Summer holiday DH resentment!

[Lillyofthevalleyblooms]

Anyone else absolutely resent their DH during the summer holidays? He just fucks off first thing in the morning. Waltzes back in at around 7:30pm might just mention that he’s off to a “meeting” or “choir practice” which then leads to a pint with his mates (this happens about 2/3 times a week) Meanwhile im a prisoner in my own home with 2 crazy kids trying to WFH 3 days a week with no ability to just leave my own home without kids screaming, fights needing sorting, clothes to change, socks to find etc etc. If I mentioned last minute to my DH that I “had a meeting” (committee meetings not work meetings) and did it about 3 times a week there would be uproar!! Literally hating my life and the situation im in right now, found myself resenting the kids yesterday! I packed them into the car at 9:00pm the other evening because we were home alone yet again just to go for a spin in the car so i could delay bedtime as much as possible . Filling our days with activities never goes well because they HATE leaving the house 🙈

To the farm. Where he does not get paid for the work he does. It just goes back into the farm… which he will one day inherit. So i have to pay all our bills until “the day he inherits”

We only have my salary anyway. He does not get paid. He works free labour for the farm he will inherit.

Knew it would be a farmer after your second post.

Stop running around after him then. So what if he sulks and doesn’t go out and gives you the silent treatment? Doesn’t sound like he’s a joy to spend time with anyway. It’s pathetic that he “can’t” iron his own shirts or make his own lunch or whatever, but it’s equally as pathetic that you pander to it. Look after yourself and the kids and leave him to it. Or better still, get some self respect and leave his sorry ass.

he will move back with his parents

You have to take accountability for putting up with it for so long.

Make plans to leave.

Then let him! What positives is he bringing to your life?

I think his parents would be an excellent place for him to reside.

are you seriously paying for everything and looking after the kids whilst he works for free on the family farm and doesn’t contribute at home?

fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Oh, don't worry, my MIL also thinks men/ boys.shouldn't do housework or cook. But I just ignore her. My husband did leave home at 18.

I didn't mean to berate you. Sorry about that. But please walk out the door and leave the kids to him.
He will learn.

What the fuck am I reading?!

I was going to say “holiday clubs” but now I’m saying “holiday clubs plus leave the ridiculous, stupid man child”.

I thought it was you. Recognized the farm boy plot.

You have one previous life. Are you actually married? Does he own any assets? Would your family support you if you left? Would his parents insist on 50/50 for the kids if you did? (That is insist he insist in order to cut down costs and tie you locally .)

If you don’t leave you are stuck wiping his ass and cooking his meals FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Well tell him you are mothering his children and you do not have time to mother him, a grown adult man. Tell his mother the same.

Then book in as many evenings out as he has. People can have quiche and salad from
the supermarket for their tea. Or bread and cheese. Enough is enough.

You sound more like a dresser for a Lord than a wife. Pick his clothes out. Why can't he pick his own clothes. If it needs washing and ironing he has to find something else to wear.

Why can't he take the kids with him to work? His DM can look after them. They can knock about fields and a farmhouse as well as at home.

If he is working and not being paid, the farm is breaking national minimum wage law, regardless of whether he will inherit. But really, what possessed you to stay married to a man who has brought no money in the household for years? (If that really is the situation.) You would actually be better off on your own.

Let him then. You won't be any worse off as he doesn't bring any money into the house.

And looking at your other posts he treats you like a sex puppet rather than a wife. What a prince.

I recognise your posts now - you post about him all the time and nothing ever changes. What is it you want, exactly?

LEAVE

you have nothing to lose except your resentment

he doesn’t earn, doesn’t help, doesn’t own

what have you got to lose?

The tit for tat thing about you going out as well, is totally justified but means you’ll never see each other.
I’d get some legal advice as a start. I wouldn’t tolerate this situation as he won’t change.

That's perfect, a happy future ahead for you.

Oh it's you.
He is never going to change. It's up to you to make the change. Only you are stopping you.
Ps who gives a fuck what his mum says.

Wow. Shocking read. Can he wipe his own arse?

Good riddance then! They’d be welcome to him! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I thought it was bad enough to just leave before I read he has no income.

Seriously, leave. You'd all be better off without him.

So what? I had sympathy for your OP, but the more you post, the less sympathy I have. Instead of just accepting your shitty husband and shitty father of your children, why not do something about it?

Imagine how your kids are going to turn out with this being modelled as how relationships are.