man in a confined space. But you do what you want with your own daughter's safety.

Not sure.

I remember when DD was about 7 (she's 30 now so this is going back a while) she and I had a day in London to see a matinee. For lunch we went to an Italian restaurant in Covent Garden. The tables were outside and it was quite busy.

After we had ordered DD said she needed the toilet. I would normally have gone with her but I didn't want to leave our table unattended as there were lots of people around. I could see the door of the restaurant so said she could go alone. I saw her ask directions from a waiter then disappear inside. I admit I did then have a moment of "OMG I am in the middle of London and my DD is out of sight." Anyway she was fine, turned out she had to go up two flights of stairs to find the toilets but she managed.

I guess this is the sort of thing most kids that age are perfectly capable of and the risk is tiny, but as parents we find it hard to let them out of sight.

In the case you describe the little girl might well be familiar with the restaurant and therefore it probably wouldn't seem so bad.

What where was this? Sounds made up

Having taken my own 9 year old down there, I was worried about her inability to open heavy doors, getting locked in and no-one quickly knowing she needed help, and the fact that anyone with ulterior motives could very very easily have been lurking down there. It wouldn't matter if my child was familiar with the restaurant: it felt an uncomfortable experience for me (a middle-aged city-dwelling adult) let alone a child

That lay out and set up doesn’t sound suitable for a 7YO on their own but I would allow it in a restaurant we knew, with a separate ladies, if the loos were close.

Not in that scenario. However, my DD at that age would go to the loo by herself when we ate out at our local Curry House. It only seated about 40 people and I could see the toilet entrance from where we used to sit. Different scenarios result in different outcomes/responses.

I think it depends on the place. If it’s somewhere I’d been several times and my 7yo knew it really really well then maybe? If new place with unfamiliar toilets/toilet doors then no definitely not.

Why on earth would I make this up?
The incident I recall, although I think there were possibly others, was in the toilets of the Asda supermarket in Clydebank. A 4 year old boy went into the toilets while his mother waited outside and he was assaulted by a young man who was later convicted of the offence.

Admittedly this was back in 2012 but after that people were generally advised not to allow children to use toilets unaccompanied and there were signs up in suprermarkets to that effect.

I don’t let my 6 and 7 yo DC go to the loo alone. The eldest tends to go with my 16 yo if we’re out without DH and youngest with me still. Too many horror stories.

Yep this story stayed with me. A teenage boy was also raped in the toilets in Sheffield train station last year in broad daylight.