Is this a ‘Soft life’

[Wellthatwasabrupt]

And would you want it?

Has Dh, one young Dc and dogs, lives overseas by the beach and countryside, nice house with pool and sea views.
Works 6 hours per week from home. Does all drop offs and pick ups, food shop, dinners, majority to do with Dc and sorting bills. Has a cleaner.
Dh works Mon-Fri -finishes 4.30, no one works weekends.
Days are free based around Dc school drops, coffee with friends, Pilates, yoga, studying or reading if you like, watching Netflix all day if you like, shopping, beach, pool, garden

Would you call this a soft life? Would you like it, be honest?

I know hence my responses!

I don’t have facts and figures

End of the thread!

Why? Im asking you to explain why you hold these views

Well yes if you want women to be considered second class employees and missing out on jobs to men. But then the state can always pay them to stay at home for longer, in your world.

You won’t be specific about how it would be funded so I’m assume all the non parents and the fathers have to work so that we can financially support those who choose to take from society instead of contributing.

It’s possible to be a good mother and a decent employee. I assume you don’t feel that you were able to be both, but plenty of women can. It’s also possible to provide the best life for your child and have a decent life yourself.

And don’t come back with the point that having children is a contribution to society. Because if those children then decide to let the state pay them for sitting at home to have children, that is a huge financial issue for any country.

If someone can afford it and is of an appropriate mindset then stay at home with your kids. But not everyone can or wants to devote every second to their child.

So what are you using it for? Who is financing it?

Financing it ourselves!

You aren’t a mother?

So can the village help raise them? Or does the mother have to be surgically attached to the child 24/7 for those first years?

It is clear that you are defensive about your choices.

This is exasperating.

How about saying why mother isnt the best for baby (bearing in mind all specified before)

Why would you possibly think they wouldn’t be?

I’ve said about the village many times

I think it’s clear you are defensive. Not sure why though, be happy with your choices. You cannot argue biology and nature.

I keep asking how it would be funded and actually how do you force women to devote their lives to their offspring when they have a job they love and/or are good at?

Because whether SAHM/WOHM, choices being taken away from women is pretty dystopian.

Is there a reason why you won’t answer the questions?

Biologically, female mammals are programmed to get pregnant and pop out offspring whenever they are fertile.

Are you advocating for all women to do that?

I have nothing to be defensive about - my choices were made decades ago and they were the right ones.

If your idea is really so good, I’m sure you can explain how it works in practice. Must all women have a certain number of children? What about high earning professionals? Should they give up part of their life and career to sit and home with the baby? How will they pick up their career once they have finished having children?

The OP isn’t going to explain that. Nor is he / she going to explain who they are in all this - the woman or a coercive husband.

Nobody should be forced to do anything. Basic early care for baby is surely something every mother would want if they could financially or something they’d put first as you understand the importance of the child or you wouldn’t have one??

As to how it would be funded, I don’t know, it needs to change, utterly ridiculous to have it the way it currently is with many women feeling forced to go back to work as they can’t afford not to. But at the same time, paying extortionate amounts to child care services! It’s all upside down

what is not clear about my comment?

So it’s not well thought out. You realise that would need funding and as always the taxes would pay for it.

Presumably you expect enough people to go out to work so they can finance those who sit at home?

But then how to decide which people have children and which have to work?

Not sure why being a great mother and someone who has a job/career are mutually exclusive.

Stay at home if you can afford to finance it and you really don’t want a life outside your family. But don’t be so smug that your choice is the only choice.

Definitely don’t think everyone should be a mother unless they want to and are able to devote themselves to the role when the children need them.
Returning to their career at a later date if they wish to should all absolutely be made easier for the mum, this is again about recognising the importance of being a mother and being available for those early years and this being recognised and provided for women. This is a good thing, something that needs to change, why wouldn’t you as a woman support this instead of resigning us to this way of being

The father may well be more suited to early years nurturing and care, the grandparents are coming from a position of experience, the mother is both physically and mentally recovering from significant mental and physical changes, there is less stigma attached to fathers in terms of work progression, depending on incomes it may allow the other parent to take longer away from work.

The list is endless but ultimately it should come down to what is best for that particular family.

So can they help? Just a yes or no would suffice. It’s not like you have a lifestyle which would mean you are too busy to continue to reply.

?

Why does anyone hold their views??? It’s what they believe to be best

But you are telling people what you think is best for everyone. Don’t criticise others to justify your choices

Again you are reducing the role of being a mother…it’s not just sitting at home
The most important thing is the child’s welfare and development and this is all contributes to how a future society will be.
Newsflash-many many women want to be a mother and want to be at home with their child, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, it is a good and valuable thing to society to be a mother, it is not nothing, in fact its the most important thing.
No offence at all but this can’t possibly be debated fairly with someone who doesn’t have children, it just cannot.

No offence at all but you aren’t the arbiter of who can post on any topic.

Anyone can have a valid opinion as they were once children so the product of their parents’ choices.

Someone without children also has to live in a world where they contribute to education, childcare, healthcare etc for the children that are born.

If my existence on this thread offends you then feel free not to keep replying. It might be easier if you aren’t prepared to back your views.

Oh but where did I say it was a bad thing if you can afford it? If you are the one doing the PHD, those comprehension skills could probably use a tune up.