WIBU to withdraw my offer of accommodation after she cancelled dogsitting?

[Dogshitter]

A good friend of mine recently got in touch asking if she could stay with me for a few weeks during August. She has been travelling and can’t move back in to her house until her current tenants have left. As it happens, I needed to find a Dogsitter for one of the weeks when I’m away working. This seemed like the perfect arrangement and I would have been happy to accommodate her as it suited us both. I cancelled my paid booking with my regular dog sitter and informed said friend.

She messaged me late last night saying she’d accidentally double booked and agreed to do a house/dogsit (trusted house sitters or something) during the week I needed her to dogsit. It’s in a location close to an elderly relative of hers so she can spend some quality time there too. She was hugely apologetic but resolute that she couldn’t cancel the other dogsit in favour of helping me.

This has been arranged for almost a month, and I’m now in the situation of having to find paid dogsitting over the bank holiday weekend. It’s not just about the money; my dog is really nervous and not the best fit for many dogsitting situations.

I feel like telling her that she can’t stay for the remaining weeks now that the situation no longer works for me. We agreed this prior to her taking the other booking, and it’s left me in the shit.

WIBU to refuse to let her stay now?

YANBU. Absolutely no way would I let her take the piss like that.

I would go one of two ways.

Either say "sorry, I've just been given a really tough project for work so unfortunately won't be able to have anyone staying in the summer. Hope you can find something else".

Or "I appreciate you have double booked, but it's now going to cost me £XXX to get another dog sitter at such short notice. As you're staying with me this summer, perhaps you could contribute towards the cost of this?"

For those saying “it’s petty”, no, it’s what not allowing people to treat you as a door mat looks like.

But that would then have been a different arrangement. I agree with a pp the co-incidence of dates is too much.

Only after my friend had agreed to the dates and that she could dogsit instead

Fuck her! And all the constant cunts cancelling everywhere! Selfish fucks just do what they like and don't care the consequences for who they have cancelled at the last minute.

I'd tell her you accidentally double booked your guest room and the other guest suits you more.

She can stay with her relative or go into an airbnb for the duration.

There's a lot of pussyfooting (sorry) going on here in some of these answers.

I would just tell her that she has dropped me in the shit as I have cancelled the other sitter now, and that she is no longer welcome to stay.

Not at all. Just say that the house will not now be available as you will have a paid sitter in residence so she will need to find alternative accommodation for the that period. And try grovelling with your previously booked dogsitter. They may know someone else who can help if they’ve filled the slot.

This.

It’s not petty when someone goes back on a prior agreement and is a CF taking the piss.

@Dogshitter I don't understand : she agreed to dogsit for you BEFORE taking on the other dogsitting job. So why isn't she calling that person up and telling her she has double booked? That would be the logical thing to do surely. Rather than leaving dogshitter in the shit!

Is your original sitter still available?

If she is a good friend and you want to keep being friends with her I would go with the "this is now costing me more because I have cancelled original dogsitter - would appreciate it if you could make up the difference - maybe in respect of staying the other XX weeks"

I think she got a better offer and I would not put her up anymore. Feign stupidity as some other posters suggested, tell her you’ll have to make other arrangements so putting her up will be difficult now - so sorry!

'Friend' wouldn't be at the house during dogsit week - she's off dogsitting elsewhere.

I dont think you're being unreasonable to be annoyed but I would reinstate the dog sitter and allow her to stay with you.

As you seem to think it was a genuine mistake - what is to be gained by petulantly binning her for the other weeks?

What kind of friend does that?

Double booking was a genuine mistake. Not cancelling the other sit is a choice.

I wouldn’t want her to stay either.

You say she’s a good friend, so really consider whether you’re happy to lose the friendship over this.

doh, of course. She was going to come for longer, wasn’t she?

On that basis I would still say I couldn’t put her up as my holiday plans are no longer certain - due to having to find a paid sitter - and that I can’t guarantee to be here on the other weeks.

op I can’t see how she would make a mistake. She knew she was staying with you for a few weeks and was dog sitting. Even if she couldn’t remember the days she was dog sitting she could’ve checked with you before committing to the other people.

I wouldn’t want her to stay now, you were doing her a favour and she’s let you down.

I'd say she got a better offer, so I'd withdraw your offer too, if I were you.

Yes I would do this. She was getting a favour from you at a busy time, and decided even the dog sitting ask was too much - she could tell the elderly relative she was unable to do it. You're the cancellable one. Well, so is she.

If @30DegreesHighAndRising is right on this it may still be salvageable if you still want her to do the dog sitting. (If you don't, absolutely fair enough, I just know how hard bank hol weekends can be.)

"Ok that potentially messes up my Aug diary a lot. You'll need to find somewhere else to stay for (all dates she's asked for) at least until I figure out what I'm going to do. Can't commit to houseguests until I have reworked the plan."

Give her a way to back down and find herself handily free after all.

It may go nowhere of course, and you may not want to play that game, but IMO don't burn any bridges, you might as well play the hand you are dealt.

Ultimately it’s not her responsibility or her problem if your dog is anxious, but I think most decent friends would honour the original commitment they made to you, unless in exceptional circumstances.

I think cancelling the whole stay will likely be friendship ending however, so I think you have to consider that outcome should you go ahead.