Is Mumsnet some people’s entire life? Or at least social life?

[Gerbills]

Don’t get me wrong, I love Mumsnet and have been using the site for many, many years. But I do still have a life outside of Mumsnet too, as I’m sure most other posters do too.

But there seems to be a number of posters, maybe just a handful who name change, for whom Mumsnet appears to be their entire life.

They get what seems genuinely upset when a poster doesn’t come back to a thread. Or they get affronted and furious when a poster doesn’t act on their advice and immediately block someone/leave a partner/go no contact, and they harass the poster with ‘what are you going to do about this then?’

They post over and over again, reiterating their view point in an increasingly rude manner, and become upset when an OP is rude back. I’ve seen one where a poster says that she’s been reasonable until now but is running out of patience with an OP who is reading the thread but not telling everyone the ins and outs of her life.

It is so bizarre. It’s just a chat forum. Comment, don’t comment. But you don’t know the person you’re talking to from Adam and it is so strange to get so deeply involved in a thread that you are rude to someone because they won’t tell you everything and do exactly what you think they should.

people like that are unhinged. Especially when there 20 quotes deep aruging about the most stupid things.

I just came on to MN this evening to switch off from WhatsApp and real friends!
I was very active on the WC thread ,so much fun . I name change regularly 🤷‍♀️
I personally don’t recognise names apart from a few .

I have another perspective.
I don't have much of a life at the moment due to a long chronic illness where I'm largely housebound. I've lost my irl friends and apart from family and a for a craft group I attend twice a month I don't have any social contact with people right now.

So mn is my shadow of a social life (sad I know).
It means I feel part of some sort of community or group and don't feel so alone or isolated even though absolutely noone knows or cares about me.
I'm not self pitying, I'm very aware of the reality of my experience here.

But I don't do any of the things you mentioned!
I never take it personally if I reply and someone doesn't acknowledge my post. I don't stalk people or pester them or expect them to come back to a thread.

I get it, this isn't the social life for others that is is for me and I have no expectations of others like that.

I don't think it matters if it's making people happy, and they're talking to people.

I have really enjoyed your thread 🩷

Thank you.

So refreshing.X

Yeah there’s one at the moment where the op’s dp has behaved badly but the amount of people who seem personally affronted that she hasn’t left him and have returned to the thread multiple times to shame her is actually quite weird. I can’t imagine being so invested.

I agree, they often hop all over threads with similar comments & tone.

I don’t read the relationship threads as many posters often treat it as entertainment waiting with bated breath to see what happens next. It’s somewhat distasteful imo.

Quite a few must be on the Royal board & posters get annoyed if you can’t keep up with threads. I can’t keep up because I have other things to do!

The posters who just want to argue confuse me because what is the point?

There's some nutters on that board. I've seen threads where someone offers advice based on their expertise in a specific discipline or role and they get gain said by people whose main quals are being parents of students.

What can I say??? I'm not trying to live vicariously through other posters problems on here!" 🤣🤐 I reply because I’ve got a functioning brain and an opinion which I am being asked for and I enjoy the distraction from my own life occasionally. Some of the posts I read make me realise that my life isn't actually that bad compared to some!

Meh, I kind of like those ones, when they're consistent it's sometimes like reading a book.

I think why shouldn't they defend their position if people are commenting saying they're wrong/trying to argue against them?

There are a few very controlling and nasty people on this forum but they make a big impact.

People with no psych qualifications making diagnoses or using therapy language in a way that is designed to demean the poster and ram home their own opinion, often based on limited information.

I have actually been appalled at some of the nastiness and judgement. It's quite random what will get people stirred up although mothers very harshly judging other mothers seems to be a big one.

You don’t need to wonder OP, plenty of people here are quite open about having no friends and using MN for social contact.

There are plenty of posts about people being extreme introverts.

And those who won’t open their front door when people knock, , jump into shops to avoid people they know in the street etc.

There is no doubt, and it’s not surprising, that this site is weighted towards isolated people more than the general population is.

My take on it, Is I’ve gained info I didn’t know or things have been recommended,I’ve enjoyed the FIFA thread .I do get disappointed if the Op doesn’t come back but only on some threads .Most of all it makes me Smile & Laugh😂

I enjoyed the Fifa thread as well when the thread originator ran it. Sadly she disappeared. Hope she's OK.

There's nothing to defend though. They state their opinion, the OP disagrees and moves the thread on (or tries to) and the poster comes back and states it again. Noone's really arguing back.

Those aren't the posts I've seen. Someone posts something, and people come on to 'correct' them. I think they're allowed to come back on that.

Absolutely. If you've been misquoted or misinterpreted or have an opposing point then of course you're going to post again, I don't find that annoying at all!

It’s the ones where someone says ‘I think you should leave your job’ and the OP says why that won’t work for her, and then the posters reiterates 1000 times that she should leave her job and demands to know increasingly personal things.