Husband …we are not shopping today ..Aibu ?

[inkyspells]

Today me and my OH are going for drinks and food in a city around 30 mins train from our city.
I am at a concert on Friday and there’s a shop that has a top I’m looking for (we don’t have the shop in our city ) I plan on wearing it for the concert.
I checked and it’s in stock
So I said I’m just gonna pop in and grab it
He said “no we aren’t shopping today ,your off work all week ,go and get it another day “
I told him I know we aren’t shopping ,I just want this specific top.
Im literally walking past the shop to get to the area with the pubs.
So now I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow (1 hour travel there and back ,plus another train fare”

Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?
I asked him again and he went in a mood so I just said fine il go another day.

If I was walking past the shop I'd have just said that I was going in to get the top and if he didn't want to come in he should go to the pub and get the drinks in. There's no way it's reasonable to expect anyone to have to go back and spend money on train tickets and waste all that time. His bad moods are controlling what you do, don't play along if you can help it. He'll be thinking Yes, that worked! And he'll do it again and again.

WTAF! Very controlling. Tell him to sod off and get the top!

He doesn't have to go in does he? What a prat.

Is he always this controlling?

Is he always this controlling?

He's a controlling and nasty twat.
Do what you want. Let him go in a mood.

Were the opposite, I hate shopping husband loves it. We’ve just got back from a 2 week holiday and he dragged me to the shops far more than I would have liked.

I didn’t stop him or get in a mood, I did find somewhere to sit down while he wandered.

We then did some things that I wanted to do.

It is called being grown ups and having a relationship. Sounds like your husband is a giant toddler.

What is wrong with you? Do you let him dictate what you can and cannot do all the time? I would have ignored him and gone in and got the top. I would not even have asked, just told him what I was doing. But then I wouldn't be married to a control freak in the first place.

Does he normally boss you around and treat you like a child ? Is everything you do together dictated by him?

Very odd. My husband wouldnt dream on saying that neither would i.

I feel really sad when I read posts like this. Sad and confused. This is no way to live a life, where you're so scared or beaten down that you can't even just go into a shop that he doesn't want to go in.

Bad communication on your part. You surprised them with no prior notice. Very selfish. Instead you should have said you were looking to buy the top when in town if ot fitted in with your plans. I suspect thenother half isnt invited to the concert either. Probably reacting to being taken for granted when you are going out for a girls night whilst he is left at home.

Seeing it from another perspective is there something more to this than you just popping to get a top? Does he think you have enough clothes already, does he worry about the amount of money that is spent on clothes unnecessarily perhaps.

My husband would be the complete opposite and encourage me to go and get the top if I wanted it.

Genuinely, this is like coercive control. Screw him and go and get the bloody top!

I'm sorry.....have I read that right? You literally walked past the shop but are now going back tomorrow because he'll have a tantrum otherwise?

Your husband sounds like a toddler and you need to grow a pair! It's completely ridiculous and a slippery slope. Tell him to fuck off!

You asked? Why do you need to ask his permission? You should have just told him you were going there! What an arse!

Right. He doesn't sound very nice. He doesn't need to 'like' shopping to co-operate with you on this for ten measly minutes out of his life, the selfish dick.

Erm. Does he own you, are you his posession? You could have popped in and met him 5 minutes later! f

I am sorry to say this there is no way I would let any man tell me what I can spend my money 👎👎

For me it's a more information needed. Can OP just nip into a shop, grab what they need, pay and straight back out, in which case they're NBU, or are they a browser who will get easily distracted and a 10 minute nip in turns into an hours shop, in which case they are BU. My sister and mum are the second so I always dreaded when they spotted a shop when we were supposed to be somewhere else! I hate shopping so will just run in and back out, preferably on click and collect.

And the OP was never seen again. Another one. Fishing for human responses.

Plz don't tell ANYONE EVER, "Don't be ridiculous!" or similar. That's horrible, disrespectful.
I think ppl know that popping into a shop CAN land up taking longer, trying other sizes etc, so he may have a valid gripe.
What I wonder is: Why are so many responses so full of swearing, so ugly and negative?
I'm a woman but if a friend asked me to do this, I'd be careful to emphasize that it's truly 5 min, and not a hassle that breaks into a nice plan.

In response to most of the responses...
It's not about asking permission or behaving as if he's her boss.
It's decent and courteous to mention or ask if the other person minds etc.
This group seems mega anti men, assuming the worst of them.
We usually marry because we want to marry and because we have feelings for the guy. So why all this ugliness towards men???

Personally, if he was being that ridiculous- I’d arrange another day and make it an all day thing. Take a friend, have lunch, maybe even dinner - I’d probably even stop over, although that could be pushing it

Just tell him that your week off includes a few hours of 'retail therapy' and if he doesn't like it, lump it.