Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

[housinghun]

I have a 2 year old and and when we go out sometimes we will see an older lady (about 60s early 70s) and she will always approach my son.

It started off as "Can I say hello?".
I agreed.

Next time she attempted to remove his cap "to see his face".
This made me feel extremely uncomfortable, touching my son.

OH took our son out last week and he told me that an old lady had smiled through the window at them as they walked past.
She had come running out the house and shouted "hello" but by that time they were gone down the road.
It was her.
I had never really mentioned this to him and this was the first time he has seen her.

I know it's innocent but it makes me feel really uncomfortable now going past as I don't want a stranger touching my son.

I did tell her "please don't touch him" as I don't want him getting used to strangers touching him.

I am over protective of my son but just wanted others views.
AIBU to feel this way?

AIBU

Are you an anxious person generally op, might be an idea to see your gp and ask if any talking therapies/cbt available? In the meantime cross the road and take a different route but do own the issue, this is you being overly anxious not a friendly lady talking to your dc that is the issue.

I agree!

Possibly the most ridiculous reply yet.

Be thankful you weren't a parent to a young child in the 70s. It was the norm for old ladies to comment on kids - usually very negatively. I still recall a few such incidents and I wasn't even being naughty. But back then children didn't have the rights they now have.

This. As an 'old lady" myself I don't tend to approach babies I don't know but it was quite normal and unproblematic when I had a baby.

Yes, she might not even be pension age yet!

The most level headed post on this thread !

Just another example of how society is crumbling.

And people wondering why there isn't a 'village' any more.

My father in law did this - he loved children but more recently he developed dementia and he lost his filters. We would try and gently divert him as we approached a child when out in public but we were not always quick enough. I’d apologise quietly to the parent and most were understanding. Mostly it was tenderly touching the child’s cheek, but it didn’t feel appropriate. I would not like a stranger reaching out to touch my child.

You do realise that being overprotective of your son isn’t a good thing for him, right?

It is not a kindness, it is a hinderence to their confidence and independence.

No wonder lonely old people phone 999 for an ambulance just so they can talk to somone or die and are found dead 6 months later.
Nobody cares. No community spirit.
I expect she is of the age where ‘assault’ means attacking somone, not an elderly lady holding the hand of a toddler.
It’s posts/comments like Ive read on this thread that make me realise mankind is fucked.

" Lure him away". Fgs.

Absolutely this. OP needs to get a grip.

She shouldn't be 'tactile' around other people's kids.

I imagine she’s harmless but he’s your child so you get to dictate her interactions with him.

This is so depressing. We are fucked.

Are you in the North East? When out and about there with my son and new grandson, quite a few kind people stopped to admire the baby and put a coin in his pram. I’d never heard of that custom before ( was visiting from out of that area).

What does she owe her rudeness? Where is kindness in all of this? Your morals need checking. In light of Ann Widdecombe’s death you are not teaching any children you have kindness & respect.

This also used to happen in SE London in the early 80s .

My workmate's wife's French and they have a 13 month old baby. His wife's absolutely bowled over, delighted, and enchanted by people stopping them in the street and supermarket to say hello and engage with the wee one. She'd never come across the Scots (maybe UK wide...?) custom of gifting a baby a 'pound for their wee pocket..' The wee girl's got a full piggy bank now. 😘

Blimey OP, a bit of kindness and compassion wouldn't go amiss.

You'd have freaked at the old lady I bumped into in a supermarket years ago ... she took my DDs ice cream out of her hand and licked it 😁

I am an old lady. I smile or wave at toddlers in the street. I also interact with babies in pushchairs on buses - only if they respond to my overtures of course. I like to see if they can count. I never touch them though. It's utterly bizarre that you think someone would have to be lonely to enjoy the company of babies and toddlers. They are awesome little things.

That's so sweet, honestly.

A woman having boundaries is not always necessarily anxiety.

Her DH strolled off and ignored the woman as most males would if they don’t want to socialise. As women we are pressured societally to be nice and polite, even if we have a nagging gut instinct and are uncomfortable.