Ex has just hurt DS aged 7

[moryn]

Ez has DS 3 nights and I have him 4.

Had just got in from work and received a phone call from ex’s phone but it was DS. He was distressed saying that his dad has hurt him.

He was ‘grabbing’ him with force and throw him onto the bed. He was also swearing at him multiple times and used the F word. DS said he was hurting him and felt very unsafe.

I could hear ex in the background saying that DS has kicked off as they were leaving a BBQ ‘as usual, as he does every week’.

I immediately went to pick him up. DS extremely distressed, saying he was/is scared. Is repeatedly asking me to lock all the doors and windows as he’s scared his dad will come back and hurt him. He says he doesn’t feel safe right now.

DS has been crying saying he never thought he’d have to go through something like this.

WTF do I do? Of course comforting him and lots of cuddles.

Police

Police. Now.

Call the cops.

Any injuries? Take photos of them.

does he need medical attention at all? Might be higher priority than police.

I think you do need to ring the police. Just as you would if it was an unrelated adult that had done this to him. I hope you can settle him to sleep soon, poor lad.

I’ve checked him, no injuries.

I didn’t know if police was overkill as no marks, didn’t hit or push him etc.

Agree with police. This needs investigating, this could only be the tip of the iceberg.

Does he have injuries? Did ex explain what happened..does he deny hurting him? Had anything happened before or are you aware of anger issues?

Police and children's social care. Don't send him for any further contact for the time being. I work in this field

Ex didn’t come to the door when I was there, his parents did (he lives with them). He didn’t deny it on the phone. But he hasn’t explained to me directly what has happened.

Report immediate to EDT at Social Services, or take DS to A&E, so that they can document any injuries.

He grabbed him and threw him while shouting and swearing. It's assault and potentally battery

It’s not overkill. I would totally ring the police.

Your ds must see you taking action. He has been assaulted.

Please report to the police now.

I agree with other posters. You need to report it so that it is on record.

You have to be smart here, @moryn

If DS mentions it to someone else and you haven't been proactive you could create a lot of hassle for yourself.

If I was you, I'd report it to the police, or at least call the non-emergency number/your local station for advice. Then I'd put something in writing to EX stating clearly what DS has said and saying that you'll be hanging on to him until you know what the best next steps are.

Did your Ex ever display any aggressive or violent tendencies when you were together?

This would be cause for a police investigation if it was an adult on adult so even more so if it’s an adult on child. Advocate for your child and call the bloody police.

My dc's therapist said believing, dealing with amd ensuring dc are away from their abuser os critical to recovery.

You don't know of this os a one off. Past or future. Protect your ds at all costs. Even if you yourself worry about repercussions
Build a case to keep ds from his df.

What did his parents say?

Never.

Nothing. That they were at a BBQ and they had a lovely time but DS kicked off when it was time to leave.

They weren’t there and I think arrived mid-situation, from what I can gather.

What an awful thing to happen. I would ring the Police and inform them. They'll likely inform children's social care. Just let them all know you won't be sending him back to Dad's. You have no option but to report it x

You need to protect your child from this escalating and contact the police tonight. You may not be able to see visible injuries, but there could be.. let alone the emotional and mental damage done.

Following on from my previous comment, if you don’t report this and someone else does.. if your child discloses this to another trusted adult - maybe when he goes back to school etc.. you will then be investigated by child protection as to why you didn’t report it. You don’t need that can of worms.