Is this a ‘Soft life’

[Wellthatwasabrupt]

And would you want it?

Has Dh, one young Dc and dogs, lives overseas by the beach and countryside, nice house with pool and sea views.
Works 6 hours per week from home. Does all drop offs and pick ups, food shop, dinners, majority to do with Dc and sorting bills. Has a cleaner.
Dh works Mon-Fri -finishes 4.30, no one works weekends.
Days are free based around Dc school drops, coffee with friends, Pilates, yoga, studying or reading if you like, watching Netflix all day if you like, shopping, beach, pool, garden

Would you call this a soft life? Would you like it, be honest?

People can have meaningful things in their lives Attending school stuff is tedious as hell, it's the kind of thing I tolerated due to having kids, certainly didn't enjoy it and I didn't attend anything near them all

As long as she’s happily married and they are all healthy this sounds idyllic

Everything minus the hot weather (sounds like your in a hot country).

I do wish I had worked more actually. Especially now I am a near empty nester and my family/ friends are scattered.
And I definitely hated being a trailing spouse, similar to OPs life.

I don't think I am lacking a personality.
Horses, courses.

I wonder how old you are @JugBouquet ?

Yes, it's a soft life and yes, I'd like it. Plenty of time to do things I enjoy - learning, creating, reading, gardening...

I’d love it but I’m 50 and have spent the last couple decades as a single mum having to do it all! I’m more than ready for a soft life.

My main issue with this kind of life is...sure you have coffee and pilates with other mums in the same position, but no one has anything to talk about.

But people who talk about their jobs are insanely dull! Unless they’re, say, an investigative journalist or a senior diplomat (and then they probably can’t talk about the best bits anyway).

I’ve never understood this insistence on MN that working is interesting and not working is boring - still less the idea that work makes you interesting and not working makes you boring. Most jobs are not interesting a lot of the time, nor do they provide interesting things to talk about. Having time to read, to study, to pursue many different activities, to meet lots of different people, that makes you a lot more interesting than the average job.

I would hate to not be financially independent. I like to make enough money to be comfortably secure for myself and my children as an individual and my partners income is a bonus. I also like working in a male dominated field. I hate small talk and talk about parenting in general. Have no interest in gossip and coffee morning drudgery. I would like the other stuff, beach house, more time for excercise and cleaner. Also I have lived in a hot country with kids, it’s kind of boring not having seasons.

We dont know what its really like and how you feel living it. There is so many variables and factor that you dont describe.
If you are happy the way it is, then it perfect. Noone elses business.

Of course it’s a soft life and yes I’d love it.

Sounds like a nice life.

BUT

Would entirely depend on how DH was. Is he kind? Does he view me as a partner or as a housekeeper? Do I have equal access to family finances and equal ownership of property and assets? Does DH resent me for not working more? Am I free to go away with friends and engage in hobbies?

Because it could just be a gilded cage.

Doesn’t take long and is the same as what everyone else has to do

You’re assuming all the talk is gossip and child related. In my soft life overseas we talked about books, cinema, theatre, holidays, children, school, politics, voluntary work, charities…

Never heard of that term. Sounds like an OK life temporarily. It is too easy. Where are the challenges? It would get boring very quickly if you are used to a fast paced life.

It's all very well reading, studying and so on but would it be for future employment prospects or something like that? If its just to continue sitting at home to watch Netflix or drink coffee all day then it seems pointless.

Soley relying on the other partner to provide financially and having no stream of income myself would be a big no.

It sounds like a nice quiet life for someone who has retired and has a decent pot of money or continuous personal steam of income (minus the child at retirement age).

Just my opinion, some people will love this kind of life.

Edit: If the 6 hours worked earns a decent amount then that's a positive.

People have got touchy about my point about over-leisurely people having nothing to talk about, saying that I think Work is the only thing to talk about.

No, that's not it at all, the point has whooshed for those pps.

The point is, that the most interesting and simultaneously the most fulfilled people are people who are both productive and striving. A lot of different cultures have philosophers who have written about this, both ancient and modern, the idea that to be truly happy you have to be productive and not too comfortable.

Striving for a better situation makes us sharp, keeps us quick-witted, makes us enjoy our limited leisure time more.

And we've all seen this in people we know. We've all seen people with too much leisure fall into addictive patterns, be that gaming or affairs or simply physical malaise.

It's fine to disagree, that's what forums are for. But don't infer incorrectly that I think good conversation is work-related. Haha, no... maybe those pps have forgotten entirely how conversation works at all, so banal it has become for them.

Living it up …with the locals

@Anywherebuthere It's all very well reading, studying and so on but would it be for future employment prospects or something like that? If its just to continue sitting at home to watch Netflix or drink coffee all day then it seems pointless.

You think reading or learning is pointless unless it’s directly related to paid work?

None of that relates to paid full time work though. You can be a productive member of society without full time paid work, and you can be a pretty unproductive member of society even while working.
Working isn’t really directly related to striving for better either.

No, I wouldn't like it at all.

I'd want to work more than just 6 hours a week and I'd be miserable doing all of the pick ups, drop offs, cooking etc.

What domestic work though? A general tidy up daily, food shop once a week, dinner each night and washing clothes once a week, cleaners come for everything else. Does everyone have to do all of the above anyway?

It sounds pleasant but a bit aimless, and six hours a week is more a hobby than a job isn't it?

Yes. I was commenting on the story in the op, which sounded like a person who is neither productive nor striving. I wasn't talking about all unemployed or under-employed people. I used the word productive deliberately.

It sounds amazing and my absolute ideal

Yes! I'd LOVE this life. I've been a city girl all my life, & now a bit older have a yearning for life by the sea/ countryside.

I've worked hard for 32 years in a professional job which is stressful- having this life would be bliss.

I'll be REALLY honest: I have 3 children whom I adore, but I can totally see the attraction of one & done (maybe because my eldest has always been the easy child 🤷).