To find this entitled?

[Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh]

This doesn't apply to people with childcare or caring responsibilities, any sort of illness or disability which means they cannot work full time.
But I've seen a few people on here or social media basically saying 'I can do supply/care work/0 hours work and sometimes only get a shift or two a week, because my husband earns well.'

So they're pretty much choosing to swan about and avoid full-time work, because they assume their husband or partner will carry on in their high-earning, full time role.

What happens if this husband loses their job, becomes sick, or just decides they're sick of having to be the breadwinner?

I see it all the time on supply teacher pages,'Oh I've only had 1 day of work in 2 months but it's fine because my husband is the breadwinner!!'

There are other jobs where you could make a living, you just don't want to do them, yet you still want your dream forever house and luxury lifestyle. If it were the wife full-time and the husband taking the piss there would be uproar.

I have been in these circs. It was a partnership and it was OUR money and OUR decisions.

so self respect is determined only by paid employment?

Very very few single earning households live a ‘life of luxury’. Most have made the decision to have one parent at home / working very part-time because their very low wages are lower than the cost of childcare.

Sure there are millionaires whose spouse leads a life of leisure and luxury at their expense, but that is a tiny minority of couples where one works more hours than the other.

YANBU!!

I couldn’t imagine my DH stressing out in a 40+ hour week job and I’m there doing just a few hours.

I’d be so embarrassed and I’d never be so selfish.

I am someone who needs equality in a relationship.
It’s really important that my DP does not see me as a maid.
We both work, both cook, both clean, both parent etc - I would never settle for anything less than equal partners.

I was raised in a home of DV and surrounded by women who couldn’t leave abusive marriages due to not having enough income.

I feel physically ill when I hear about women not having their own careers.

Juat to add, there some extremely tragic and unfortunate circumstances where the life insurance isn't paid. I've known it happen to someone before and it left her in dire straits.

Obviously, everyone does their own risk assessment.

For me, it would always come down to an unwillingness to erode my freedom and self worth.

I feel physically ill when I hear about women not having their own careers

Er, well being sick/disabled is why some women don't have careers... or that some people are just not capable of earning big. We need people on all rungs of the ladder for society to function.

I’d say it’s determined by being able to stand on your own two feet.

What’s the difference between someone relying on their DP vs still living at home and relying on their parents.

If we were talking about potential new partners and I said this guy doesn’t work and still lives with his mum (but in return cooks and cleans), not one person would tell me to get with him.

Obviously no one is talking about people who cannot work due to disabilities as OP has already said.

I have always daydreamed about being "kept". I wonder what it's like?
Unfortunately my dp's salary is only 425,000 pa, so I doubt we'd be unable to manage all bills without my additional, pt, 12,000 pa

Yes, but some people are simply not capable of more than low paid work. They don't have to be disabled for that.

Oh you will feel so ill when I tell you I’ve not worked full time since 1995, not had a career and indeed for many years (when my children were older) did not work at all.

In mumsnetland it is 😂

ime dh also relied on me. It was, and still is, a partnership where we support each other that’s what marriage is imo.

I wouldn’t be keen on this, what if DH decides to leave, or what if he dies and you need to work, gets ill etc, no private pension, and possibly not paid enough into NI to get a full state pension. Not my idea of a work ethic but everyone is different

I clicked YANBU instead of YABU. I don't think it matters as long as both partners agree.

I think it is just down to the individuals . What suits them , if the man is happy then no issue. Some men like to be the provider . My husband would love to earn enough so that I didn’t have to work and he would love that to be a setup where he comes home to a clean house , dinner done and sex on tap ! He loves buying me things , nice clothes and paying for my hair etc and although he doesn’t ever ask I know he likes this being known .

But , although he does pay more and treats me - I work full time and have a good career and we couldn’t cope without my wage too.

However , I could not live that trophy wife life . I couldn’t not work and spend his money. But if we were in that position to do that and we did live like that, he would have no problem . Some people don’t .

What the fuck are you on about? Why should everyone feel obliged to work if they don't need to?

you are assuming that none of the consequences have been though through. I will receive a full state pension through voluntary contributions and have a private pension.

Low paid work is fine.
I spent the majority of my career doing low paid work because I left school with no qualifications so having to work my way up.

Each to their own indeed. But i couldn't just decide tomorrow i fancied pursuing more hobbies, my husband doesn't earn enough to cover both of us and it's not his job to

Well there you go. You can't afford to live on one wage. Some people can so they do. How is it entitled? What are they taking from the community?

But you worked your way up out of low paid work. Many people never do.

The only women I know/know of who do this are looking after kids and running the home, effectively unpaid labour, so yes, YABU.

Yes it does.

It’s like going skydiving without checking your parachute works.

You are ok because you are married but you have to make sure your marriage lasts, else how are you going to cope.

I would never want to rely on another person for my entire existence.

I would never let anyone have that much power over me.

I also find it unattractive when I hear that men don’t work (if physically capable) and it’s not something I would look for in a partner as for me it’s important that we are equals.

At least they're working!

Me too.