to be annoyed about this situation with neighbour and her dog?

[CantGetBackToSleep]

I’m lying awake because I don’t know what to do about this situation.

On Sunday our neighbour came to see us visibly upset. Her mum had been taken into hospital and she had been told to get there asap. Her mum lives in Scotland and we are in the South of England so she was panicking about getting there on time and also about who would look after her dog. We helped her book a flight as she was in a state shaking and in no state to think properly. She asked if we could have her dog for a few days. Reluctantly we agreed but said we were leaving to go on holiday on Friday evening so she would need to make other arrangements by Friday morning for him. We went and collected the dog and he has been with us since. We have our own dogs and they are all getting on well.

Our neighbour text me on Monday to say her mum had died. We had a brief text conversation and obviously I said how sorry I was to hear about her mum.

I text her on Wednesday morning to say that I know she has a lot to deal with but we really need to know what she’s doing about her dog as we are due to go away. I didn’t hear anything so I text her again yesterday to ask what she wanted us to do with the dog and got a text from another of her relatives from her phone saying our neighbour is very upset and isn’t in the right place to sort this out. I replied to say I understood but that when we agreed to have the dog, it was on the condition that she made other arrangements for the dog by Friday morning as we are due to go on holiday. I didn’t get a reply. I tried to call last night but it went to voicemail. I had already called our nearest boarding kennels who do have space so I told her on the voicemail that I could drop him at kennels but she needs to give them her payment details. I still haven’t had a reply from my neighbour.

What do we do? I’ve asked other neighbours and they won’t have him. My parents are having our dogs while we are away but are not willing to take the neighbours dog as well.

A friend has suggested I drop him at our local vets which is the vet my neighbour uses but I don’t think they would be ok with that. Another friend said if it comes to it to call the rspca, explain the situation and say he’s basically been abandoned.

I’m so stressed. I know my neighbour has lost her mum but we are not missing our holiday.

I regularly have stray cats turn up. We feed them and they stay. My mother was the same. Mums cats usually then had kittens. Luckily, mine never have.

Oh. And I also paid vet bills for the stray cats whenever they were ill.

Well that’s good for you. Not everyone likes or wants to look after other people’s dogs, has limitless money to spend on randoms and their pets, or has empathy extending to having the piss taken out of them by cheeky fuckers. Everyone has been devastated by the death of loved ones at some point. My friend was widowed young with pets and small children. She still had to deal with her responsibilities alongside her grief.

You’re the neighbour aren’t you….lol.

None of this is OPs problem. She looked after the dog for days. You take on a dog knowing life throws all sorts of shit at you but you still have to look after your dog.

One of my parents died in a country much further away. Guess what, I still had to make sure my children and animals were looked after. Imagine the cheek of thinking this is a neighbours problem to solve. 😂😂😂🤪🤪🤪🤪

I'm struggling to take your posts seriously.

Other people don’t want multiple animals for various reasons. Like costs of feeding, insurance, vaccines and what to do with them when you go on holiday!

This dog wasn’t stray anyway, he just has a cunt as an owner.

But OP has told her where the dog is before blocking her so it hasn't disappeared. I'm not sure why you keep ignoring that.

I'm also not sure what else the neighbour would expect in this situation with ignoring OP's messages and knowing that she was going away by Friday.

Do you think the neighbour's relative who rang the OP to try to force her to be the one to handle dog care for an unspecified amount of time, despite her going on holiday and having told the dog owner when she would be going, also has mental health issues? Perhaps OP has mental health issues, too.

HarshbutTrue2

Your empathy doesn't seem to extend to OP who is the person who actually helped the dog owner.

I can imagine how difficult it was for her, trying to get ready to go on holiday, the neighbour not answering texts and a relative of the neighbour having the cheek to text her it wasn't appropriate to get in touch about her dog.
And in the midst of all this she is supposed to have had time to phone round various charities.

Your posts are getting more and more unreasonable.

We haven't explored the dog owners marital status or work status. Legally, she is only allowed a few days off work for bereavement. In reality, many people take longer. I have known several people take 2-3 months off because they simply couldn't face returning to work. Their doctors supplied notes for anxiety, stress and depression

So, potentially, the OP should have envisaged having the dog for several months when she was told it would be a few days and would not affect her holiday? That’s madness. The OP has let the neighbour know where the dog is. No doubt the vet has also rung the neighbour. If the neighbour is so anxious, stressed and depressed that she can’t look after her dog, then her relatives (such as the cheeky one who rang OP) can step in and do it. It’s not appropriate to lump OP with it and tell her to suck it up.

People on this thread are absolutely bonkers. OP went above and beyond - no good deed etc.

We haven't explored the dog owners marital status or work status

We haven't done what now?! 😂

Sounds precisely like the kind of irresponsible person that wouldn't cough up. I'd say they're not interested in the dog and want to abandon it. I note a lot of people on here are suggesting the vet but I'm intrigued to know since when did vets act as agents for ownership disputes? I was under the impression that they cared for sick animals and that's where their remit ends. Try local press, local radio or social media. Maybe some kind soul will come forward. Failing that, dog warden or RSPCA.

Pretty much everyone has lost someone close to them. It’s a sad situation, but given we all die, hardly unusual.

Exactly. The relative who was kindly carrying out the dog owners personal admin (by calling OP and telling her to leave them alone) could just as easily have read the owner's card details over the phone to the kennels.
I wouldn't part with my money and expect it back from this CF.

Maybe the neighbour genuinely couldn’t cope for completely valid reasons, but that still doesn’t mean the OP did anything wrong.

What else was she supposed to do except leave the dog somewhere safe and let the neighbour know where it was?

The person who messaged OP to say that the neighbour couldn’t cope could have paid the kennels or come up with another solution but they didn’t.

Expectations that the OPs parents should look after an extra dog are ridiculous. For all we know OPs dogs are easy to care for miniature poodles and the neighbours dog is a great big Labrador. Maybe the parents would prefer not to look after OPs dogs but do it out of love for their daughter so understandably don’t want to extend that to a stranger.

No one criticising the Ozp has come up with a better solution than what actually happened.

But you assume the owner is devastated. It happens, but we dont know if it happened here. And even if, OP is still not in charge of the said dog and should not be expected to pay. I think one of the messages from OP mentiond someone messaged her on behalf of the neighbour, so surely there are people who can support the lady by helping her wire the money.
Also ironically YOU need to educate yourself on the 'you can get pip or something for severe depression'- if the neighbout even has it. What is the 'or something'- it is actually very difficult to claim PIP for MH, although media and mumnset claim it's very easy.

But wy should OP cough up ANY money at all (and it's probably a few hundreds, pet care is not cheap) to cover for the neighbour's dog? Also if the neighbour does struggle, then she wont have money to reimburse OP anyways.

And considering that OP has just paid for her holiday, she may not have money to cover the dog's boarding (and why should she?)

I hope the OP is now enjoying her holiday... Do let us know the fall-out from all this!

I've lost both my parents and my husband. I agree that you're not thinking straight when you're bereaved.

However, you do what you have to do. You cannot ignore those who are dependent on you, human or animal.

The NDN had a relative contact the OP. Between them, the relative and NDN could have answered the OP and organised care instead of ignoring the fact that the OP had told them that she could only look after the dog until a specific date.

You absolutely cannot be selfish enough to turn your problem into someone else's problem.

As I've said upthread, when my husband died during lockdown I was left screaming at four walls on my own. I still had to organise the funeral, inform everyone, deal with Police Scotland for an 'unexpected death', liaise with relatives who didn't want to travel from England to Scotland during Covid but still wanted input into the funeral...

It was absolute hell, but I did what I had to because it needed to be done. It is nothing to do with being more or less capable than other people.

Previously, when my father died I had to organise a temporary care package for Mum until she could move in with me, keep things going at work and care for my poorly husband. Maybe I could just have decided that it wasn't my responsibility to look after my mum and my husband?

The NDN has a relative with her. One of them could have responded to the OP's requests for action.

Oh - and I resent the implication that if you actually do what needs to be done that you're not 'devastated'. How utterly insulting.

It's bollocks. CF neighbour and her relative expected OP to force the dog onto her parents. You can't just take someone's dog to a boarding kennel and not leave financial details, and they won't accept dogs without vaccination papers anyway. None of this was OP's responsibility, or within her scope to achieve.

Has the statutory claim of neurodivergence been raised yet? It usually is, whenever people are roaring pro and anti bad behaviour.

The vet isn't a boarding kennels. I am amazed that most of the posters on this thread don't know what a vet is.

Vets aren't charities. Many of them are owned by private equity companies. Vets are businesses.

The dog will have been passed on to the local pound or a dog charity.