AIBU to think a seven-year-old going alone to restaurant toilets is unsafe?

[MountainBiker]

Central London chain restaurant. Small 7 year old on the next table (definitely 7, she had a badge and a birthday balloon tied to the back of her chair) went off to the toilet on her own.
Toilets were out of sight, downstairs, in a corridor of floor to ceiling unisex cubicles.
Am I a helicopter parent or do most people think this is unsafe?
YABU: kids should be able to cope with this by age 7
YANBU: more supervision is required

Not if it cannot be seen from the table, and I agree about locks being difficult or getting stuck.

Depends. Time of day, general business/visibility, general vibe, confidence of child, all sorts of factors.

But it's a really unnecessary risk with a potentially life ruining outcome. There is no reason to take an unnecessary risk like that

So you're OK with secondary age boys in the women's toilets? And secondary age girls in the men's?

What happened to you is awful. I'm sorry.

But why 12? This is a risk at any age.

This is wild to me. I have an eight year old DS and he’s probably been going to the men’s alone since age 5 or so. It wouldn’t occur to me to make him come to the ladies with me. At 7 I would have had no issues with this scenario.

If going to wash hands I'd be fine. If needing a wee I'd go with purely because I'm 35 and locks are not always obvious nor easy. My 6 year old prefers me to hold the door closed while she pees.

But I voted YABU because we do have to teach and trust them at some point and clearly if a child is comfortable going or mum/dad have other things they're doing at the time ect, I guess we don't know the circumstances so live and let live.

My 6 and 7 year old are not someone elses 6 and 7 year old and I know many more who are babied and many more who are way more independent.

Bucking the trend, I probably wouldn’t have taken mine in most circumstances though not being able to see them (another floor) might have meant I did in this scenario but I was a laid back mum

I would allow it in our familiar local restaurants but not in central london where everything is so busy and anonymous

Nope we never did with our DD when she was young.The story of a young girl raped in supermarket toilets has stayed with me, happened way before my DD was even born.

I'm usually out on my own with my 2 DC and always have to make a call as to whether its safe to let them do this. DD is the eldest and it wasn't always practical to take younger DS away from the restaurant table to accompany her to the loo but we had lots of conversations about safety and when DS got to about 8/9 he absolutely refused to go in the ladies with me and DD. He would rather hold on/have an accident than set foot in the girls loos. So I spent a lot of time hanging around outside men's toilets for a while and just hoping he didn't get stuck anywhere. Each pub/restaurant/cafe/park set up is different and I made decisions based on lots of different factors.

I don’t think it’s wrong to do it or wrong not to do it. My daughter wouldn’t have, my son would have. I parented them according to their needs.

My DD is 17 and still wants me to go with her when she goes the bathroom when we're out and she can't see us

This, would depend on the child and being a helicopter parent is not a positive thing may explain the ever increasing mental health issues in children

Under 12!! Don’t be ridiculous.
My 11 year old is out by himself most days and is catching the bus all over on his own!

This is a typo surely?

What do you do if they are 8 and too old to be going in the same sex toilets as the parent? My dad couldn't take me in the gents nor could he go n the ladies

I'm a grown adult and when I go to a particular wine bar that I really enjoy going to the toilets freak me out. In a basement, and they are really quite eerie. I hate going in there alone. If I had a female with me, I'd probably ask if they'd come with me but i'm always with my partner who is male.

i didn’t allow my daughter to go alone until she was about 10, but I have a friend who is a single dad and he had to let his daughter go much younger for practical reasons. Def 7 or so. They live in central London so that doesn’t really make any difference to the question to me

So you go on your own and you’re fine?
Despite them being ‘eerie’?

So a young girl should also go in the gents with Dad? Or Dad should go into the ladies?? Confused here

Not made up at all. Well known that there have been sexual assaults of children in supermarket toilets.

Nope!

But I remember being a teenager/20s and going out with friends, we always went together.

No way. I have been to some places where the toilets feel very isolated so I wouldn't be happy for a young child going alone. It's a risk no one needs to take.

I don't think it would be unsafe in terms of strangers, that wouldn't be on my mind tbh. We live in central London so wouldn't be extra vigilant because of the location.

But dd would prefer me to go with her and I have the habit of always going with her as it's a handy opportunity to use the loo myself and I might not get thr chance later. So I wouldn't have done it. It also feels a bit sad to send a young child off on her own on her birthday (as in the OP).

That's usually to gossip about the blokes lol