AIBU to think a seven-year-old going alone to restaurant toilets is unsafe?

[MountainBiker]

Central London chain restaurant. Small 7 year old on the next table (definitely 7, she had a badge and a birthday balloon tied to the back of her chair) went off to the toilet on her own.
Toilets were out of sight, downstairs, in a corridor of floor to ceiling unisex cubicles.
Am I a helicopter parent or do most people think this is unsafe?
YABU: kids should be able to cope with this by age 7
YANBU: more supervision is required

Unless there is some considerable backstory to this, if my DD was too scared to use a restaurant toilet on her own at age 17 I would consider myself to have failed spectacularly at parenting.

It’s not that they are not allowed, I just encourage them not to! You live life your way and I will live it mine. I have worked with too many criminals and child abusers to take chances.

Too many rapists out there. Never go to a public toilet alone

what would you recommen a dad with a teenage daughter does?

Maybe they have been there 100 times

No.
I'd want to check they had flushed and washed their hands.
I went to a chinese buffet restaurant. 2 girls, about 7, came out of a cubicle, giggling. Left a turd in the loo and didn't wash their hands! Made me feel ill thinking of them touching all the serving spoons!
Doesn't matter how you bring them up. They can't be trusted to go on their own.

Oh dear I have been letting mine go in on their own all holidays … 7 is about the age you can be confident they will manage the locks etc.

The thought of them being attacked is horrifying but this could still happen to a teenager or even an adult.

I think supermarket loos and service stations are a bit different from a restaurant though, in that they are busy anonymous places where someone could be hanging around specifically to target the loos. whereas in a restaurant they would presumably be dining there, so staff would have got a good look at them and they couldn’t rush off without paying the bill!

By that logic, would you let her walk home alone at 10pm because you so let her live in a hosie with her male parent? I mean you can argue statistics, but surely you make reasonable adjustments to increase her safety ever you can.

No I wouldn't have sent her alone op. I have boys so would have sent them together possibly if not with DH (eldest is 11) or the 6 yo would have come in the field with me. And no, I don't think I'm violating the line 7 yos space and putting her in danger by taking my gojg kids in with me.

I don't think any one is suggesting they'll get lost

Not a chance. Why risk it? Lazy parenting.

No. We are on holiday and I take mini blondes 9 to the toilet - even tho we know the area well in which ever restaurant we are in

yes unlikely a man or even a woman would follow /stop /abuse her

but it happens

and it’s not a risk I’m prepared to take at her age

I live near to there and remember this, Dd was 11 at the time and using loos on her own but I stopped that if they were out of site for a while, and told her and her friends to always go in together in our local town.

Bloody hell, this is really frightening stuff! I’ve let my 5.5yo son go to the loos at the campsite alone throughout our holiday! I’m sure nothing happened to him but now I’m rethinking my parenting. Hopefully a nice family campsite is different to a restaurant or public loos, I wud not have let him go alone there so why did I think it was okay in the campsite? God id never forgive myself if he was ever assaulted.

If you were that concerned why not raise it with the parents?

Yes helicopter. I was at the park for hours at that age

Ladies loo with door in my line of vision - maybe. Not a chance if unisex/ mixed sex or if vibe suggests men may be present in ladies. Definitely not at all if location as OP describes.

If people have a child of the opposite sex (I get in this case adult women might have been there) they sometimes worry about taking them to the toilet. I've heard of mum with kids younger than 7 get other women moaning when they take their sons to the toilet. After that 11 year old boy got attacked in the men's toilets alone, I can see your point about a 7 year old. Some say it's safer for a girl. I've known of women attacking other women in Ladies for fun on nights out, but never heard of it with a girl. Can't be sure it won't happen though.

My dc definitely managed the loo solo by 7. They go on their own at school by then. I'd only have taken them if I thought it was a particularly unsafe location. Restaurant toilets are fairly safe imo.

Well I was in a pizza restaurant at lunchtime a couple of days ago with my grandchildren. I took my grandchildren to the loo and went into a cubicle with them as they are quite young. When we came out to wash our hands there were a couple of girls, aged about 6-8 without an adult. They were climbing on the counter surface where 3 sinks were. Their dirty footprints were all over the surface including the sink. I told them to get down and that they were making everything dirty. They told me that they couldn’t reach the tap from the floor. The sinks were very deep and the taps were at the back. So maybe you do need to go with your children. It is not just about whether your child can use the toilet but are they going to leave the toilet and sinks in a clean state for the people who follow.

Well I can't imagine how my dad would've been treated if he had come into the ladies with me.

That doesn't mean that was what was best for you tho I'm sorry to say

There was a girl who was assaulted in a Morrisons too, 20 years ago. I think of her every time I use ours, just one of those stories that stuck with me. She was 11.

I’d consider a campsite no safer than a public loo.
Campsites are frequented by odd characters. Most harmless. But both my mother and myself were sexually assaulted or attempted at campsites in our youth.

Anyone could be waiting in the cubicle waiting to attack. So, no. Sad to think but it does happen and is not worth the risk.

How the country's going at the moment I'll be taking my granddaughters to the toilet until they're 30 at least.