AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

[sweeel]

Basically, my 17 year old daughter wants to go to watch the new Spider-Man movie at 845pm this Wednesday, and she's going to the town about a thirty minute drive from us because that's where her friend is (and this is a town we are very familiar with etc. we used to live here but it's still obviously not super near as a local cinema).

She'll reach there by about 730 and hang out with her friend for a bit till the movie but the movie is about 2 hours 20 mins + adverts so I don't think it'll be finished till close to 12am. Then I have to go and collect her and I'm really worried about her safety of being out so late at night and I feel like I shouldn't allow her to go because it's so late and it will be dark by that time obviously even though it's summer...

She booked this time because all the other times were sold out and she wanted to see it specifically on opening night but I'm having serious doubts.

She's 17, surely it's her decision?!

She is 17 and its the school holidays. You need to extend the leash. Taxi or night bus if you don't want to get the car out at that time.

Gently, she's 17 - in no time at all she will be out clubbing. Good for her to be doing stuff like this as a little half way house.

So she's meeting a friend. And she'll be inside the cinema until the film finishes, by which time you'll be there to collect her.

What on earth do you think could happen to her?!

YABmassivelyU

She’s 17 and you’re collecting her. She will be inside of a cinema. This is completely fine.

i get your concern but she’s 17. Next year you can’t stop her going to the cinema at this time. If it’s a one off I don’t see the issue but it’s up to you whether you wanna drive to get her. Can you book her a taxi?

The only issue i see here is you going at nearly midnight to pick her up. I can see that might not appeal. If you are OK with it, then I dont see the problem.

Cut those apron strings OP!
She is more than old enough to go to see a film that starts at 8:45pm.

There's no need for you to pick her up though she can get a taxi if there's no public transport available.

She’s nearly an adult, with a friend, in a town she and you are familiar with and with you en route to collect her. I have a 17 year old and the only part of this that would mildly irritate me is being required to collect at midnight.

She’s 17 and it’s the summer holidays.

Is she likely to go to uni next year? She may be out a lot later than midnight.

I'd left home at 17.

Not letting a 17 year old go to the cinema in the evening is ridiculous.

Okay thank you! Did just need reassurance it was fine I realise I'm being a bit dramatic.

Don't have an issue going to collect her, a little annoying but that's fine by me, and I'd much rather get her than her take a taxi or bus late at night or something which I do think is a bit more dangerous

Uber home?

Do you like to have a few drinks before bedtime in order to help you sleep OP? Because in real life it was always the mothers who liked a drink who didn't want to do the late night drives.

If so, just don't drink for that night.

I don't know what you are worried about, her being out at 11.30 or picking her up? Surely you will just be picking her up from the cinema? Im sure they will be fine.

In a year she could be away at uni and out till all hours. What did you do at 17? I know I was out clubbing and on the last tube home.

No I don't drink lol I don't mind collecting her it's fine the post was more about whether she should be out that late at night but I realise im just being a bit paranoid I just wanted to check

This was completely standard practice when I was 17. But I understand Generation Z / Alpha are a lot more mollycoddled than my generation were (Millennial) so they may not be as streetwise, hence OP’s worry?

Is she a “sensible” 17 year-old? Has she been out with friends at night before?

Can she stay at her friends how is she getting home ?

Yep she's sensible. She has been out with friends a lot but it's never been that late before I guess which is why I'm not super used to it

I used to be out clubbing until 3am at that age, you’re being way too overprotective 😂

I was in nightclubs at 16 with a mate's sister's ID. Come on OP, she's 17 🤣

No, it’s not.

Op, she is 17, and if you collect her, I don’t see a problem.
I’m 38 now, but when I was 17, I was going clubbing and getting the first bus home at 5:30am on weekends. I guess growing up in Eastern Europe is just different 😅

A lot of people don't think about children with additional needs/medical needs and just tell you that it's legal for a 16 year old to have their own child, just because their children didn't have any additional needs. You know your own child, and if there are reasons why she needs more support/is unable to make the same sorts of decisions a s "typical" 17 year old, it's not wrong for you to try to support her (if that is the case) and it might be worth discussing her needs with any support or social workers, if that applies.

It’s totally fine @sweeel honestly. In a years time she might be at uni. The fact that it’s dark is meaningless surely, unless you don’t like her being out at 4pm in December? Cinema trip very safe. You pick up in car park - all good.

Are you worried you might be too tired to drive? That’s valid tbf, I might have an 8pm nap if practicable.