Not to want to wash my hair over a sink with a bloody sieve?!

[RulesControlTheFun]

Ok first world problems, but DH, DS, DD and I are staying with my elderly aunt and uncle. They have a massive house with modern bathrooms but DA had just told me that I cannot wash my shoulder length hair in the shower as it will block the drains, “But it’s ok as you can wash it over the sink and catch all the hair in a sieve”! FFS!!!

If I try to do this the water will go everywhere (the basin is tiny), the shampoo and conditioner will go in my eyes if I bend forward, and if I try to kneel backwards it will give me severe neck pain (and water everywhere again).

I normally wash my hair every three days which should have been last night, and we don’t go home until tomorrow. And we’re in the middle of nowhere without a car, though I’m going to have to insist on a diversion on our day trip to buy some dry shampoo.

I’m really annoyed she didn’t tell me this before hand as at least I could have washed my hair just before coming. And what about my 11 year old who has really long thick hair? Mercifully she’s not due to wash hair until tomorrow, but if it had needed washing sooner we’d be stuffed.

😩

If they have a cesspool as my parents do being out in the sticks...you can't put chemicals down it etc..

They are a pain (cesspools) and definitely change how you use water

The water saving just sounds kind about nature

But them a bottle of Mr Muscle drain clearer. There's one for hair blockages.

How is hair going to block the drain if you're showering in a bucket?

Other than being nice to elderly childless relatives why do you visit? They do have pretty colored buckets but that’s not enough to entice me 😁 I wouldn’t take myself let alone my kids to anyone’s house who won’t let me shower standing safely in the shower and wash my hair every single day. And a cold room at Christmas? The worst.

next year don’t make plans with them. If they inquire why aren’t you visiting tell them the truth…there are too many rules and it’s not enjoyable. take a real vacation and relax

I have refused people’s invitations multiple times based on the sheer uncomfortableness of their homes…ex MIL bedroom with twin beds reeking of moth balls/tiny guest bathroom filled to the brim with hotel shampoos and other backstock so no place to even rest your toothbrush. dirty floors with hard rice bits everywhere from her dog bowls and her two giant poodles which she allowed to knock over my 3 y.o by simply opening the door on them and they crashed out and ran right over her twice! And altho she bought food she seemed surprised and irritated when we actually ate it. She was a terrible
cook and the store bought tuna salad (which she was “saving” for Sunday brunch with her boyfriend) was the only edible item. Married a decade only stayed once.

Just wash your hair in the shower. If she questions you , say oh yes I washed it over the sink as instructed.

Had to stay over to look after elderly relative who is extremely pernickety - she told me the shower was ‘broken’ as she didn’t want it used. I just said no it wasn’t as I have already had a shower in it !!!! She was not happy but I needed one to function.

Why would I be joking?

from when my daughter was able, she went into the garden to brush her long thick hair, tossed it over her head and kept brushing, she does it still, if its raining or too cold she has a hair towel she lays in the bath and brushes her hair then shakes
the towel into the bin, otherwise the carpet would be like a birds nest in Spring
hair catchers are essential, quickly placed over the bath plughole when releasing bath water
we don’t use hairspray or spray polish, spray anything, it is a sprayless zone,
this isn’t unusual - we don’t have a garage either come to think of it

No cesspool, normal mains drainage.

And I thought some of my relative were odd....

Put the sieve over drain in shower … same thing.

Blimey,
what goes on behind closed (bathroom) doors they can remain oblivious to !
agree with your husband - just crack on and let normal behaviour happen

Although OP then says they are rich and mobile, I agree with @Slategrey788
(and also with a PP who says that old people get fixated on things).

In their defence;

Admirable they want to reuse water. Whether an area has a drought warning in place doesn't really matter: water is sent all over the place, and we all waste things that could be reused.

My bath drain got blocked this year. Nothing usual worked, was hideous to sort out. Plunging knackered my back and then I had to get someone to take it all apart (thankfully the pipes were accessible) and put 'catcher' things down. Was massive amounts of hair/gunk well past the sink trap. Plus it could have gone right into the communal flat pipes and I dread to think how that would have been sorted (or not). Been using things over plug hole since but hair still getting past.

However;
Awful set up for safety/lifting though, and no it's not hospitable, definitely not.
Bending over a sink is bad for neck/back problems.
Plus some water from shower is going to be rather dirty!

But they need to stand in the bucket 😂

I live in an old house and the bath drain is decidedly dodgy. It's been supposedly fixed several times and I've used the drain unblocker stuff repeatedly but nothing really helps. I think it's just old pipes. I'm very careful about clearing hair out of the drain although when DGC come to stay it's a lot harder because they have really long hair and it does get tangled in there. During one particularly bad patch, it was taking over 1/2 an hour to drain after a bath. No idea what helped resolve it.

I really don't want the upheaval of finding a plumber and spending a fortune getting it fixed when I can just be careful. Too old for all that bother. Whoever inherits the house from me can do that.

You should have been told of this quirky time in advance when you had option of not staying with them . . Long hair can block shower outlets if someone is regularly using the shower. All that is needed is an extra filter on the shower tray outlet.and to lift it and put the loose hair into some tissue paper and then in a bin. You can also get hair dissolving solution to pour I to the outlet.
Personally I think I'd just put the offered sieve in the bottom of the shower tray over the outlet and have a normal shower with any needed hair wash, then clean the sieve and hand it back with a thank you

Like hell would I listen to that 🤣🤣🤣

They literally make things to go over the drain to catch your hair… does she know about this?

This reminders of when we stayed with the Nan-in-law. Kindly put us up for a week between odd completion dates. Had an en-suite in the room we stayed in. We’re told we were not allowed to poo in it. 🤭 obviously I ignored that. I would ignore the hair washing rule too, she’s not going to observe you showering is she?

they have an ensuite
they will know if they see hair down the plug hole

You clearly don’t have curly hair as all us curly girls know about plastering the hair that comes out against the tiles then collecting it up afterwards for the bin 🫣.

As an aside. Why don’t they (as well off) get a grey water reuse system set up so it automatically collects somehow. Must be possible.

😲
Are you sure that they’re not Harvey and Val Denton? 🤣
Great that they reuse water but not great for guests.

Yeah, this to be honest.

It's seriously weird, but given that you're going home tomorrow, I'd laugh, suck it up, and tie your hair back. Job done. Nobody's going to point and laugh when you're out and say "Oh my god, it's been FOUR days since they washed their hair!"

Emm.. book a swim at the local leisure centre, skip the swim and head straight for the showers?

Just wash your hair anyway and then clear the drain, logic.