To ask mums of girls aged four plus

[kidseatfree]

If you have a mostly lovely DD, what was she like at three?

(am in a bit of despair here!)

Really lovely. She loved her food, watching Peppa Pig, playing with dolls and playdoh, making cookies and painting. She also liked me to read her lots and lots of books.

I can’t remember any bad moments tbh. She was a very lovely child but I did give her all my attention when not at work, so I think that helped her be a good girl all day.

Bloody gruelling at 3.

7+ has been lovely!

Oh god another four years to go 🤦🏻‍♀️ 😂

School helps 😬

My daughter is lovely, many moments of loveliness in each day. But wow is she naturally born feisty. She is slightly easier now she is 4 and credit to her, now relatively easy taking her out of the house. 2 and 3 were challenging.

My 8 year old was a nightmare until she started school. Not long to go 🤞

Nightmare, she’s a fully functioning adult now who is mostly nice to be around, and is autistic though so wasn’t plain sailing

Ah gosh she was an arsehole! Didn’t have actual tantrums but was stroppy and obstinate and didn’t listen till the age of about 4. Once in school full time, it’s a huge change as their vocabulary grows overnight too. DD is now 8 and just lovely with only a sprinkling of foolishness now and again!

Is there anything specific that’s worrying you about your DD?

Legendary in her awfulness. I used to feel so guilty and bad for ds1. She was wilful and controlling. Didn't line to sleep alone.

Nursery and school reports all a dream.

Calmed down around 7ish. Fab teenager.

I have a very intelligent and bossy 3 year old girl 😁

Clingy. Unless part of her was touching me, she cried.

Now a fully functioning adult.

Age 3/4 has been more challenging for me than baby years but honestly I can’t fully complain.
She’s very sensitive and gets upset and cries and says I’m so sorry over and over again and sometimes I just wish she’d get a little bit of a back bone.
If her friends don’t share with her or say something bad she sulks and cries and I worry other kids won’t like her. I already see her get pushed aside sometimes in groups especially from boys

Ah thanks all … she’s sounding similar to yours @englandd ! So bloody bossy and controlling. Argumentative as hell (oh good, it’s swimming tomorrow MY NOT SWIMMING TOMORROW!) Will not take no for an answer without a big argument. Hoping four may be easier!

One swimming lesson when dd was about 6 is also part of her legend. She sat on the side and refused to get in. She had been going regularly.
The teacher was fairly young and was going to let her sit there.... until i marched across the poolside, bollocked dd and told her she was damn well going to get in.
Then I sat on the balcony and waved cheerfully at her, every time she tried to sob at me from the pool. She ended up staying on to do lifesaving etc and loves swimming abroad in the sea.

It was effectively a battle of wills for about 7 years. But mine was stronger.

People talk of the terrible twos but I remember the threes being a whole lot worse!!
DD was loud, bossy, demanding, wanted to be independent (even with things she blatantly couldn't do), definitely wanted her own way.
I'd say it got better at 4... even better at 5... a delight by 6 (and beyond!).

Three was our worst year.

My DD is in uni now and is absolutely delightful. Genuinely kind, wickedly funny, extremely thoughtful.

Hang on in there.

I've got 14 year old twin girls. At 3 they were A Lot. One of them still mostly communicated through the "point and wail" method and would get so hangry at times thst she would go and sit in the wardrobe and I would have to get one of her teddy bears to push a sandwich in through the gap. She never hugged me until she was about 4 and a half. The other one was like much more kind of like the kind of kid they like at preschool - listened to instructions, joined in, used her words - but she has and had a kind of like top defence lawyer's grip on logical inconsistencies in everything we would say and would spend like 3 days arguing with you about what was the difference between throns and nettles or a muffin and a cake. She made a song about a wedding and how her mum and dad didn't like her any more and she made a cake for the wedding and they broke the cake and then she made a muffin and they broke the muffinnas well. I thought she'd break me. She could spend the entirety of a 30 minute bus ride asking "why" to everything. They're great now both of them. The lawyery one is a cheeky fecker but she's really funny and the hangry one still gets hangry and he wee teddy bear can still do no wrong. It got easier once they turned 4 I remember, because they stsrted sitting doing colouring in on their own for like 20 minutes so you could have the odd conversation when they were still awake.

Mine was an absolute horror. Never stopped talking either and she exhausted me. It got a bit better when she started nursery then better still when she got to about 5. We had some lovely years then until she got to 17, where we have had a few "challenges" with the usual teenage stuff.

Always been a delight. Most agreeable under age 10 though

Exactly the same here ! It’s hard not to laugh sometimes just how bossy she is… I’m hoping she will grow out of it although I do think she’s going to be hard work for any potential boyfriends 😆

Mine didn’t eat, she didn’t sleep, just a general pain in the arse. She is now 12. Still doesn’t eat, still doesn’t sleep but is good fun.

Lovely at 1, Trickier at 2/3, lovely after starting school- and a lovely teenager so far!

Mine is 24 and is amazing! She found life very difficult at 2 and 3, because she's very intelligent and curious and would get extremely frustrated about not being able to do things or have things her way.

Hang in there OP, and just keep enforcing your boundaries.

I have boys but 3 was hard with both of mine. I think it's a developmental stage where they are noticing that they are not part of you and they are testing the boundaries. They also have the language to assert themselves too (in most cases). Also, emotionally you are the battering ram to adsorb their feelings. It's hard!! Threenagers are a real thing, IMO. I used to worry if they were like this at 3 what would they be like as actual teens? They were mostly easier as teens than as toddlers. This too shall pass.

Sticking my oar in, as a woman I'd try to avoid gender stereotyping as 'bossy'. Boys don't get told they're bossy, IME.
Mine are adults now and both lovely.

Edited to add: I think three is hard for us because they do seem more grown up, with the language than they are and it's hard not to get sucked into arguing the toss with them.

An absolute nightmare!!! My lovely teen who has been no trouble at all for many years was an absolute horror at three. I could do nothing right, she was dreadful to get ready and leave the house (well erm that is same now but at least she doesn’t tantrum about it just takes ages) and she also regressed with potty training for a bit which honestly felt like a protest at the arrival of her baby sister! Her sister was mostly lovely at three but I’m getting more attitude now….tween hormones I think.

I honestly found three/four the hardest so far as they cannot be reasoned with like an older child, and aren’t easily distracted from their strong emotions and opinions like a younger toddler. Hang in there! My daughters are absolutely my greatest joy and wonderful company now.