WIBU to withdraw my offer of accommodation after she cancelled dogsitting?

[Dogshitter]

A good friend of mine recently got in touch asking if she could stay with me for a few weeks during August. She has been travelling and can’t move back in to her house until her current tenants have left. As it happens, I needed to find a Dogsitter for one of the weeks when I’m away working. This seemed like the perfect arrangement and I would have been happy to accommodate her as it suited us both. I cancelled my paid booking with my regular dog sitter and informed said friend.

She messaged me late last night saying she’d accidentally double booked and agreed to do a house/dogsit (trusted house sitters or something) during the week I needed her to dogsit. It’s in a location close to an elderly relative of hers so she can spend some quality time there too. She was hugely apologetic but resolute that she couldn’t cancel the other dogsit in favour of helping me.

This has been arranged for almost a month, and I’m now in the situation of having to find paid dogsitting over the bank holiday weekend. It’s not just about the money; my dog is really nervous and not the best fit for many dogsitting situations.

I feel like telling her that she can’t stay for the remaining weeks now that the situation no longer works for me. We agreed this prior to her taking the other booking, and it’s left me in the shit.

WIBU to refuse to let her stay now?

Is she desperate for the money, maybe?

I agree with you. I'd say you're having someone else in so she can't stay.

That's paw form. Sounds like she's in the dog house.

It seems a bit of a coincidence how the dates coincided. Do you think she's done this deliberately, so that she gets free accommodation from you without having the responsibility of the dog?

Some people completely forget to give as well as take. If you think she;s one of these, just say sorry, can't let her stay as you need to hire a dog sitter to replace her.

Definitely NBU! She sounds flakey and unreliable anyway so can you really trust her in your home? Probably not. No great loss, friend-wise.
As teens/young adults, behaviour like this probably wouldn’t end a friendship. However once we’re fully fledged, seasoned adults who’ve already dealt with enough shit/flakey friends/traitors/unreliable twats, we need good, well adjusted people in our lives whom we can rely on to be as decent as we are. She doesn’t sound like she fits this criteria tbh.

You say you agreed prior to her taking the other booking, so she hasn't accidently double booked, she's just blown you out. That's not a friend imo and yanbu to tell her you not comfortable accomodating her.

You should definitely let her know that you can't confirm accommodation in August because you are having to arrange another dogsitter and don't know your plans yet. Then take your time arranging something else. If she's generally a good friend I might let this pass but if she has been unreliable in the past, or you feel the friendship is uneven, I would rescind the offer.

Definitely do not let her stay. She’s not a friend, she’s just using you!

I’d tell her that you now have to reorganise your plans for that month due to dog sitting arrangements so won’t now be able to accommodate her stay.

It seems a bit petty (no pun intended) to say she can't stay for the rest of the time.

"Okay no worries. I'll need to sort out a new arrangement now so I won't be able to host you the rest of the time."

You’d be really petty. It’s annoying but just really mean on your part to tell her to leave - surely you’d have let her stay even if you’d no requirement for dog sitting?

I'd feign stupidity and reply something like "Oh, that's put me in a bit of a situation to find a replacement, but I'll look into it today. Great news that your [other friend/relative] can host you for the weeks you needed. All works out in the end"

Then watch her squirm when she replies that actually, no, she still needs a favour from you...and you can reply in a day or two that: sorry, the only alternative you can find for her change of plans needs to stay at yours, so there's no more room at the inn.

I absolutely am petty and I don't see why people are so worried about being so. Your friend isn't worried about inconveniencing you, so why are you worried about her?

No way would she be staying at mine. Very poor. You’d think it would be the least she’d want to do to say thanks for letting her stay.

I agree with @DearlyDiego that this is the way to go. Let her scrounge free accommodation from her other relative. Weaponised misunderstanding.

Did she offer to pay for her own food and a share towards utilities while being an unwanted guest?

Yes, but probably best not to over react, don't give her a ruff time, just let sleeping dogs lie, there may be a more serious issue behind it and you don't want to end up barking up the wrong tree.

Seems a bit petty for you to cancel her. If you take her version of events, that she’s double booked herself and it coincides with seeing an elderly relative - perhaps they have made plans to do something together.
Unless she has history for being a let down I wouldn’t hold it against her this time. (Although I can appreciate how annoying it must be for you).

There’s being nice and there is being a pushover.
”Oh ok I wish I had known earlier then I would have kept Rovers original booking with the dog sitter he is comfortable with. It’s going to be tricky finding someone now at such short notice. I may need to change my plans so with things so up in the air, I can’t offer to let you use the house any more.”
It may end the friendship, but frankly I would be annoyed enough to let it fall. She has put you in a very difficult position and can’t still expect a huge favour from you.

It would be a no thank you.
Friendsship works both ways.

This. You already cancelled your regular dog sitter and now "friend" has cancelled any dog sitting time. She really dropped the ball and it's a bit much to expect weeks of housing from you when she's done that. Her housing and tenant issues are not your problem.

I hope you can get your regular sitter again.

Oof, seems a big coincidence that she only has the paid gig the week you asked her to dogsit for you 🤔 but the other 2 weeks where you're putting her up for free without looking after your dog, she hasn't 🤔🤔

I would sack her off to be honest, because it seems likely that's she's engineered it this way because she's inherently one of life's takers. I wouldn't be shocked if you let her stay, that she'll not put her hand in her pocket once and you'll be back here posting a thread all about your CF house guest who's eaten all your food and drank all your drink and expected you to wait on her hand and foot.

This reminds me of a near miss of mine. I live somewhere that people consider a holiday destination, v close to beach. Last spring, BIL and SIL (who've moved out of this area to a city), proposed they stay at our house to "keep an eye on things" for the 2 weeks we are away in August. Framed as doing us a favour, rather than as them having a house by the beach rent free in peak holiday season. DH replies "oh yes, that will be excellent - we can cancel our dog sitter and save ourselves £1000." Predictably, they didn't want to look after our (placid, well trained retriever) dog and couldn't understand why we wouldn't stick him in kennels instead so they could fully enjoy doing us a favour without actually doing anyone a favour but themselves.

I definitely think this would be your best response - make it sound like she won't be staying with you at all!

not unreasonable at all...especially if you know she took the other booking after agreeing to look after your dog. If she's desperate for money she should have told you and given you the chance to pay her.
I'd say you've also accidentally "double booked"
and having someone else to stay! She can stay with her elderly relative.

I agree with @SillyGooseyGander . It seems very suspicious that the week she's booked herself to look after someone else's home/dog is the exact same week that you needed her to look after yours.

Do you believe her? Maybe she's not a dog lover so has arranged something else that week so she can get out of it.