It’s a hen party one. Annoyed my DSis

[Lau226]

DSis is 7 years younger than me and I’ve agreed to go on her abroad hen weekend next month. Every detail has been planned by her MoH and there’s an in depth itinerary.

Last night, MoH put a message in the group to say for 2 of the events (a meal and a beach club) there will be consistent outfits required, one of these will be swimwear.

She is ordering the swimwear and put a poll in the group to ask people to record their size.

I take issue with this because 1. The swimwear in question is a thong bikini and 2. I find it embarrassing to share my size in front of the group (I am larger than them all, which is why I mentioned the age gap).

I privately messaged MoH to say I’ll bring my own swimwear which will also be white so it matches.

Dsis called me an hour later (she’s not in the group) - she said that I should just wear it for the photo at the start and then change straight out of it l, that she wants me to get involved and she’d be gutted if I’m not in any photos and not matching. I shared why I’m reluctant but she’s having none of it.

Am I being awkward here? I feel like it’s a lot to expect. Before anyone suggests it, I can’t cancel and I will be going on the hen, she’s my sister and it’s paid for.

Has a man just joined the chat? 🤨

Wtf kind of nonesense is this?

They all sound bloody insufferable. I despair of this sort of shite.

Take the swimming costume you want. Wear it.

Tie the thong to your face like a Covid mask.

Job done.

Exactly.

I've read a near identical post here before. What is it with thong bikinis on hens? It doesn't take much intelligence to understand that people may be uncomfortable not only walking around with their full arse cheeks on show but also posing for a picture in them.

That sounds like a lame Insta-core version of "do as you're told," which women don't need to do.

In "real life" a lot of women would 100% not want to be photographed wearing a thong!

What does brideZilla intend to do with this ridiculous photo??

Fuck that for a game of soldiers. Stand firm and keep saying NO.

Most, I'd say. Even when a size 8, hot as hell teenager (some years ago now I will admit) I'd have been horribly humiliated to be forced to partake in such a vulgar ritual.

OP... you wouldn't dream of cancelling because "She's your sister"..... yet "your sister" thinks nothing of trying to guilt you into doing something that's way outside your comfort zone. A really hard no from you is needed. She should want you there "because you're her sister" regardless of what you wear for any of the planned events. You and only you should decide what you're wearing. A general colour scheme is one thing.... what's being proposed/dictated is quite another. And it's tacky.

Can you post….
sorry girls, as a larger girl (peri meno and having birthed kids) my body is not what is was and I certainly will not embarrassé myself my wearing a thong Bikini. You girls and mil please go ahead and I will take the photo. It you still insist MIL then go ahead and order me a size 8.

This.

The answer is to simply say no. I'm afraid OP is just going to have to say that.

Can’t believe anyone would ask people to give their size publicly like that. You’d say pm me your size. Also they need options for different bottoms or maybe a full swimsuit. Your sister is out of order, fine when you’re a size 8 but surely women can understand other women can have issues about their size and not everyone wants to wear a blooming thong bikini in public.

I shared why I’m reluctant but she’s having none of it.

It sounds like organised humiliation to me.
Probably just careless and unthinking.

OP, it should be you who is having none of it, not your sister.

She is being very insensitive and disrespectful towards you, by completely disregarding your discomfort. She needs to be reminded again of that fact again and again until she gets it.
She has no right to dictate to you what you should wear.
it would be the incorrect thing to do to give in to her….to allow her to become so carried away in being the centre of attention that she makes her guests uncomfortable,
Tell her very clearly once more, that you will not give in to this particular
whim/demand. It is unreasonable of her to have so little understanding.

But if you don’t feel able to further stand up for yourself against her stubborn expectations before you go, then simply forget (refuse) to send in your size in the group chat. If the MOH persists in reminding you, then just tell her you have already spoken to your sister about this delicate issue and explained your reasoning thanks.

Then on the day, wear your own choice swimsuit, saying they all look lovely but you are way past wearing a thong bikini thank you and will stand at the back for the photo. I’m sure the other girls will be understanding. Even if your DSis is upset about it in the moment, that moment will pass quickly if you are determinedly matter of fact about it.

This is upsetting for you. It would spoil the whole celebration for me, but I would make it clear from day one that wearing a white thong bikini simply isn’t happening for me and telling her if she was going to continue to be awkward about it maybe she would rather I didn’t attend that particular day’s event / the whole thing.

It’s your sister who must happily compromise. Not you.

YANBU!!

I wouldn't wear a white thong bikini in public for anyone. Bring your own swimwear and if they don't want you in the photos so be it. Let them get in a strop if they don't like it.

If someone insisted I wear a thong bikini to their little party I’d laugh in their face. How childish.

Wear a skin colour or bright coloured body suit or gym wear underneath. Only wear the thong for the picture. It will be something that you will all laugh about when you are eighty.
Don't agree to have the photo put online.

A lot quite often

Nah.

My real life would categorically not have a thong bikini imposed on me, sister or no sister.

OP I feel for you, this sounds awful and so contrived like forced fun, I’d say nope!

Absolutely this. Not at any age, fitness level or for any reason would I ever have shoved a shoelace up the crack of my arse and flashed my arse cheeks for a photo for strangers to look at, it's actually genuinely absurd that anyone thinks this demand is on the same planet as normal

I guess they're the sort who enjoy flashing their arse in public. More power to them. It's pretty weird they don't get that many, if not most, actually don't want to do that.

Just say no like you have already. Say I don’t want to. Honestly people
can get so carried away with this absolute shite !!

Thong bikinis are vulgar and naff. YANBU.

What a bizarre waste to buy special swim wear.

What a sad culture we have that the social media "all pose in the same outfit in our engineered fun" is more important than nice spontaneous photos of your friends and family having fun.

Mind you, don't get me started on hen holidays.