Ex has just hurt DS aged 7

[moryn]

Ez has DS 3 nights and I have him 4.

Had just got in from work and received a phone call from ex’s phone but it was DS. He was distressed saying that his dad has hurt him.

He was ‘grabbing’ him with force and throw him onto the bed. He was also swearing at him multiple times and used the F word. DS said he was hurting him and felt very unsafe.

I could hear ex in the background saying that DS has kicked off as they were leaving a BBQ ‘as usual, as he does every week’.

I immediately went to pick him up. DS extremely distressed, saying he was/is scared. Is repeatedly asking me to lock all the doors and windows as he’s scared his dad will come back and hurt him. He says he doesn’t feel safe right now.

DS has been crying saying he never thought he’d have to go through something like this.

WTF do I do? Of course comforting him and lots of cuddles.

I seriously hope you don't have children in your care.

You need to prepare for the future, its likely your son will be too scared to go back to his dad's, so you need evidence that there is a reason you can't force him. So you need to log this somewhere with an official place like police or social services and photograph any marks that might come up.
Jot down the chain of events / communication.

Get medical care. All injuries aren't visible. They can also document what your son says.

Also police and write to school.

Ringing the police won't be easy op but ime you won't ever regret doing so
.

You need to get realistic and off mumsnet and into the real world.
This will come back and bite you in the arse if this comes out through the school or something happens again and social services are going to be investigating you for not reporting it

Thing is whether DS is telling the truth or not is irrelavant at this point. Your job is to believe him and act accordingly.
We had similar when one of dds friends said her mum was being inappropriate it wasn't our job to work out whether it was true or not so we reported it and the system did its thing.
DS is unlikely to want to go back to his dads, and I certainly wouldn't feel safe sending my son there without official supervision. You need to report it to someone so he can't force visits.

Can't believe some on here are defending the ex. I really hope those people don't have dc themselves.

Yes, kids can be manipulative. Kids can be out-and-out little shits sometimes. It does NOT justify physical violence towards a child. Nothing does. This little boy is now terrified to be around his father. Nothing he may or may not have done excuses what the father has done.

OP, please report this assault to the police if you haven't already.

Remember, Your child is going to remember how you respond to this.

you brush this under the rug and he doesn't see you responding to protect him, you are going to damage you relationship with him as much as his dad has.

Police and social services.

Social services at a minimum. Its not your job to investigate this but you need help to safeguard your son.

FFS you need to report it. I reported an incident with my DH, not my ex. He needed support and he got it. You have to report it.

Ive been through all this. You MUST call the police and social services at once even if o .arks or it will escalate and you will have zero evidence in court and will be accused of parental alienation and they may take him away from you. It happened to me and I had a hell of a fight to prove what happened. You must report evefy incident.

That’s a very grown up thing for a child to say, he never thought he’d have to go through something like this, I dint think I’ve ever heard a child this age speak like that,

Police.

He assaulted your child.

Any further visits should be supervised. He cannot be trusted.

Pardon?

The man is clearly unstable.

I haven’t either and I’ve worked with children for over thirty years.
That's not to say I don’t believe your young lad OP because he’s clearly very frightened.

Psychological trauma?

He assaulted your son.

Wake up.

It is not for OP or anyone else here to decide whether her DS is lying or being “manipulative”. The Police and SS who are the experts in this will investigate accordingly.

And as for the stories about children “making up” abuse allegations. IME it’s often the rubbish way these are dealt with by adults that cause children to change their story… usually because they are in fear.

Whatever happened, from the description OPs son was terrified.

Call the cops

This - young bones are often still growing and stress fractures can occur as a result of vicious twisting of arms etc. your child is also psychologically and emotionally harmed - that needs medical/clinical support now too.

If, as some suggest, DS is being manipulative (and this is unlikely as the Ex didn’t deny it or stope OP from collecting her child), the police and social services are trained to tease this out.

Please go to hospital today to get him properly checked, contact the social services crisis line for help and advice, and if they say you contact the police, you do that too.

👏👏👏

Have you called the Police yet?

I’m not far enough through the comments yet, but I already know you’re going to get ripped apart for this one…

absolutely ridiculous thing to say. If a seven year old says they’re assaulted you believe them, not ask the alleged perpetrator whether he did it. 🤦‍♀️

And you obviously never should!

what if he just shouted at him nothing more? You think the police should be called? How will that affect their relationship? Maybe dad is stricter than mom & gets his own way more. There are ‘what if’s ’ we & mom only have info from an upset 7yr old be nice to have some more info.