AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

[sweeel]

Basically, my 17 year old daughter wants to go to watch the new Spider-Man movie at 845pm this Wednesday, and she's going to the town about a thirty minute drive from us because that's where her friend is (and this is a town we are very familiar with etc. we used to live here but it's still obviously not super near as a local cinema).

She'll reach there by about 730 and hang out with her friend for a bit till the movie but the movie is about 2 hours 20 mins + adverts so I don't think it'll be finished till close to 12am. Then I have to go and collect her and I'm really worried about her safety of being out so late at night and I feel like I shouldn't allow her to go because it's so late and it will be dark by that time obviously even though it's summer...

She booked this time because all the other times were sold out and she wanted to see it specifically on opening night but I'm having serious doubts.

is 17 a typo?

I think the OP has made it fairly clear now that she was wrong. No need for people to keep saying this.

She will be an adult at 18. If she is going to University, how do you expect her to cope if she has no experience of an evening out locally? 🤷‍♀️

She sounds very sensible OP. She’ll be fine and it’s a very controlled environment. Count yourself lucky she’s only going to the cinema - at 17 I moved abroad by myself and went travelling!

I know it's hard. My DM wouldn't allow me to go anywhere as she was way overprotective. Not that it did me any good as I rebelled and ended up leaving home at 18.
She'll have a fantastic time while you, no doubt, will be home worrying. As Mothers, we all know that feeling! She will undoubtedly be absolutely fine, especially knowing that you trust her enough to look after herself.

That’s crazy. She is 17 for goodness sake. Unless there is a back story where she has complex special needs or something and requires carers. I was going on two week holidays to Malia at 17 with a group of my very sensible friends to celebrate A-cing our GCSEs

I can completely understand your concerns as the world is a very dangerous place, but your daughter isn’t going out on her own and a cinema date with a friend should be one of the safest things she could do. I, too, would be sitting outside the cinema waiting for the girls to emerge though.

Yep she will be travelling alone sometimes at uni fair that's fine, but she is like 99% living with me lol unless she changes her mind. That is genuinely her decision I have no issue with what she chooses but with the economy as it is right now I'm sure she'd prefer to have a stable home and comfort while she builds her career before even thinking about moving out

It’s a good starting point and I’d encourage you to be open to her doing similar things in the near future too just to get yourself used to it more than anything, as when she’s 18 her freedom will open up. I went to Ibiza on a girls holiday at 17, but I was a very sensible teenager. (My parents even had to write a letter to the hotel to say I was allowed to be there unsupervised 😂) sensible teenagers can mostly always be trusted!

'I do understand that when she's older she'll be doing this anyway but my main thing is that it will always be with friends'

'when she is older' is next year... And she won't always be with friends.

Kindly, you are bloody lucky that this is adventurous as she is being at 17 - most teens are at parties being sick at 3am at that age. Even the 'nice' ones.

Relax - she will be fine. x

I'm pretty sure she has the common sense in her to know how to get an Uber home to be honest with you

I would hope so, but then that begs the question…. why all the worry??

No I don't actually, always go in the afternoon, probably why I was a bit nervous but it's all good now, I understand that it is completely fine

She is 17 of course it’s unreasonable not to let her go to the cinema at that time . Next year she could be at uni out all night

I consider myself strict and I would allow this, and at 16 as well, maybe younger for the cinema. They would come home in an uber if it didn't want the faff of getting them.

Oh bless you op.

if it’s any consolation age 7 (not 17) I was coming out of the cinema at about midnight after having seen a film with my dad. He wanted to see it and I was his excuse to go 😂😂😂 my mum was raging he kept me up late on a school night. I remember it yet and it was a very long time ago.

Er not when the child is expecting her mother to come out a past midnight to fetch her! Fuck that,she wanted to be independent then she gets a late bus or a taxi/uber

I've got a 17 year old, and she will always be "my baby". Its natural to want to protect them, but its important that we let them spread their wings. The news is depressing and can give the impression that it's not safe out there, but she will be fine. Honestly.
Top tip, chalk up the late night lifts you give and call them in once she can drive 😉🤣

I was working in another country at 17, before mobile phones when writing letters was still the done thing. It’s summer. She has her friend and you’re collecting her. Don’t helicopter parent.

I was working full time at 15 years old and going out to pubs at 16. Yes, she can go and you dont need to like it or dislike it as she is an adult. If she allows you to pick her up, that may put your mind at rest. It cant be easy letting them go as they get older to i understand you worrying.

Crikey, I was out clubbing until 4am and travelling abroad with friends from the age of 16 😂

If you are very anxious why dont you just leave a bit early and make sure you are definitely there on time. Take a nice bar of chocolate with you, park up and just have a few minutes to yourself. And maybe it would be good if your child learnt to drive sooner rather than later so she has a bit of autonomy but is also safe. If you are a particularly anxious parent, you will feel better if she can drive.

Wat?!

She’s 99% living with you unless

she changes her mind?

I think the freedom of Uni, will make her want to live away from home lol!

You sound very negative, the worlds dangerous, the economy, home is the only safe place.

Honestly so much angst!

Can she stop over with her friend?