Is this a ‘Soft life’

[Wellthatwasabrupt]

And would you want it?

Has Dh, one young Dc and dogs, lives overseas by the beach and countryside, nice house with pool and sea views.
Works 6 hours per week from home. Does all drop offs and pick ups, food shop, dinners, majority to do with Dc and sorting bills. Has a cleaner.
Dh works Mon-Fri -finishes 4.30, no one works weekends.
Days are free based around Dc school drops, coffee with friends, Pilates, yoga, studying or reading if you like, watching Netflix all day if you like, shopping, beach, pool, garden

Would you call this a soft life? Would you like it, be honest?

If they are loving, caring and responsible, it’s better than a stranger obviously

You are extremely dismissive of the contribution of many people to society - that's a very ignorant view that needed to be challenged. Now you're spouting silly nonsense - do you think all of those people aren't doing all of those things as well as part of a full and active life?

The main caregiver doesn’t mean a mother who doesn’t do other work though

and strictly it doesn’t have to be the mother - babies need at least one stable person in their lives

children need the security. They shouldn’t be moved to childcare / family care situations until they are ready. But they don’t need a mother helicoptering around them especially once they are past the baby stage. That can actually be harmful.

and strictly it doesn’t have to be the mother - babies need at least one stable person in their lives
children need the security. They shouldn’t be moved to childcare / family care situations until they are ready. But they don’t need a mother helicoptering around them especially once they are past the baby stage. That can actually be harmful

This is why I’m intrigued about the cultures that promote the idea that the mother should be the sole care giver for 3 years.

It's not the 1960's anymore. What old fashioned, misogynistic nonsense.

It’s not helicoptering to be around your young child. Jesus wept.

but not better than the mother?

It’s basic biology and common sense also!

oh hang on no. If you want kids, you fund them.

Mother (if healthy mentally) and obviously a good mother, would always be the best surely! The baby craves and needs the mother, they have been a part of her for 9 months

Except it isn’t, allowing for basic biology means women would have far more dc. They can’t give undivided attention to each dc for 3 years in that case can they?

Eh??

What?

Yes, but why is your ideal that it be the mother? Rather than the other parent or a mix of the two? Or a grandparent?

So why do you think valium prescriptions were so commonly prescribed in the 60s & 70s?

Still awaiting the answer to those cultures & societies?

This is just getting silly now.

Look if anyone wants to have a child and give them to a child carer, that is their right but we cannot deny that the very best during those formative years is for the child to be with the mother. There is simply no point in arguing this anymore. Feelings of guilt or defensiveness cannot cloud the argument. We are all human and have our own wants and needs, but at the end of the day there is no argument to say a child is better placed in an ideal world with anyone other than the mother (as said numerous times-if mother is a good, loving mother and mentally stable etc)

But you are the one claiming things that aren’t true?

It would be great for father to be given more time with children too and loving grandparents, everyone who loves that child and is family obviously, but ultimately mother is the closest and best for baby and what they need

All sorts of reasons i’d imagine

I’m only saying baby ideally needs mum

I don’t have facts and figures, but it’s fairly clear to see that many cultures value the mother role much more than the Uk and America etc

What isn’t true?

You claimed it was normal for the mother to be the sole carer giver for 3 years in many cultures?

Do keep up!

This is ridiculous 🙄