About 6 weeks ago me and my wife had one of the biggest fights we've ever had. It wasn't over one thing. It was months of frustration finally coming out.
I told her I felt like I wasn't a priority anymore. She always seemed to have time for her friends but whenever I wanted us to spend time together there was always something else. I also told her I wasn't comfortable with how close she is to her male best friend. I never accused her of cheating. I just said their closeness made me uncomfortable and asked if she could create some distance.
She told me no. She said her friends are her support system and she isn't going to change those friendships because I'm uncomfortable. She also said I'm only jealous because I don't have friends of my own which isn't even true.
The thing that hurt me before all this was her birthday. I'd been planning something special for months. Then she told me she was going away with her friends instead. I cancelled everything I'd planned and honestly that stayed with me.
After her birthday things just got worse between us. We almost never fought before that. We had disagreements like any couple but never anything major. I love my wife so much and that's probably why this has hit me so hard.
That night our argument got really ugly. We both said things we shouldn't have. Some of the things she said genuinely broke my heart.
I left the house because I just couldn't stay there. She called me three times during the night but I ignored the calls because I needed space. I came home the next morning and she was furious.
She packed some bags, took our three teenage kids and left. She stayed with her sister for about two weeks and then rented an apartment in the same city. Since then I've only been seeing my kids on weekends.
The financial side is another mess. My salary has always gone into her account because she's always managed our finances. We both have well paying jobs and normally we split the mortgage 50/50.
Since she moved out she says she shouldn't have to pay the mortgage because she isn't living here anymore. Instead she's taking what would have been her half of the mortgage from my salary and using it to pay the rent for her apartment because, in her words, she's only renting it because of me.
Sometimes I feel like that's too much. Other times I honestly just laugh because the whole situation feels so unreal.
She is still paying equally towards the kids, insurance and other shared expenses, so she's not refusing to contribute. But if I want my own monthly spending money I actually have to text my own wife and ask her to transfer it to me.
The hardest part though is how she's acting.
She barely speaks to me but she still visits my parents like normal. She checks on them, spends time with them and everything seems completely fine.
At the same time she's constantly posting photos from clubs, restaurants, weekends away and nights out with her friends. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but it honestly feels like she's trying to make me jealous or show me she's happy without me while I'm sitting alone in our house missing my family.
It's like she acts married with everyone else but divorced when it comes to me.
I honestly don't know what she wants anymore. If she wants a divorce I'd rather she just tell me instead of leaving me in this weird limbo where we're separated but nobody is saying what the future is supposed to be.