Is this a ‘Soft life’

[Wellthatwasabrupt]

And would you want it?

Has Dh, one young Dc and dogs, lives overseas by the beach and countryside, nice house with pool and sea views.
Works 6 hours per week from home. Does all drop offs and pick ups, food shop, dinners, majority to do with Dc and sorting bills. Has a cleaner.
Dh works Mon-Fri -finishes 4.30, no one works weekends.
Days are free based around Dc school drops, coffee with friends, Pilates, yoga, studying or reading if you like, watching Netflix all day if you like, shopping, beach, pool, garden

Would you call this a soft life? Would you like it, be honest?

It sounds lovely, for about a month and then I would lose my sense of self and purpose I think. I’m immensely proud of my job and the satisfaction it brings me. As the kids have gotten older and less reliant my job is my identity. I love my home life and have a good balance eg keep active, catch up with friends etc But I genuinely think I would feel down after a few months of no work. I appreciate I’m lucky to love my job though!
final thought is you do you.

I am a firm believer in letting others choose their own happiness. If this is the life she/he enjoy then it is nothing to do with what other people think. You life once and you should live the life YOU want to live. Once you are hurting nobody and doing nothing illegal then nobody should judge.

So bringing up your children is not worthwhile?? Jesus

Or the other theory I put forward since the OP is being very careful not to say how she / he fits in to this.

I think the OP is actually the husband. He’s angry because his wife isn’t happy with the life he’s built for her & he’s looking for other women to agree how lucky she is.

It’s just not a 24/7 gig outside significant additional needs and the newborn stage.. Most people manage it perfectly well around their professional commitments.

Not a life I would choose personally. I like being busy, living in a city, playing sport, going to galleries and theatre and eating out. I don’t like dogs, swimming or Pilates. I also value my full time job and wouldn’t want to work any less than 3 or 4 days a week. Being dependent on a provider has never been something I would accept in my life either, so unless she is living off her own wealth it’s a no from me.

Nobody said it's not worthwhile but millions of happy flourishing families demonstrate, being a parent does not have to be all consuming. It is perfectly possible to work, have personal interests and a world outside being a parent whilst shaping the lives of well-rounded children.

Exactly

I don't think she's lucky. I think it's a bit sad. She's admitted they just 'get by' financially so that restricts their opportunities as a family. Meanwhile in 40 years time, she will look back on her life and assess her purpose and contribution... and realise she's achieved very little other than completing a load of box sets on Netflix.

I don't disagree with what you say, but a previous poster suggested that this soft life was not worthwhile as there was no goal and nothing to strive for, which is clearly incorrect

If he really is controlling her I hope she manages to get away.

I’d probably fill my days with more activities, but I’d love it. Life is about more than work.

@Wellthatwasabrupt - your life sounds quite boring to me. What do you do during the swathes of free time which are available to you?

What hobbies do you have? How do you fill all that spare time?

I've pushed buttons on computers in other people's businesses for 30+ years (accountant) I am so bored of working now. In our office we talk about cottages in the woods with no people!

I don’t know what a soft life is? Everyone faces hardship and complications in life don’t they?

Anyway, the only opinion that matters about the life you have posted about OP, is the person living that life.

Who is calling it a soft life? If there is enough money to pay the bills and do the things the family wants to do, it sounds a pretty stress free, enjoyable life to me. I would probably get bored quite easily and need to do something but not paying someone else to raise your kids and being relatively economically free, What's not to love?

I had significant health issues. Cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, shopping, admin, taxi-ing, school runs, attending all sports days and other school commitments, and then being able to teach them during COVID lockdowns was more enough for me (while they were in primary school) thank you very much. At the height of my illness (CFS) I would do school drop off, spend a hour clearing up after breakfast, put a load of washing on, perhaps make an essential phone call, then have to go to bed until school pick up. It was horrific. Eventually my mum helped me to pay for a private doctor who helped me (standard GP had been useless over the years). Wish I'd done it sooner but it cost £££ and I didn't think they'd be able to help in any case.
Thank your lucky stars that you had the energy to work alongside child rearing. Although I don't for one second regret not being there for my DCs. It helps to ease the guilt of my illness which was hidden as much as possible as I'd crash when they were at school - or dad would take over at weekends. So please, please do not judge someone unless you've walked a mile in their shoes. Be grateful for your health

So childcare is paying someone to raise your kids? Well that’s going to be a popular opinion on here…

Have you read the posts? Achieved very little aside from watching Netflix?
Educated to master’s level, important and needed career for society…mother?!

Exactly this, so sorry for your struggles xxx

Are you my colleague? We discuss moving away to a plot of land with separate chalets to live miles away from other people.

Sounds like OP is bragging.

this definitely. I enjoyed my working life until I didn't but it was because I was doing what i enjoyed and was good at. I never had goals, never wanted to strive, never "enjoyed the struggle"

Agree.

These same people somehow do not have a problem with schools raising their kids. Funny dat.

Thank you so much xxx