Summer holiday DH resentment!

[Lillyofthevalleyblooms]

Anyone else absolutely resent their DH during the summer holidays? He just fucks off first thing in the morning. Waltzes back in at around 7:30pm might just mention that he’s off to a “meeting” or “choir practice” which then leads to a pint with his mates (this happens about 2/3 times a week) Meanwhile im a prisoner in my own home with 2 crazy kids trying to WFH 3 days a week with no ability to just leave my own home without kids screaming, fights needing sorting, clothes to change, socks to find etc etc. If I mentioned last minute to my DH that I “had a meeting” (committee meetings not work meetings) and did it about 3 times a week there would be uproar!! Literally hating my life and the situation im in right now, found myself resenting the kids yesterday! I packed them into the car at 9:00pm the other evening because we were home alone yet again just to go for a spin in the car so i could delay bedtime as much as possible . Filling our days with activities never goes well because they HATE leaving the house 🙈

I'd drop the kids found to mil for your work days.

I would also pick out shirts that have slogans on the back. "Oh sorry dh, did I pick up the 'im a massive twat' shirt again?"

Great, you can kick him out and be confident you can manage without him.

Same. Made bed lie.

My df is a bit like this (not a farmer) in that he can’t do anything. He went from living with his dm to living with my dm.
he can’t do anything, but I blame my dm for enabling this for the last 53 years!

he fully respects my dm though.

I am not sure you are getting anything from this relationship OP. I’d leave, or turf him out if it’s your place he is living in

Oh, you thought that? Based on what, exactly. This situation is entirely of your own making.

They were not in bed because DH waltzed in that night at 7:30, ruined the bed time routine, wanted his supper announced he was off to a meeting, wanted me to pick out his clothes, wash a certain shirt, iron it, clean it

Please tell us you at least told him to fuck right off and sort out his own clothes?

Tell him he can bloody learn. Why should you have an extra child to cater for just because he chooses to be so helpless?

Same. I just don't get it.

If he wants to cut off his nose to spite his face, fine. He'll soon get tired enough of never being able to go out just because he's too helpless to find a shirt.

This is utterly ridiculous. Honestly. Just leave the fucker.

I hope you point out regularly to her what century she is living in? And that you would be ashamed to raise children to be as utterly helpless as her son?

Have you ever asked him how he thinks his children would be fed and clothed if you were a good little housewife all the time and didn't earn any money?

I agree

I kicked out my husband for far less than this 💅

What's the score with where you live, OP? Do his parents own it?

Well so what? Why do you care what his mates think? I’m astounded that he’s been like this forever and you could fancy him enough to date him, let alone marry and have children with him. He sounds pathetic, incompetent, and pretty stupid.

Do you want to live the rest of your life like this? Surely any option is better than staying with this useless selfish idiot. I simply cannot get my head round the fact that women are still living like this in this century in the western world.

Let him, sounds like your life would be easier

Do his parents own the house you live in? If so, do you pay them rent out of your salary?

If you do, stop paying it right now.

I would imagine that your in-laws give him money that you never see, probably in cash. You are being massively financially abused.

So he’s getting cash in hand tax-free from his dad? Since otherwise how can he afford to go to the pub?

You’re not his housewife. You’re a working mum. And you are a skivvy.

My mum was a full time housewife - she had respect from my dad. She managed the household finances, he had his chores at home (admittedly not many) and he did them without complaint.

Being a housewife isn’t supposed to feel like enslavement.

Well surely you didn’t produce supper, or washed his shirt, or ironed it ?? Stop doing things for him. Just stop.

Have you ever had a conversation with him about how he needs to do more ?

Let him sulk. Ignore the poor me attitude.

To answer your question: no I don’t resent my DH because he isn’t a financially abusive twat.

If he doesn’t get paid where does his beer money come from?

You are driving yourself into the ground to subsidise his parents business. You would be better off on your own.

Take back control OP. He doesn’t financially contribute, he doesn’t do anything in the home or for your shared kids, and it sounds (understandably) like you don’t like him. There is literally no point / benefit to being married to him - I can tell you woudk be 1000# happier of you left hin

Well there you go. Problem solved. Can't believe you were able to shag him. Immature pathetic man child.

The only thing you can do is leave him

So you have three options.

1. Do nothing and continue you as you are - which isn’t working and is making you unhappy
2. Make changes - start getting dh to do stuff, or to stop doing things for him - you imply this isn’t going to work
3. Leave - probably your best option. Move away with your dc and make a life for you. If you need a home, dh can move back with his mummy and daddy. Be bold and start living your life.