It’s a hen party one. Annoyed my DSis

[Lau226]

DSis is 7 years younger than me and I’ve agreed to go on her abroad hen weekend next month. Every detail has been planned by her MoH and there’s an in depth itinerary.

Last night, MoH put a message in the group to say for 2 of the events (a meal and a beach club) there will be consistent outfits required, one of these will be swimwear.

She is ordering the swimwear and put a poll in the group to ask people to record their size.

I take issue with this because 1. The swimwear in question is a thong bikini and 2. I find it embarrassing to share my size in front of the group (I am larger than them all, which is why I mentioned the age gap).

I privately messaged MoH to say I’ll bring my own swimwear which will also be white so it matches.

Dsis called me an hour later (she’s not in the group) - she said that I should just wear it for the photo at the start and then change straight out of it l, that she wants me to get involved and she’d be gutted if I’m not in any photos and not matching. I shared why I’m reluctant but she’s having none of it.

Am I being awkward here? I feel like it’s a lot to expect. Before anyone suggests it, I can’t cancel and I will be going on the hen, she’s my sister and it’s paid for.

I would absolutely not be wearing a thong bikini for anybody even if I had the perfect body. It's so demeaning and wrong to be asked to be basically naked in public.

Thong bikinis should be illegal. They're pointless, classless, trashy and gross. Nobody wants to see a bunch of women with their asses out. They're probably already annoying people around by being loud and obnoxious - don't also gross them out.

The trouble is that most of them want that for themselves when it's their turn so if they don't cooperate then they can expect the same. Honestly, if you are in that age bracket where for 10 straight years you seem to go to three weddings a year, it's no wonder these people complain they have no money for a house deposit. They are probably spending around 5k a year on pitching up at other people's weddings and wedding related shenanigans, then the gender reveal and baby shower nonsense starts.

Hell to the no !!! As others have said it will be for a 'bum' photo. Tell them you either wear what you are comfortable in or you're not in the photo. I would compromise in that I would wear white though.

Fucking hell. I'm glad I'm old. Matching thong bikinis for a fucking hen party, people have totally lost the plot.

Trashy and ridiculous. Just say no!

Disclaimer, I haven't read the full thread becauseit is really long.

But.

I'm an hcp and my registering body and my employer would not look kindly upon this. I imagine this applies to many other sectors.

I'd absolutely refuse. The whole wedding aesthetic thing is so banal. I saw a video yesterday where the guests were sent a mood board, in order to pick their outfits.

It should be easy to make reasonable adjustments for you. I think having your own white option is a good compromise. Another option is say you will wear the thong one but with white shorts and you bought extra pairs for anyone else along with white cover up shirts for an alternative set of photos that you are happy to be in (with the bride the only one just in the skimpy outfit? ) If there is no compromise you will gracefully opt out of the beach dress up and take the photos.

So, more stuff to buy and never wear again? What a waste.

Ask your sister why one matchy matchy photo at the hen do is so important in the scheme of her wedding plans. Is it realistically going to spoil her wedding if her female friends and relatives all wear whatever swimwear they are comfortable in? If so, she needs to explain why.

What? Are you on the right thread?

Compromise - buy a white burkini and wear that.

I'll add the first thing that came to mind. Utterly ridiculous. Your sister & the moh are being petty expecting everyone to wear a thong bikini which regardless of size is never flattering. I would say sorry, not for me but crack on.😂

It's probably pertinent to point out at this stage that you would NEVER find upper posho types kowtowing to this sort of nonsense. Colour coordinate your immediate wedding party by all means, or at least aim for no major clashes (although the men will wear the morning coats they already own and won't be nipping down to Moss Bros to rent matching ensembles) but expecting all the guests to dress in a prescribed colour palette for insta would be seen as the height of tacky naffness.

Also, if you are British, they are ushers. Not groomsmen. Pull yourselves together.

Absolutely not and I would put money on it that there are at least a couple of others who aren’t comfortable with this either but are afraid to rock the boat. No doubt there will be more equally tacky ‘accessories’ and activities lined up that you don’t know about yet.

Your DSis being ‘gutted’ is just pathetic and shows she has well and truly fallen down the curated Insta photo rabbit hole.

How awful. Don’t be bullied into wearing a thong. Stand your ground.

Id ask whether they are planning on taking a photo of your arses? If they are- then you can obviously opt out. If they aren’t then surely you can wear a full bottom and just wear the top for the photo?

There is not a chance anyone would make me do this. And the more they insisted the more I would object.

If this had been a thing when I was younger (unlikely as my friends were not into that kind of thing) I'd have just worn it for the photo, stood at the back, then gone and put normal bottoms on. But then as others have said, are they going to be taking a close up of my bottom? Or just don't be in the photo.

God it sounds so utterly chavtastic.

I had menopause/peri symptoms in my late 30s and was later diagnosed with and had surgery for endometrosis and PCOS (had huge cysts on my ovaries).

I am 50 now, in menopause and have no menopause symptoms. It's really not uncommon to be perimenopausal after the age of 35 and/or to have something else gynaelogical going on which makes these symptoms appear.

Personally I felt so different after 35, even after 33 when I had DD2- my hormone levels changed dramatically.

Would it be that bad for a photo? They will see what size you are regardless of whether you write it in the chat.

No is a very short answer. Embrace your peri and give no fucks about other peoples feelings when they are so clearly being arseholes. Under no circumstances am I wearing a thong bikini for anyone at any time. I have no issue with my body but thong bikini is not me. I am also not sharing a room, drinking alcohol I don't want, etc.. If that means I miss being a photo boo-hoo. On the other hand my sister would be 100% on my side for this one - she would know this was a no-go for me.

Say no, mean no and do not discuss it further. Wear whatever makes you comfortable. Ignore arseholes.

I think we can allow MoHzilla too, definitely seems appropriate for this one!😄

You can explain that you don’t want a photo to exist of you in a thong bikini. I certainly wouldn’t.
stand your ground.

Agree!! I wouldn't wear anything thong. The most uncomfortable design ever, in my opinion. I would spend the entire time squirming and trying to dislodge it from in-between my arse cheeks! Also who wants to see my arse cheeks hanging out? No one, not even me!!

As for being photographed wearing one, hell would freeze over before that happened!! As for it being plastered all over SM, God that's even worse than wearing a thong!! There's absolutely no need for a photo with all your arses hanging out, to be taken. Your sister wants this so she can plaster it all over Instagram!!