Is this a ‘Soft life’

[Wellthatwasabrupt]

And would you want it?

Has Dh, one young Dc and dogs, lives overseas by the beach and countryside, nice house with pool and sea views.
Works 6 hours per week from home. Does all drop offs and pick ups, food shop, dinners, majority to do with Dc and sorting bills. Has a cleaner.
Dh works Mon-Fri -finishes 4.30, no one works weekends.
Days are free based around Dc school drops, coffee with friends, Pilates, yoga, studying or reading if you like, watching Netflix all day if you like, shopping, beach, pool, garden

Would you call this a soft life? Would you like it, be honest?

What would you class as meaningful?
Would you say working as a store assistant, for example, in a shop is meaningful or mundane?...and a role that contributes to society?? People need to shop. You are facilitating that and contributing to society, no? Also, you could be a very pleasant and brighten up people's day. There are some elderly people who live alone, with little family/friends and experience loneliness and your conversation might be the only one they've had that day. Surely that is meaningful and contributing to society?
Plus in this day and age where jobs are hard to come by, some people don't have the luxury to swap jobs if they find theirs mundane.
I'm astounded by the snobbery on here.....

You seem to be responding to something I didn’t say. Each person gets to decide for themselves what work is meaningful for them. All I’m pointing out is that the ‘No one is on their deathbed wishing they’d spent more time at work’ thing presupposes some joyless bean-counter working life. Which is absolutely not the case for everyone.

This is such a strange post and way to think. What struggle? Who on earth lies on their death bed and thinks their life was worthwhile because they struggled?

Is our main purpose in life to make our work colleagues miss us because of the labour we provided to some random company so they can make a profit?

We’re not Marie Curie, we’re not leaving anything remarkable to this world, no one will remember us a few years after we die.

My mark on this world is my children. I have brought them up to be happy and fulfilled people who will hopefully be successful in their own lives and may or may not leave a mark in the world. But my legacy is them and they are the only people who will remember me for a short period so those memories will be happy ones and they will hopefully say mum and dad were great human beings and they did what they could to help us. And they will talk to their children about us.
Because no one else will give a shit who I was or what I did.

There you go again, with the assumption that everyone’s work is meaningless capitalist twaddle for a profit-driven company. Some people do meaningful work. Some people do ground-breaking medical research. They don’t need to be Marie Curie for their individual contribution to curing disease or finding more environmentally friendly ways to generate power, say, to be important. Some people make art, write books, run homeless shelters, raise food, solve crimes, build housing, design buildings, teach children, make laws, do life-saving surgeries, rewind damaged habitat, care for the sick and elderly, are activists for important causes etc etc etc. Sometimes the most meaningful work isn’t paid, it’s voluntary.

If you’ve lived in such a way that your only mark on the world is your children, that’s your choice. It’s not everyone’s, though. And it’s perfectly possible to be a good parent and contribute to society.

I don't believe the OP is genuine. He'a the husband looking for validation to attack his wife.

But my work has an impact on the world, and I believe people other than my children will remember me after I am gone. My legacy is way more than my children, and personally I am a better parent for being ambitious in the work force.

maybe I misunderstood the op but I took it to mean those were examples of what you could do with your time. As an academic you’d surely never be bored?

Is this person you @Wellthatwasabrupt and if so why don’t you just stop being so cryptic and stop talking about yourself in the third person? It’s very tiresome

It's kind of elitist to say that work is only meaningful if it is "remembered" or somehow affects the whole world.

We are all cooperating members of society. Yes a coffee shop server is contributing meaningfully, because we drink coffee to socialise and the server is enabling that. The cleaner at the gym is contributing to an environment where people can get healthy and have fun. A fruit picker on a farm is providing food for us to eat. I might not know their names but they're contributing meaningfully. It doesn't have to be a noble or lofty thing like curing cancer or discovering radium, but obviously those are meaningful jobs too.

Being purely a capitalist consumer, paying for goods and services without providing any in return, is less meaningful a way of spending your time. Yes you are paying for it with money but you're not adding any particular societal value to the people around you except for the money you're spending. (In op's case, while her dc is at school and not requiring her input.)

It's a kind of weird postmodern oxymoron when people quit their job to write bad poetry (or whatever) and call that a more "meaningful" way of life.

It's a kind of weird postmodern oxymoron when people quit their job to write bad poetry (or whatever) and call that a more "meaningful" way of life

I suppose the question is meaningful to whom?

Well people have different philosophies obviously. A lot of people (including most world religions) subscribe to the idea that meaning in life derives from how we interact with society and how we contribute to it.

I think purely consuming goods and services without providing any in return isn't contributing to society.

But in very recent history there's been a vogue for seeking individual happiness and self-gratification as the ultimate goal. In this philosophy, being at leisure most of your time, and only consuming rather than contributing, is considered more meaningful.

Yes- a meaningful life being more about self-actualisation than contribution (not sure it’s about leisure in itself but rather having the leisure to write your bad poetry, paint your bad pictures etc etc).

I’m not sure it’s just a recent phenomenon- you see the same shift with 19th C Romanticism, and then again 1960s onwards.

I think you'd be hard-pressed to find the phrase "self-actualisation" in any sources more than 100 years old. It reads like peak neologism to me.

But I did say everyone has different philosophies.

I just hope op is grateful that not everyone prioritises "self-actualisation" otherwise her dc wouldn't have teachers, she wouldn't have a pilates instructor, her pool wouldn't get cleaned and her dh wouldn't be able to pay the bills.

I’m not suggesting the phrase is that old - I’m not aware of it before Maslow’s hierarchy of needs which is 1940s (so not a neologism either). But the shift towards individualism certainly is that old- it’s arguably the defining feature of Romanticism.

But I think you're actually making a narrower point than I thought previously- I took your earlier post to be about people giving up socially beneficial work in order to focus on artistic self-expression, but now you’re just talking about consumerism.

Gosh how annoying. I started reading this thinking it would be an interesting discussion about where fulfilment comes from in life. Instead it’s just another thread that’s about the SAHM/working mother endless tedious debate disguised as something more interesting.

To me they are two sides of the same coin.

For me, Art is beneficial and even essential to society but not when it is purely used for "self-expression". Art historically has always been a medium for communication, conveying ideas to others (especially religious or political or even just emotional). When it is used purely for "self-actualisation" then it is not communicative, it's basically doodling for your own benefit. If that's a person's sole occupation then they are purely a consumer and not a contributor to society.

OP thinking about what’s for tea.

(This will make no sense until the image appears.)

I also enjoy sketching or painting or colouring in to relax, and I'm also learning a musical instrument which I really enjoy. But I'm under no illusion that this is any more "meaningful" than playing games on my phone.

Where art becomes a "meaningful" occupation is when it provides value to others. I don't mean financial value, I mean communicating ideas or feelings to others. For example if my family listen to my instrument, that's providing some (very limited!) value to them.

This is my view anyway, but i think a lot of people around the world share it

I love this, and yes it perfectly sums it up!
(And incidentally is a perfect example of you providing value with art, so thank you)

I think her son would be happy he had so much time with her, the fact she had a pretty amazing life.

My mum worked full time, was incredibly career minded. Sure I was proud of her, especially being one of the only women in her field. I missed her like crazy though. Was always jealous of the kids with mums at home. So mixed feelings I guess. Now she’s retired, as awful as it sounds, no one cares. She said the other day how she feels sad no one asks her what she used to do. But she’s found a whole new lease of life. She’s so fit and healthy- much more so than when she worked full time. And she has a brand new group of friends and so many hobbies. It made her reevaluate how much she put into her work . She says she doesnt regret it because for one thing, it’s given her a lovely retirement and means she can afford all these things now. However, its made me and her realise there is sooo much more to life. She had her first surf lesson the other day. She’s doing a mindfulness retreat next week then off to New York with friends. How can people say thats sooOoo booRING