Is this a ‘Soft life’

[Wellthatwasabrupt]

And would you want it?

Has Dh, one young Dc and dogs, lives overseas by the beach and countryside, nice house with pool and sea views.
Works 6 hours per week from home. Does all drop offs and pick ups, food shop, dinners, majority to do with Dc and sorting bills. Has a cleaner.
Dh works Mon-Fri -finishes 4.30, no one works weekends.
Days are free based around Dc school drops, coffee with friends, Pilates, yoga, studying or reading if you like, watching Netflix all day if you like, shopping, beach, pool, garden

Would you call this a soft life? Would you like it, be honest?

I'd be happy with the house as a place to write, provided it's close to a reasonably sized city and an international airport. I'd want to travel at least 35% of the time, though, so the dog, child, and husband probably have to go. Pilates too, although yoga can stay.

"Soft life" usually means you set your own priorities and do what makes you genuinely happy, which typically includes being comfortable and calm and serene, not hustling all the time to get ahead or chasing what society supposedly prioritises. It can contain hard work if you love the work and crucially if you can opt out if you no longer do. So in this case, it would only be a soft life for her if she genuinely loves it and doesn't want something different/more (or is using this life to work toward those things while staying happy and balanced). For the husband, it probably depends how much he loves the work he does and how much control he has over how and when and where he does it.

She does part time paid work and has a child, which by most definitions is unpaid and meaningful work.

I think this is a very reductive and quite cliched view. Having to slog away at most jobs probably doesn’t feel that much more productive than being a stay at home parent. My former professional job had interesting parts but so does watching documentaries on Netflix or reading books. Not all stay at home parents end up trying to sell candles. Some of us might be studying towards a PhD or read as much fiction as a literature student or run marathons while enjoying our kids.

What is wrong with you? 😂
If you enjoy work fine but why are you so bitter about people who have more to their life?

Yes, I'm sure many people in their deathbed think they should have spent less time with family and friends and less time doing what they enjoy. Sure they're thinking they should have dedicated their life to work instead of friends and family who have supported them in their later years and given them love, care and happy memories.

I actually find your thought process extremely sad. I hope you find some people who can bring meaning to your life.

Yes, it sounds like a very easy life indeed. But it wouldn't be for me TBH. Like most people, I've often fantasised about what I'd do if I won the lottery or whatever. I would certainly quit my job, but I wouldn't want to spend all my time doing pilates and yoga, watching Netflix, shopping, etc. I mean, an occasional day like that is nice. But as a way of life? No, thanks.

What the hell is a soft life? Surely the opposite to a hard life is an easy life, given that hard is referring to difficulty, not firmness?!

Anyway, what you describe is not for me.

Depends what gives you a sense of purpose in life though.

I have a soft life. I love it

No such thing as a soft life, life is hard. Does it sound like a peaceful life from the outside absolutely.

Sounds lovely to me. Enjoy it I say.

Of course it's a soft life.

I would not like it. I'd be bored stiff with doing all that domestic work the whole time, except for six hours a week.

Have you ever tried to conceive but couldn’t? Have you ever been pregnant but had a miscarriage? Have you ever considered that some people may only want one child? Have you considered the fact that people might have other heavily weighing responsibilities which make more than one child incredibly hard?

What a vacuous, small minded, ignorant person you are.

Seems fine but I enjoy being stimulated and the buzz of working. I tend to atrophy, it depends on the person.

what matter is if the person doing it likes it. Having the option not the need to work is
a nice freedom

well no one is obliged to have kids. I don't think her lifestyle would be any more or less acceptable if she didn't have kids

Imagine claiming people look back on their deathbed and wished they worked FT instead of PT 😂 I’m dying. I mean the numbers of people thinking that must be absolutely miniscule.

you tend to atrophy if you're not at work? so weekends with your family, holidays, evenings out with mates are all time when your brain is dying because you'd prefer to be at work? what is your job?

What is the point of this thread op? This woman, is she you? Or a friend? Has someone said it’s a soft life? I don’t understand the AIBU aspect? What or who is being/not being unreasonable?

God yes. We have a housekeeper. Life's too short for all that.

Not if you’re someone who does meaningful work that they love. We don’t all sit staring at spreadsheets. If you haven’t found meaningful work you’re missing out on one of life’s key experiences.

I had that life. I haven’t had a full time job since 1995.
Was a trailing spouse and sahp, organised everything at home, did a reasonable amount of voluntary work, had a lot of lunches and holidays- the ultimate expat wife cliche.

I've never heard the phrase before but it would suit me wonderfully.

If I'm honest it's not a long way off what I have now except we live suburbanly (albeit with easy access to nature reserves and other outdoor spaces), I don't work and DH finishes more like 5.30.

🤣🤣🤣

I would be bored shitless as it sounds quite mundane (I don’t like dogs, and raising children is typically full of routine and boredom), but it sounds nice for those who like a slow pace of life and don’t have many aspirations etc. I would worry about being financially dependent too. Hopefully the woman in question has independent wealth.

If this is your life, OP, and you and your family are happy, what else could possibly matter?

If you can’t find any meaning in your life outside of paid work, to the point that on your deathbed you’re only wishing you worked more, you’re literally missing out on the point of life.
Most functioning people have meaningful outlets in many ways, their family, their children, their interests. If the only way you can feel meaning is when you’re being paid you must be lacking a personality.

I would love it and I wouldn’t get bored. I can easily fill a day with two school runs, a walk with the dog, some cleaning or DIY, a workout, making a nice dinner. The day is almost over by the time I’ve done those things. I don’t know what a soft life is though.

I haven't worked in over 10 years since selling my businesses, and I do not miss it whatsoever. DH enjoys his work and is content.

As for me, I can easily fill the day with activities, especially retail therapy!