Summer holiday DH resentment!

[Lillyofthevalleyblooms]

Anyone else absolutely resent their DH during the summer holidays? He just fucks off first thing in the morning. Waltzes back in at around 7:30pm might just mention that he’s off to a “meeting” or “choir practice” which then leads to a pint with his mates (this happens about 2/3 times a week) Meanwhile im a prisoner in my own home with 2 crazy kids trying to WFH 3 days a week with no ability to just leave my own home without kids screaming, fights needing sorting, clothes to change, socks to find etc etc. If I mentioned last minute to my DH that I “had a meeting” (committee meetings not work meetings) and did it about 3 times a week there would be uproar!! Literally hating my life and the situation im in right now, found myself resenting the kids yesterday! I packed them into the car at 9:00pm the other evening because we were home alone yet again just to go for a spin in the car so i could delay bedtime as much as possible . Filling our days with activities never goes well because they HATE leaving the house 🙈

Waltz out that door the minute he waltzes in.
Consider finding a way to work out of the home. Presumably you are doing doing child care whilst working, but if you are, that is the most stressful thing.
Is there an office you can work from? Can you get childcare ,obviously not at your cost, but from joint money.
Try to change how you and he view your current set-up, ie you as the the default parent, you who has to work around children, you as the solver of all problems.
Why do your DC hate leaving the house, and why are they not already in bed by 9pm? Do they have special needs?

When he waltzes in, have your bag ready and waltz out. Say whatever you want to say - catching up with sally, need to finish some work and going to do it at Carols as I can’t work with teh kids here, I think you need some parenting time in the kids summer holidays, I’m saving our marriage, and keep walking. Straight out the door. You can message him once you’ve left. ‘You do this all the time. I’m not coping. I do everything for the kids- what was the last active parenting you did? I have a job too, and im realising you have no respect for that.’

No they dont have special needs, they just love being home. They were not in bed because DH waltzed in that night at 7:30, ruined the bed time routine, wanted his supper announced he was off to a meeting, wanted me to pick out his clothes, wash a certain shirt, iron it, clean it, by the time i went to start the bedtime routine again they were overstimulated and i was worse so i snapped and said i need to get out of here and they came with.

Give it a go, why on earth would there be uproar given he does it all the bloody time? Blimey, you’re not a doormat, woman up and do the same or tell him he needs to actually parent his own dc occasionally!

Does he not work. Why is it only summer holidays.

I hope you did none of his tasks! Show him where the washing machine/iron are and chill out. Bloody hell, I’m getting very annoyed on your behalf! Why would you do any of those things?

YABVU to have allowed this to happen. Take back control and make your useless, waste of space husband an equal parent to your shared children.

In other words, STOP being a doormat.

Is he not capable of making his own supper, ironing his own shirt and so on at the very least, since you're dealing with the kids? Why would you stop their bedtime routine to do these things for a grown man?

He works on his dads farm. Well i resent him most times just feel it 100% worse during the holidays when kids are home.

No he is not capable.

You chose to marry and have kids with a man who is not capable of the most basic household tasks? YABU.

This is bollocks and you know it.

If you somehow don’t know it, look up “weaponised incompetence”.

Why is he not capable has he never lived on his own. Did his parents wait on him hand and foot and you just carried on doing it when you got married. What would he do if you had to go in hospital for an operation or too ill to do anything.

He has never lived on his own.

Of course he is, and if he's not, oh well, that's his problem.
Was he like this from your first dates? If you're miserable and the man is pointless and a burden, start the divorce.

If we were bot married his mummy would still be waiting on him hand and foot. She still does when he is down the farm. He showed up to a family gathering once without a coat. I was a terrible wife.

And yet you picked him and procreated with him

What a prize he sounds.

I literally have ZERO sympathy for women in your position, OP.

I don’t give a fuck if that makes me a heartless ghoul, it’s the truth.

You chose a useless cunt of a husband then HAD MULTIPLE CHILDREN with said useless cunt, and now you’re scratching your head as to how you got here? Give me a break.

It’s been a while since I’ve felt despair at a thread and I’m on holiday right now so more chilled than usual (mind you, I’ve had a drink).

I'm absolutely with you, honestly. Some people need to take responsibility for their own choices in life.

Yeah part of me thought i would stupidly be an excellent little house wife turns out i dont like it

I am regretting my life choices every single fucking day.

You are enabling him and nothing will change unless you stop being a martyr.

You should only regret your choices if you insist on staying married to such a useless specimen.

I know a lot of people complain about there husbands on here that they don't help out much but I have never seen anyone say they are not at all capable of doing anything.

What can i say, thought he would respect me enough to help